5th December 2010
It is also hard and sad for me to see the next update on the blog is this….
Dear.. u can call me ur dear anytime and anywhere u want to…
Cause it is also so hard for me to change the calling suddenly… I felt awkward from the minute we ended; hard for me to change my callings to u… especially I was in the bus going to mainblock to get the car… hmmm…
I love you too dear… I also really do… dear… I also dun wish to have a break up… this small matter can make us separate… I also dun want to… if only I could have the button, trigger, or switch to change this decision or not to breakup… dear, although its love that we have… but then I’m not saying I’m giving up on sustaining the relationship… it is just the problem that I’m having that causes us separate… I know I’m selfish… but I can’t do anything to help it… I’m sorry… I wish to do sumthing of it… but so many days of thinking… how do we overcome this matter… the ways… the solutions… cant make any difference… hmm… I also want to share with u… so everything that I told u… is everything more than I told my buddies… everything is to tell u what am I running through… tell u what have I been through… and update u with my current situation.. dear… I want u to be beside me as well.. but then… I just dun know the way we could stay together… I really out of my mind…
One week once to meet each other? Hmm… because u r my loved one, so I wish to give u all my time and no time to separate us… but then… one day… isn’t much enuf for me too… not only for u… hmm.. I just dun know how to be a good bf… I really dun know how to give u the right happiness that u want… I’m just not the best… always there are major problems… issues… this … that… making us so hard to be together… hmm… that is why I told dear to find another guy than me… although I dun like it… I dun want any guy to touch u… I dun want any guy to kiss u or hug u… but I have no chance to make this decision or choice adi… I cant stop anyone to touch dear anymore… I cant stop any guy to come near u anymore… I’m not given the chance at all adi also… cause I dun even know I could take care of myself or not… and my family issues… hmm… caused us to separate… so I cant do anything for dear anymore… make decisions for u… create solutions for u…. we need to be apart… dear… I know… if u want to find a guy… it would be easy for u… just snap, sure got d… I just hope u could find a better guy than me in future… no problems, issues, matters or anything… hmm… dear… u told me before that how I looked during the first day when we are together… u told me also that how u loved my looks… I rmb… I also rmb how I kissed dear in the class… it was Thursday… after a movie… then we started since then… now it becomes from “memories of us…” to “passed sweet memories of us…” hmm…
just now u were messaging me tell me the purple pendant is broken… cant mend or repair it back… it seems to be like our heart too… once broken… cant mend back… I know dear is having heart pain worst than me… heart pain like stabbed by a knife… can’t take out the knife… dun know how to take out… bleeding badly… pain… I know how it feels… but I also dun know how to make it less pain or no pain at all… although I know its my problem… but I just dun know how to mend or repair myself or to make ur pain to be lesser… in fact, I made dear more sad… I know dear more san fu than me… hmm… I dun know how to tell dear also on the breaking up… I’m so confused… I also knew that u know what I am bout to say d… I know this… but then… I dun know how to open the topic to dear… dun know how to start at all… dun know how to open my mouth too… cause I dun wish to end so fast too… I dun wish to open this topic to dear at all… I dun wish to…
Dear… I’m sorry for having u to break up with me after 1 year… I wish to be longer… I dun wish to have u sit alone the Dr Café alone… I know u dun like to alone… same as me… I also dun like to be alone… dun like the feeling of alone…
Now having little messages between us for the past 2 days… its because I’m missing dear’s messages too… the caring and lovely messages… the happy and supporting messages… I’m missing that too… I miss the days with u at Dr café drinking coffee… sitting at the corner… hugging u to have the coffee… or being together to sit there and do our stuff… waiting for u at the place… going to the cold air-cond toilet… going a walk at solaris… going to sushi king… going to cold storage… going to the toilet… at the carpark too… dear… I know all of this… money cant buy… its all our happiness together… I dun want this breakup to happen too… but do I have a choice? I’m not sure I have…
I also dun know why… this is like our separation letter or blog post… which I hardly could write much…but I know I’m writing a lot de… I also dun know what to say d… its just following dear’s messages and sentences in the blog, explaining how am I without dear… how bad am I that I dun have dear… how regretted am i… how pain am I making this decision… how my tears coming down… hmm… I know dear would be few times worst than me… I’m so sry!!~~
my tears also coming out nonstop while I’m writing this in my room… I really have no mood to go out… I also dun know what to do at home… wondering at home… no mood to even go out for dinner… dear… I haven’t been eating dinner for 2 days… ate little for lunch… non for breaky at all… morning till night… just 1 small meal… like half a bowl of rice… for the whole day… parents ask y d… I just told dem… no appetite… I’m sorry dear… I lied to dear again… I just dun want dear to worry bout me… (although I know u will worry… but its adi past d, so u will worry less by today… hope that u wont worry so much of me… I’ll take care myself… so must u k?=( ) Now like dear… my tears is automatically coming out… I’m so sad… why my dad… why this… why… why… why……..!!! hmmm…. I feel like screaming…!! Hmm… my heart is so pain right now… I just dun knw why I need to make this decision!! Jason say I got the choice… what choice do I have? Why it have to be me?? Whyyyyyy…..:( my heart now is broken and so pain…. Like last time… I just dun want another few months to be like this… I want dear to see me smiling… laughing… happy look… not like now…
Dear… there is also many things I WILL DEFINITELY rmb bout u… u wont be erased in my mind… ur pictures… ur looks… ur dresses… ur clothes… ur smell… our trips… our outings… our pictures together… I miss ur face… I miss ur shiny and nice smell de hair… how u every time told me… how nice is it… I seem to ignore… in fact, its I LOVE it… the smell is so nice on dear…. but now I really missed it… I missed it…. Really bad… I need to smell dear from far… cant simply play with it anymore… cant simply touch the silky hair anymore… i miss u massage my back for me… sit on my lap… lie on me… hug me… kiss me… I miss u so much… I’m bitting my teeth to write this… tears kept coming out… I miss the smiles on dear… how I could tickle dear… how I made dear smile… how I made dear felt so happy…. But now… I felt so bad… making this decision… my tears wont stop coming out…
Dear… I dun want to cry in the classroom because I want to stay a good look for dear to rmb… since now u cant see me… tears kept rolling like water tap… my specs is filling with my tears… I really dun wish I made this decision…
Actually I cried in the car while going back… then run into my room after bkb and continued… I dun dare to come out… just bath and then think of dear… then sit on my bed and then tears came out… I miss the days of u on my bed…. my eyes is this first time so swollen… this morning till now… only Jason and TK saw my eyes swollen when we are out awhile… they dint ask anything… they know… how bad am I…. how awful bf I could be…. And how sad am i… but compared me to dear… dear would be more sad… more heart pain… after that, straight away went home and straight into my room… walkabout in the house when parents are out…
Then while on9 outside, I saw my FB status is only “in a relationship…” I dint know dear changed it so fast… I’m so sad to see that… I dint wish to see that on my profile… my profile pic remains the same… I dun feel like changing it so fast or even changing it… do we really need to clear out the situation so fast? Hmmm… I really missed that moment in SUNWAY…. I hug u till the end… whole day together….:(
dear..i love u sitting in my CLK.. dear… u still got the chance 2 sit in dat.. but I just think it wouldn’t be the same feeling… couldn’t hold ur hand… couldn’t kiss u when coming in the car or going out of the car… dear… I really like it when u rmb all the things that I’ve said… although u seem to fu yan me… but I know u’ll rmb everything what I say… I really appreciate what u’ve said too… I’m grateful to have u as my gf… I’m so happy when u firstly accepted me… but I dint know we cant make it through next year… I really felt that I’m no use… for so little problem… not even my problem… i cant fix it… dear… although u like to see how I drive… but then… I love the most is when I hold ur hand and drive… it feels like although the car is breaking off, but we wont be leaving each other…. And the best but dangerous is… I’m hugging dear… dear lying on me… and I’m driving the car… it felt so short time at that moment on the way back from One utama to college… but then I LOVE it… and started to missed it adi… cause we couldn’t do this anymore… I was like thinking before this when we could do that again? When can we do that on a long straight road…? So I could hug dear long enuf and dear lie on me and sleep… but now…. We cant do it anymore d… hmm… just for one small matter of my family… my tears now coming out even more… causing me to stop and continue… stop to wipe my tears… and then continue typing… dear… if I have a choice… I wouldn’t have chosen this path… I dun like this way or decision….:( if I could only do sumthing…..
dear… I was waiting for sumthing for so long as dear I think u are as well… its dear seeing me playing basketball…. While slowly changing my clothes for the basketball time… I recalled I always message u as soon as when I arrived… I always waited some of my time…to message dear and waiting for ur replies… but then… last Friday… I dint get to message dear or get messages from dear… its gone d… while playing bkb… there were no messaging between us… making me no mood to play… played until very bad… and many of the phones kept ringing… its not my phone… its not my ringtone… it was others phones… not mine… not a single message between us… not a miss call even… nothing… usually there would be messages from dear saying u reach home… call me to jia you in the bkb… enjoy the game… after the game, ask me how is the game is… hmm… I felt so lonely that moment… I miss dear so much… dear have influenced me so much… I just wish one day u could sit there and see me play basketball… I would feel more energetic… omg… dear…… I MISS U SO MUCH!!!~~~ but this day… for me and dear… would be just a wish… that cant be granted… see me play bkb from nw onwards would also wont make any changes… from now… we would be frens… instead of… ahhhH!!:( I dun want… I just dun want… dun want… dun want… there is adi no chance for u to see me play anymore… no chance for u to see me in the bkb games… I really dun wish this breakup to happen…
when dear say how nice is my writing… although I dun feel anything nice bout it… but I feel happy… dear look so surprised and happy to see my notes… it makes me feel so happy and that u appreciate my notes… although u dun know most of the things written… but then… it really make me feel that dear treats it very important… dear… now I’m also looking at the b’day card u sent to me… reading it over and over… made me felt so appreciated… so happy… our 6mths anny… “dear, 6mths of Kiss”, “a heart and a smiley face with the tongue…”I’m so happy… 17 cupcakes… I remember I brought home eat the rest de… then mum and the auntie ate the last 2… I miss the days… I’m looking at the pictures…. How much u suffered and went through just to make the cupcakes for me… the chocolates… the drawings and cuttings… I miss u… I miss so much… the chocolates dear… the sweet chocolates… dear…. Dear… dear… my tears kept falling down… even more when I’m writing this part… omg… how to stop my crying? Hmm… why is it me to stop this relationship? Why must we??!! Why my dad is giving this problem to us?? Hmmm…….. AHHHHhhhhh~~!!! Hmm… why!! Why!! Dear… I’m so sry…. I’m very sorry… dear… please forgive me…
Everywhere I bring my bag… the green color box that stores the toothpicks of “dear, 6mths of Kiss”, is always in my bag… “a heart and a smiley face with the tongue…” is always in my toolbox… the pictures are all in all my computers and my hard disk… it was never thrown anywhere else but in my pencil box and my bag only… everywhere I also brought it along… hmm… I miss u so much…. I’m sorry dear… I promised dear to make one b’day card for u too… but till now… I haven’t been fulfilling all my promises to u…. so many empty promises made… I HATE MYSELF…. Really feel like doing something stupid…. its just not I dun dare… its just I have so many people I dun want them to be sad… especially u… so many things I cant simply left behind… my family…. U…. hmmm… I still HATE myself… for not remembering all the things that I’ve promised dear…
dear… I dint know u wanna plan so many things for me for next year… all my plan is to bring dear to somewhere for valentines day and ur birthday… for 5 days 4nights trip for both trips… I really want to have another long holiday like what we have in Genting… although Genting was short… but I really enjoyed it… I really wish to have once more… but now cannot d… cannot like last time d…. I know dear is more wishing to have it more than me…. But then… hmm… I dun know how to go again with dear… the chances… would be very low… dear… the BROS bottles.. Actually I found the white twins… custom made de… it is at a shop nearby my place… I found it d… they say it will be coming with the valentine’s twins… I was waiting for that…. To be our couple bottles… although it looked fake BROS bottles… but its made of steel… so I think its sustainable… I really wish I could get it for both of us… making hot coffees with it…
dear… the floral dress… act, I knw u have a dress d…. cause everytime I told dear about the dress… u gave me the feeling that u have adi owned one… I just kept quiet only….:( but dint know… I dint have the chance to even have a glimpse of it… the chances of the dress being seen by me… 0%, the chances of the dress being seen by other people… 80%... 20% is depending dear want to wear or not… dear… I really wish most of the outings… u could dun wear jeans and t-shirt but dresses… that make dear look pretty like in the Sushi King… after ur work… we had the meal and the dress was looking good on dear… hmm… but then… I wouldn’t have the chance d…
dear… I know there would be a choice for me but is it for me to choose? Or for me to follow only?… I might be wrong on my decision made… but for now… I need to stick with my decision as the things have gone even bad for my dad… hmmm…. Money for us kept being lesser and lesser…. I know u respect my decision… I’m sorry dear… I dint respect u at all… I dint respect your decisions… I’ve neglected u… I also dun know what to say… other than the word “sorry” and “its my fault”, I also dun know what to tell dear… thank you dear… for respecting my decision… supporting me… guiding me… help me to go through the year of 2010… I really missed the 370 days of us being together… from 19th November 2009 to 3rd December 2010… exactly 370 days… I just wish we could have went well… dint have to make this decision… this move… this stupid ACT of MINE!! I really hate myself so much… felt so sick of myself…
dear… I felt so bad that I made dear cry nonstop… I also can’t stop since just now…. I just can’t help it too… I just wish I dint made this decision… I just wish that I dint have to say the words of break up… I just wish I could take it all back… I’m just HOPELESS~~~ AHHHHHhhhhhh!!!~~~~
dear…. I can’t take care of u from now on…. Dear… please dear… I just want u to take care of yourself… I just want u to be well…. Please dear… take care of yourself properly…. dun always eat fried or grilled food… when drink coffee then drink more water…. Always make sure u drink more water when I’m not beside u… there wouldn’t have me anymore to remind u to drink water anymore… no more reminding dear to drink more water… dear…. Please… drink more water… stay healthy for yourself k? stay well… and be always PINKY LOVE…
dear… I really wish that u could forgive me… I just commented on her pic… because its new… no other reason… I dint miss anyone except u…. dear… always u see me talk to girls… talk until very close…. But actually I’m thinking of u every moment… in my mind, I always rmb how u used to stand, smile, kissing me… the looks of urs… its not like I treat all them like u…. its just I kept seeing u in my mind… hmm… its true dear… I really miss u so much…. Dear… if I want to start back the relationship… I hope u could be the first one to accept me back… hmm… I dun dare to promise what might happen next time… but if can, I really wish u could be the first one to accept me back… I know the possibilities of it to happen would be little… but…… hmm…. I really want… hmm..:(
dear…. Luckily tomolo is Sunday… so that I could hide myself in my room… I dun know how long I will be crying… since yesterday till now… I also dun know how long I’ve been awake to think the matter of my dad and think of u… I haven’t been sleeping since yesterday till now… not even touched the bed… I’m not tired… I just switch on the computer and kept looking at the pictures of us… over and over again… recalling all the pictures of us together… where were we… did what… had what food… what activities done… and before the breakup… I took so many pictures so that I could show dear…but most of it hasn’t shown to dear… like today…. I took a lot of pictures… where I’ve been, what have I done… it is not for my memory only… its for us… so I could tell dear… what have I done…. Who am I with… who the people I’ve met are… Not as prove to dear… but its just letting dear to see the picture of what I’ve done… but then… I just realized that I’ve neglected dear this time… hmm….
Even the BM lecturer also kept asking of where is u… why dint see u today…. Ask why my phone dint kept ringing… or vibrate…. Because she also knew how close we are… how good relationship we are… but then… I really, really dun know what to do… its confusing… I really dun know what to say d…. to write this long… I just followed dear’s message in the blog… if u realized… hmmm.. I really dun know what to tell dear…. My nose is also pain, pain… no matter I breathe in or out… no matter I blow my nose or rub it… cause I’ve been nonstop crying and thinking of dear…. My nose stuck since yesterday… hmmm… so rubbed until my nose adi bruises…
dear… I really hope my life will be better soon… everything goes back like to the 1st day I knew dear…. There is no problem for us… no matter… no issues… no problems… just us… and only us….:(
Dear… I also hope that u could promise me… take care of yourself when I’m not around… take care of your health… and when u are outside alone or not… remember to drink more water…. Dun eat so much of grilled or fried food although I know u like it… but then… try to just eat a little… then drink lots of water… and dun make yourself so tired from your dance… your work…. Because your ankle pain came back… your anti-body isn’t that good also… so, u must take care… dun be so careless adi… cut yourself also dun know… when tired… no one to help u to massage d… so u must really take care… if u want… call me or sms me… I sure help dear to massage de… ok? Hmmm… hmmm… dear… I’m not there for u adi… so please… promise me…. Take care of yourself properly… I dun want to have anything to happen to u…. dear… stop crying d… just let this to pass k? Hmm… I dun want u to have anything bad… I dun want your eyes to get swollen like mine now… I really dun know what else to say… dun know…. Really dun know…. There is so much things of u for me to take care…. but from 3rd of December 2010, Friday… I cant take care of u anymore… I cant concern on u like I always do… I cant kiss u, sayang u, hug u, tickle u, massage u, and touch u like I always do… I cant anymore… i… i… i… I’m so sry…
“dear..i love u so much~if u say u love me..i love u more~kisskisskisskiss..” this sentence dear…. I want to rephrase it back to u… I really mean it… that is why I dun always say “I love u, dear”, cause every word of it that I’ve said… I really mean it….:(
dear..i love you..i love you till the max too!!~~ take care of yourself when no matter u r in Malaysia or in Japan… just take care of yourself…. K?
LOVE and Always, Jack Foo Pang Ban, 5th December 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
3rd December 2010
Its so pathetic 2 see a break up blog right after our 1st yr anny blog..
dear.. pls allow me 2 cal u dat 4 de last time..k?
i love you dear.. i really do~ i duno dat such a matter can cause us 2 break up..cz 2 me as long as there is love, i wil try my best 2 sustain de relationship..i oso face prob dear..but i wan u 2 share vf me go through vf me..n vf all my heart, i'm willing 2 do de same 2 u dear.. cz u r my love one..
u said in de classroom jz nw..find a better guy..if i wanted a better guy.. i wont b here vf u after 1 yr..u r my dream guy..de guy dat i wanted n i get..but sadly onli 4 a year..de day i step into help..i saw u~i like u~n much more..i can never forget seeing u in dsa,vf ur blue bag,n de gold pin at ur collar vf a pair of slippers..i jz like it..
dear..i'm in dr cafe writng dis..having my fav caramel frappe vf whipped cream..wat m i missing??its u dear..de sofa is empty,but no1 is 2 share vf me 2 sit there again~i wan 2 do de things i like best n hv my fav drink..dear..there's no taste..u see..money cant buy happiness..
dear..there's so many things i wana rmb bout u~b4 everything in my mind get empty..i wana rmb hw u look..every part of ur face,i wana rmb ur big palms dat i love so much,i wana rmb my water bed,i love 2 see hw big u r..hw tall u r..cz it makes me small n u treat me like a precious~can jz b wrap in ur arms..n no 1 will attack me..i feel safe in ur arms dear..onli urs..
dear..i love ur CLK..i gt no chance 2 sit in dat anymore..i dun mind 2 gt a small car..but i love it~cz dear oways say hw gud izit..n ur 'KELISA POWER' dear..i love de way u drive,sumtimes u drive,i like 2 jz suddenly watch u n smile..cz u look so man when u do so~concentrate n steady~driving vf 1 hand,turning vf 1 hand..n driving seems so easy 4 u..i jz love see u drive..
dear,i love 2 hear u say hw much i've influence u..cz it makes me feel, i hv adi go into ur life~eat less rice,more vege..eat my fav wan tan mee..n feel no mood if eating alone..so many more dear..so many more..
dear..i wana rmb ur neat writing..ur neat notes..super love ur writing dear..dear..i kept reading bek de valentine card u wrote 4 me at the curve do u remember?short n sweet..dats de onli card dat i left 2 see bek ur writing dear..cz u onli wrote 2 me 1 love letter~
dear..i've adi plan out wat 2 get 4 u dis yr n next yr..things dat u nid~shoes..clothes..pants..n want 2 get de type u like n suit u~i'm searching 4 de bros bottle dat we wanted 2 b our couple bottle..black de dear..1u no more stock..i called ppl help me find..now i can stop doing it de..
dear..u said mayb i'l look nice in long floral dress..i tried 1 n bought it de dear..i wanted 2 wear it 4 our anny..i wan dear 2 see me pretty..i wan gv dear surprise..i noe u cant afford dear..so i dun ask anymore n kept de dress de~
dear..i respect ur decision..u noe..my wallpaper.. love is respect..den do u respect my decision dear??do u think hw i feel when u make de decision dear?but since de decision is made,i'll follow dear..
i cant stop crying..no i din cry..its de tears kept falling down demself when i'm writing dis~i cant control dear..i'm sorry..i cannot promise 2 take care of myself..dis i cannot promise u~
for de fb..dear change de relationship status since its ur decision dear..n since we adi broke up~although i miss u so much dat will cry every nite.. but we stil gota hv a clear cut of de situation now~
dear..in de sms u wan me 2 forgive u~but when i see ur fb again~u find bek yee huan..i oso duno u izit miss her o nt~i'm so confuse~i'm jz sad nt angry..u said we could cont b friends n love me..i hope u do wat u say~n not get anothe gal after a month..in dat case..i'll never forgive u anymore~
dear..i hope ur life will b better soon..i hope ur family probs will end soon..n sum1 will help u all~cz i dun wan dear suffer oso~
dear..i love u so much~if u say u love me..i love u more~kisskisskisskiss..
dear..i love you..i love you..
love, phoebe chiew shu ping 3rd december 2010
dear.. pls allow me 2 cal u dat 4 de last time..k?
i love you dear.. i really do~ i duno dat such a matter can cause us 2 break up..cz 2 me as long as there is love, i wil try my best 2 sustain de relationship..i oso face prob dear..but i wan u 2 share vf me go through vf me..n vf all my heart, i'm willing 2 do de same 2 u dear.. cz u r my love one..
u said in de classroom jz nw..find a better guy..if i wanted a better guy.. i wont b here vf u after 1 yr..u r my dream guy..de guy dat i wanted n i get..but sadly onli 4 a year..de day i step into help..i saw u~i like u~n much more..i can never forget seeing u in dsa,vf ur blue bag,n de gold pin at ur collar vf a pair of slippers..i jz like it..
dear..i'm in dr cafe writng dis..having my fav caramel frappe vf whipped cream..wat m i missing??its u dear..de sofa is empty,but no1 is 2 share vf me 2 sit there again~i wan 2 do de things i like best n hv my fav drink..dear..there's no taste..u see..money cant buy happiness..
dear..there's so many things i wana rmb bout u~b4 everything in my mind get empty..i wana rmb hw u look..every part of ur face,i wana rmb ur big palms dat i love so much,i wana rmb my water bed,i love 2 see hw big u r..hw tall u r..cz it makes me small n u treat me like a precious~can jz b wrap in ur arms..n no 1 will attack me..i feel safe in ur arms dear..onli urs..
dear..i love ur CLK..i gt no chance 2 sit in dat anymore..i dun mind 2 gt a small car..but i love it~cz dear oways say hw gud izit..n ur 'KELISA POWER' dear..i love de way u drive,sumtimes u drive,i like 2 jz suddenly watch u n smile..cz u look so man when u do so~concentrate n steady~driving vf 1 hand,turning vf 1 hand..n driving seems so easy 4 u..i jz love see u drive..
dear,i love 2 hear u say hw much i've influence u..cz it makes me feel, i hv adi go into ur life~eat less rice,more vege..eat my fav wan tan mee..n feel no mood if eating alone..so many more dear..so many more..
dear..i wana rmb ur neat writing..ur neat notes..super love ur writing dear..dear..i kept reading bek de valentine card u wrote 4 me at the curve do u remember?short n sweet..dats de onli card dat i left 2 see bek ur writing dear..cz u onli wrote 2 me 1 love letter~
dear..i've adi plan out wat 2 get 4 u dis yr n next yr..things dat u nid~shoes..clothes..pants..n want 2 get de type u like n suit u~i'm searching 4 de bros bottle dat we wanted 2 b our couple bottle..black de dear..1u no more stock..i called ppl help me find..now i can stop doing it de..
dear..u said mayb i'l look nice in long floral dress..i tried 1 n bought it de dear..i wanted 2 wear it 4 our anny..i wan dear 2 see me pretty..i wan gv dear surprise..i noe u cant afford dear..so i dun ask anymore n kept de dress de~
dear..i respect ur decision..u noe..my wallpaper.. love is respect..den do u respect my decision dear??do u think hw i feel when u make de decision dear?but since de decision is made,i'll follow dear..
i cant stop crying..no i din cry..its de tears kept falling down demself when i'm writing dis~i cant control dear..i'm sorry..i cannot promise 2 take care of myself..dis i cannot promise u~
for de fb..dear change de relationship status since its ur decision dear..n since we adi broke up~although i miss u so much dat will cry every nite.. but we stil gota hv a clear cut of de situation now~
dear..in de sms u wan me 2 forgive u~but when i see ur fb again~u find bek yee huan..i oso duno u izit miss her o nt~i'm so confuse~i'm jz sad nt angry..u said we could cont b friends n love me..i hope u do wat u say~n not get anothe gal after a month..in dat case..i'll never forgive u anymore~
dear..i hope ur life will b better soon..i hope ur family probs will end soon..n sum1 will help u all~cz i dun wan dear suffer oso~
dear..i love u so much~if u say u love me..i love u more~kisskisskisskiss..
dear..i love you..i love you..
love, phoebe chiew shu ping 3rd december 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
1st Year anniversary
dear...
happy Anniversary for the 1st Year... 19.11
i'm also lucky that i found u as my gf... i appreciate dear alot...
although i tried my best to work as hard i can to make u happy and make things right...
but seems to be very hard for me as well... i'm trying my best k? hehe
dear, to me.. u r always pretty k? make u a precious... hehehe...
dear... i also like it when u r sleeping on me when i'm driving.. but it seems dangerous.. cant do that often o.. hahaha
but dear...
all seems hard for these past few months..
hope u could run along with me..
tq dear for supporting me:)
ur love too...
Jack Foo
happy Anniversary for the 1st Year... 19.11
i'm also lucky that i found u as my gf... i appreciate dear alot...
although i tried my best to work as hard i can to make u happy and make things right...
but seems to be very hard for me as well... i'm trying my best k? hehe
dear, to me.. u r always pretty k? make u a precious... hehehe...
dear... i also like it when u r sleeping on me when i'm driving.. but it seems dangerous.. cant do that often o.. hahaha
but dear...
all seems hard for these past few months..
hope u could run along with me..
tq dear for supporting me:)
ur love too...
Jack Foo
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Genting Highlands Day 2 and Day 3...
as u all have waited so long.... this is the day 2 and day 3... after exams ma... mai continue lo...
Day 2 (7/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
The day 2 started when i woke up in the middle of the morning and cause of neck pain..
Dint really slept properly...
In the end, slept then wake then sleep back...
Until 12pm with me and my dear...
So happy that we can share the night together...
Then we went out of the room and cleaned ourselves... found out also that the whole house has no one except us...
After the cleaning and bathing... we then found the note... saying that they went out...
Inn kun and Yvonne was also missing... dun know where they went to.. then note only shows that Cindy and Adrian when walking...
The plan from yesterday was a total disaster... supposed to have breaky together de... morning de... not brunch in the afternoon... we bad.. lol...
Then they started making food... me and my dear bought additional food...
Got eggs, butter, and sugar with a packet of milo... funny thing is the price is FREAKING EXPENSIVE...
One egg cost bout rm0.70 and the sugar is rm2.50 per 500 gram... omg.. so exp...
Nvm lo.. this is GENTING ma... what to do?
Went back up with my dear and went on cooking...
The next problem starts...
Fire stove not working... and matches not lighten up...
Then called the person and went down AGAIN to House Cleaning Department to get the matches..
The worst part, that idiot say the matches are wet.. so hard to light always...
Then he gives me the same type of matches.... -.-!!! what the...
I tried to light it up next to a dustbin.. where got cigarettes ashes... but then, dint light.. same effect..
In the end, bought a lighter which is rm1.70.. which is also a cacat one..
Cant light properly...
After all that mess and problems with issues in it, still cant light...
Luckily Adrian was clever.. he checked the gas... not attached at all.. omg!! What a noob...
But without fire, how to start jek? Finished making brunch and eaten brunch hungrily...
Got baked beans, scrambled eggs, toast bread, and milo... lol...
After all of that, we packed up and my dear, Phoebe and Yvonne make the liberty to clean the plates ASAP so that we could go out fast... while Adrian and Cindy took the chance to clean the table.. lolx..
So fast everything went completely clean.. if only we were staying this type of house with roommates like that.. so happy... u do a bit, i do a bit... so nice.. lolx!
Then we make our journey back up the hill again... back to the first world, and went back to the warehouse sale, cause Inn Kun and Yvonne haven’t went there before
After walking for a moment, me and my dear decided to buy shoes for her... bought the shoes for her d... rm29.90, BUM Equipment... how cheap is that.. lol... quite yeng also... hehehe..
Then we went and kai kai around the place... went walking by... then went to casino...
That was our idea.. hahahaha... then went inside the casino... the laughing is because someone made me laugh until now...
The conversation was like this...
Me: the gambling is like this...
Phoebe: oh really?? But the guy put all the money inside...
Me: oh... the banker very geng... win only by a point...
Phoebe: ya lo... very geng...
When the person lost again... in the gamble,
Phoebe: (said loudly behind the guy) the guy lost again!!
Me: wa liao... dun so loud...
The guy looked at us... then we left quickly... so bad, we all went and say bad about the person...
Then we went to walk around the casino... looking at the new place... looking at the renovation.. all kinds of gambling’s things... then got hot coffee and hot milo inside the casino...
About 8pm, we went back to the apartment... went and rest... bath... and then wanted to have dinner... but we have what for dinner... i’m kinda blur... i think it was the remaining bread and eggs...
But when we gathered back at the dinner table, we played cards in the apartment... exhausted for the day... after playing not long... they have been too exhausted...
But me and my dear... went out... cause not that tired... it was HUNGRY!! Went walking up to the mini market at the old town restaurant there... having the cold breeze and bought the food there....
Got 3 bowls of mee is rm9, then bought bout 6... 2 each for our gang and for us... bought sweets (till now still inside my fridge) haha... and BEER!! One can is 500ml de... 12.2% de... went back to the apartment and started our meal.. having fun... but the prawn mee... is awkward... kinda funny de paste that is for the mee...
Finished the meal.. had the fun... then went to sleep... till the next day...
Day 3 (8/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
Just woke up... then quickly bath... did all the things.. pack up... run up and down.. then packed d...
Went down... with our beloved “HEAVY” bags... hahaha.. now even heavier due to the water and the things we bought... hahaha..
Then we walked up to the bus stop... finding for bus... at 1st at the bus stop of GENTING, the person over there... very gila.. not over there... and only 9pm onwards only got bus tickets... gila de...
Then we are gila enough to walk another way... that is a long journey like from north to south for the cable car... and got the tickets from there... at 1st we plan to sit like how we sat when we sat on the 1st day... but in the end, we all cramp into a cable car... hahahaha...
Have some pics taking... then went arrived, we went to get our bus ticket...
The lady very irresponsible and very rude to customers... i think usually she gets complains... cause when serving Cindy, she asked nicely but that idiot Malay lady so rude!! Then dared Cindy to complain to the GENTING department...
Dun care the rude lady la... then the bus came on time... and before that, i went to toilet before rushing into the bus... hahaha...
In the bus, went on sleeping... went on sleeping until we reach the ONE UTAMA back, but then i did something wrong... called my dad on that spot...
Dear, i was so sorry at that moment... i am sorry every time i remember that moment...
I’m so sorry that i left u so early... leaving u alone... really sorry till nw... i dun want to put this into the memories de... but i cant dun remember this moment... i’m really really sorry....
I was too blur to call my dad at that moment... hmm... really exhausted... when i left the subway... i walked slowly into the car... thinking of u only... hope u forgive me... :( hmmm.... i really hope u forget this case k? Kiss kiss... muacks!!!
Then this is how we ended our holidays... some happy and sad moments... hmm.. :(
Day 2 (7/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
The day 2 started when i woke up in the middle of the morning and cause of neck pain..
Dint really slept properly...
In the end, slept then wake then sleep back...
Until 12pm with me and my dear...
So happy that we can share the night together...
Then we went out of the room and cleaned ourselves... found out also that the whole house has no one except us...
After the cleaning and bathing... we then found the note... saying that they went out...
Inn kun and Yvonne was also missing... dun know where they went to.. then note only shows that Cindy and Adrian when walking...
The plan from yesterday was a total disaster... supposed to have breaky together de... morning de... not brunch in the afternoon... we bad.. lol...
Then they started making food... me and my dear bought additional food...
Got eggs, butter, and sugar with a packet of milo... funny thing is the price is FREAKING EXPENSIVE...
One egg cost bout rm0.70 and the sugar is rm2.50 per 500 gram... omg.. so exp...
Nvm lo.. this is GENTING ma... what to do?
Went back up with my dear and went on cooking...
The next problem starts...
Fire stove not working... and matches not lighten up...
Then called the person and went down AGAIN to House Cleaning Department to get the matches..
The worst part, that idiot say the matches are wet.. so hard to light always...
Then he gives me the same type of matches.... -.-!!! what the...
I tried to light it up next to a dustbin.. where got cigarettes ashes... but then, dint light.. same effect..
In the end, bought a lighter which is rm1.70.. which is also a cacat one..
Cant light properly...
After all that mess and problems with issues in it, still cant light...
Luckily Adrian was clever.. he checked the gas... not attached at all.. omg!! What a noob...
But without fire, how to start jek? Finished making brunch and eaten brunch hungrily...
Got baked beans, scrambled eggs, toast bread, and milo... lol...
After all of that, we packed up and my dear, Phoebe and Yvonne make the liberty to clean the plates ASAP so that we could go out fast... while Adrian and Cindy took the chance to clean the table.. lolx..
So fast everything went completely clean.. if only we were staying this type of house with roommates like that.. so happy... u do a bit, i do a bit... so nice.. lolx!
Then we make our journey back up the hill again... back to the first world, and went back to the warehouse sale, cause Inn Kun and Yvonne haven’t went there before
After walking for a moment, me and my dear decided to buy shoes for her... bought the shoes for her d... rm29.90, BUM Equipment... how cheap is that.. lol... quite yeng also... hehehe..
Then we went and kai kai around the place... went walking by... then went to casino...
That was our idea.. hahahaha... then went inside the casino... the laughing is because someone made me laugh until now...
The conversation was like this...
Me: the gambling is like this...
Phoebe: oh really?? But the guy put all the money inside...
Me: oh... the banker very geng... win only by a point...
Phoebe: ya lo... very geng...
When the person lost again... in the gamble,
Phoebe: (said loudly behind the guy) the guy lost again!!
Me: wa liao... dun so loud...
The guy looked at us... then we left quickly... so bad, we all went and say bad about the person...
Then we went to walk around the casino... looking at the new place... looking at the renovation.. all kinds of gambling’s things... then got hot coffee and hot milo inside the casino...
About 8pm, we went back to the apartment... went and rest... bath... and then wanted to have dinner... but we have what for dinner... i’m kinda blur... i think it was the remaining bread and eggs...
But when we gathered back at the dinner table, we played cards in the apartment... exhausted for the day... after playing not long... they have been too exhausted...
But me and my dear... went out... cause not that tired... it was HUNGRY!! Went walking up to the mini market at the old town restaurant there... having the cold breeze and bought the food there....
Got 3 bowls of mee is rm9, then bought bout 6... 2 each for our gang and for us... bought sweets (till now still inside my fridge) haha... and BEER!! One can is 500ml de... 12.2% de... went back to the apartment and started our meal.. having fun... but the prawn mee... is awkward... kinda funny de paste that is for the mee...
Finished the meal.. had the fun... then went to sleep... till the next day...
Day 3 (8/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
Just woke up... then quickly bath... did all the things.. pack up... run up and down.. then packed d...
Went down... with our beloved “HEAVY” bags... hahaha.. now even heavier due to the water and the things we bought... hahaha..
Then we walked up to the bus stop... finding for bus... at 1st at the bus stop of GENTING, the person over there... very gila.. not over there... and only 9pm onwards only got bus tickets... gila de...
Then we are gila enough to walk another way... that is a long journey like from north to south for the cable car... and got the tickets from there... at 1st we plan to sit like how we sat when we sat on the 1st day... but in the end, we all cramp into a cable car... hahahaha...
Have some pics taking... then went arrived, we went to get our bus ticket...
The lady very irresponsible and very rude to customers... i think usually she gets complains... cause when serving Cindy, she asked nicely but that idiot Malay lady so rude!! Then dared Cindy to complain to the GENTING department...
Dun care the rude lady la... then the bus came on time... and before that, i went to toilet before rushing into the bus... hahaha...
In the bus, went on sleeping... went on sleeping until we reach the ONE UTAMA back, but then i did something wrong... called my dad on that spot...
Dear, i was so sorry at that moment... i am sorry every time i remember that moment...
I’m so sorry that i left u so early... leaving u alone... really sorry till nw... i dun want to put this into the memories de... but i cant dun remember this moment... i’m really really sorry....
I was too blur to call my dad at that moment... hmm... really exhausted... when i left the subway... i walked slowly into the car... thinking of u only... hope u forgive me... :( hmmm.... i really hope u forget this case k? Kiss kiss... muacks!!!
Then this is how we ended our holidays... some happy and sad moments... hmm.. :(
Monday, October 4, 2010
i'm sorry...
dear... although i havent post the day 2 and 3... which i wasnt able to finish... but i'm trying my best to finish it k? :(
Dear, i know that i never remember the timing of urs is my fault...
I know that i give u the feeling of i simply replied the smses to u is also my fault...
I know that its my fault...
I’m not saying that i know all this and i still want to do...
But i dun know how to tell u my situation...
For example today...
U said ur house no electricity...
Then ur whole garden... i was wondering what garden...
I really dun know what garden u referring.. total lost and blur... thinking... ur car porch also no garden... hmmm... then i mai leave it aside until i ask again...
Dint know dear was like so mad and pissed...
Bout the time of the dance.. i nearly remembered the time for ur classes correctly... although not correct, but it was close... at least i made a try... not like today i totally dun know...
Maybe its also because u have started back ur dancing classes and my exams are killing me... i’m really haywire...
Its not i’m doin anything... its not i’m talking to anyone... not sick, not tired or anything else...
Maybe i just need time to think what should i be doing... that is the question...
Then my messages would also be the same... blur blur and dun even know what am i talking bout...
Dear.. i know its my fault... i cant change this habit of mine.. i hope u understand my weaknesses as well... i cant remember many things from the start... till now.. i wont fake myself or force myself just to love u then i only remember ur timings... i love u who the way u are... i care for u is not using the timings to determine it... i love u from last time till now is still the same.. neva change and nothing has changed... i care for u is ur condition, ur mood, ur health, ur safety, ur surroundings... not the time.. time is our enemy.... why should i be caring the time of u? What time u dance i must know? Shouldnt that be over my brain use?
I’m not saying that you are not important to me... i’m not saying ur timing is not important... i’m not saying its not necessary... but my brain now has a use of what to do... even like so small matter i could forget... just like taking a book just now... i’ve reminded myself, after class.. go bank take a bit money... then go and take the book... then after the bank... i went up to KPD A, i took my bag... and just walk to the bus without thinking bout it again... nothing about the book adi.. cause i was worrying on ur condition... i was worrying the exam is going to be like how... hmmm... not i wanna blame dear... no blaming done... that is just me... kept thinking about another thing while doing something... : (
I hope i can concentrate... hmm... but my brain seems running to another point... : (
Dear, i know that i never remember the timing of urs is my fault...
I know that i give u the feeling of i simply replied the smses to u is also my fault...
I know that its my fault...
I’m not saying that i know all this and i still want to do...
But i dun know how to tell u my situation...
For example today...
U said ur house no electricity...
Then ur whole garden... i was wondering what garden...
I really dun know what garden u referring.. total lost and blur... thinking... ur car porch also no garden... hmmm... then i mai leave it aside until i ask again...
Dint know dear was like so mad and pissed...
Bout the time of the dance.. i nearly remembered the time for ur classes correctly... although not correct, but it was close... at least i made a try... not like today i totally dun know...
Maybe its also because u have started back ur dancing classes and my exams are killing me... i’m really haywire...
Its not i’m doin anything... its not i’m talking to anyone... not sick, not tired or anything else...
Maybe i just need time to think what should i be doing... that is the question...
Then my messages would also be the same... blur blur and dun even know what am i talking bout...
Dear.. i know its my fault... i cant change this habit of mine.. i hope u understand my weaknesses as well... i cant remember many things from the start... till now.. i wont fake myself or force myself just to love u then i only remember ur timings... i love u who the way u are... i care for u is not using the timings to determine it... i love u from last time till now is still the same.. neva change and nothing has changed... i care for u is ur condition, ur mood, ur health, ur safety, ur surroundings... not the time.. time is our enemy.... why should i be caring the time of u? What time u dance i must know? Shouldnt that be over my brain use?
I’m not saying that you are not important to me... i’m not saying ur timing is not important... i’m not saying its not necessary... but my brain now has a use of what to do... even like so small matter i could forget... just like taking a book just now... i’ve reminded myself, after class.. go bank take a bit money... then go and take the book... then after the bank... i went up to KPD A, i took my bag... and just walk to the bus without thinking bout it again... nothing about the book adi.. cause i was worrying on ur condition... i was worrying the exam is going to be like how... hmmm... not i wanna blame dear... no blaming done... that is just me... kept thinking about another thing while doing something... : (
I hope i can concentrate... hmm... but my brain seems running to another point... : (
Friday, September 10, 2010
1st day in Genting Highlands with my dear
Day 1 (7/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
Early morning in 6am, went to 1 Utama, waited for my dear to come..
But be4 that, i was in so pain in my tummy...
went and sneak into the 1Utama’s shopping centre...
to cure my tummy ache... went inside the shopping centre and then had my time there...
approx 8something... i waited at the bus stop... wondering whether is that the real and exact bus stop... since i dint know any details of the trip... waited for my dear...
then there was this bunch of kids... shouting and screaming like no one’s business.. as if its their house.. omg.. kept talking loud nonstop... all aunties and uncles was looking at them and then they dint even bothered... omg...
at 8 something bout to reach 9am, my dear and Cindy and Adrain came..
1st time seeing Adrain and Cindy face to face... lol...
In the end, we could only bought the 10am tickets due to their timing to board the bus was already over...
Then we (as in Cindy, Adrain, Me, My dear, Zhee Ray, and Charmaine, i think i spelled correctly) sat there and begin chatting on how are u... how’ve u been.. and many more...
However, that moment was getting to know what happened when they dint see each other...
Then we boarded the bus, at first, it looked so grand for us to go up the bus, but there was no seatings... that makes us sick... but then.. luckily, we are boarding to a bus with seating numbers.. omg.. so much better...
And then, we took off to the SkyWay Genting to go up Genting Highlands... we have rooms at Ria Apartments, but this time, its at PAHANG side, rather than SELANGOR building...
When reach the SkyWay, we rushed up to the cable car area, took our sweet time and boarded the cable cars... me and my dear was alone in the cable car.. so nice... although all had the same thing... couples together in a cable car, (although RAY and Charmaine is not couples, but they looked as if..) but then, me and my dear were the only ones who has only both of us in it and the other couples has people behind them... but anyway... its just a ride... our ride was number 17 on it... lolx..
GENTING THEME PARK
At the first step into the theme park...
Lovely, hot and delicious smell of food rushed to our noise and made us all even hungry than before and the wind, blown so cooling... before we made the way to the mcdonalds, i went to CIMB bank to get the last remaining money of mine..
Then we made our way to Mcdonalds first... because we were so hungry until my dear gastric d... cham cham for her... hmm.. then we all ordered our food... we ordered 2 burgers (Big Mac and a beef burger, the last set in Mcdonalds) lol... hmm.. then when we are eating, Ray is nowhere to be found... he was like MIA while we were eating... dun know where he went to... then after our meal... he came back and said he took a scroll.. lolx! Hahaha... exercise before meal eh? Hahaha..
After that, we took our first journey to the ticketing counter nearby the cinema to get our outdoor tickets that is attached with the bus tickets, a package from Genting Resort i think... hahaha
Then we started our journey in the theme park to play the seats that flew us into the air de..
Then we wanted to sit the bumper boat or the boat rides... but then me and ray was too heavy to play and the people was extremely lot!! Omg!! Hmm... in the end, me and my dear wanted to play the boat, and cindy was wearing the skirt and not able to play more games.. then she insisted that she wants to change first while we go play... ray and charmaine was waiting for us to play...
But then, after few mins, the line haven’t move at all.. me and my dear dint played d... we went back to ray and charmaine’s place and sit down a while... (and i haven’t mention... the luggages haven’t go into the apartment... its still with us) omg!!!
After sitting a while there is a shop next to the Boat Ride, we went inside and took a scroll... then there is a crossbow shot on top of that shop... first time seeing that after so many years coming up Genting Highlands...
Next stop, the Pirate Boat... we waited bout 5 rounds before our turn... then there was this girl.. wearing a very short skirt which we tot that she wasn’t wearing anything else... me and adrain also wanted to see it so badly, stood at the end of the stairs seeing her going up... but then, ai ya! Got wear shorts de wor... but she wasn’t pretty, in fact too skinny... her thighs was as big as hands... omg..
Then while we played the pirate boat, the sequence of shouting went terribly wrong...
One side that went up went shouting before coming down... and the other side was before reaching high up, the started shouting... wasn’t it supposed to be coming down only shout de? Hahaha... and the shouting from loud to very loud and then to extremely loud... NONSENSE~~
After that, we went scrolling and took many pictures... bought an icecream of chocolates... then went taking pictures from the shop that my dear took a rabbit hat and took pics to the caravan that was next to the ghost house to the waterfall that was previously the cable car, and lastly to the waterfall that we were on the way to the Dragon Ride...
At this time, the bags were heavy and my legs and hands are wobbling... lolx... cause of extreme sports and long hours of taking it... during the waiting of the ride... some hooligans cut lines and no one dare to scold them... omg... who are they? If they suddenly stand in front of me or a slight further... i’ll definitely ask them to line up... they went shooting upwards... sick idiots... then the line was extremely long... causing we all to get SUNBURN... hahaha... omg.. Genting Highlands getting Sunburn... how’s that? Hahhahaha... although its bad, but its funny... hahahaha...
Then after the ride, it was bout 1 something.. we decided to go down and check on the apartment, to see ok or not... while walking down, it seems easy... but also tired, cause of the bags... omg..!! then the employees there... talk nonsense... this la.. that la... me and my dear dint went in.. so dint know.. but then they should have let us to put our bags here and leave a deposit of money ma... then at least we wont run rite? Haiz... stupid people with idiot minds... grr... making us to walk back up to the theme park... omg!! So tiring...
I kinda forgotten what we did here... next time i will change or add on... lolx..
I think its me and my dear wanted to go sungai rejang, and the others insisted to go for the mine’s ride... hehehe... then me and my dear cant make it... then we went on the mini train ride... slow and nice... can see the whole Genting Highlands... then we also went taking pictures... we then waited for them... while they went on the corkscrew... lolx... we waited only... seeing people playing and we two are having our own sweet time... kiss kiss dear! Hehehe...
Later it started drizzling where we took the a time at the escalator to corkscrew, we had the clown to be bz for us and then made us lollipops and a flower (my dear’s request to the clown... he was so nice... made her one.. with 6 petals... lolx... ) then cindy’s lollipop become a hole in the middle... like she licked the lollipop only in the middle... lolx... hahahaha... orange de lollipop... then since my dear got a pink de... then we gave her... she became a crying baby to a happy little 3 year old kid... hahaha... jumping up and down with it... lolx!
Then we walked back to the apartment due to its adi bout 5pm and there is no rain at all... lol.. check-in and threw everything into the rooms... then flew out straight... lolx... cause inn kun and the mystery fren was coming up wot... the gang was like so happy to see them... lol..
We went back to the First World to get our dinner with another couple... dint really get both of their names... then we went Hou Mei Restaurant to eat our dinner... kiss kiss... muacks! Cause my beloved dear have 30% discount.. hahaha... then we had our dinner d...
The couples went to have a movie in the cinema and then we all have to wait for inn kun to come... he brought a girl... ray was woohoo~~!!! Hahaha... then the girl’s name was Yvonne... funny thing is she cant make it when people kept staring at her.. hahaha... nvm la... many people have many kinds of attitudes.. hahahaha...
Then after dinner... we went scrolling and have fun walking around... lolx.. while inn kun went back to the apartment to put their things.. after we scroll, we went to have scroll in a fair at Genting international Convention Centre (GICC).. there were glasses to shoes to clothes and undergarments.. my dear bought a bag for her sis, a glasses for herself, and a box of undergarments for myself... lolx..
Then we went back to the apartment, cause we walked too long and too the bags too long d... then we want to go back d... walk back down to the apartment to get some rest.. then we ate the mamee cup mee as our supper... chatted and talked and played cho d before we ended to sleep... lolx.. thats how we ended our first day... lolx..
Early morning in 6am, went to 1 Utama, waited for my dear to come..
But be4 that, i was in so pain in my tummy...
went and sneak into the 1Utama’s shopping centre...
to cure my tummy ache... went inside the shopping centre and then had my time there...
approx 8something... i waited at the bus stop... wondering whether is that the real and exact bus stop... since i dint know any details of the trip... waited for my dear...
then there was this bunch of kids... shouting and screaming like no one’s business.. as if its their house.. omg.. kept talking loud nonstop... all aunties and uncles was looking at them and then they dint even bothered... omg...
at 8 something bout to reach 9am, my dear and Cindy and Adrain came..
1st time seeing Adrain and Cindy face to face... lol...
In the end, we could only bought the 10am tickets due to their timing to board the bus was already over...
Then we (as in Cindy, Adrain, Me, My dear, Zhee Ray, and Charmaine, i think i spelled correctly) sat there and begin chatting on how are u... how’ve u been.. and many more...
However, that moment was getting to know what happened when they dint see each other...
Then we boarded the bus, at first, it looked so grand for us to go up the bus, but there was no seatings... that makes us sick... but then.. luckily, we are boarding to a bus with seating numbers.. omg.. so much better...
And then, we took off to the SkyWay Genting to go up Genting Highlands... we have rooms at Ria Apartments, but this time, its at PAHANG side, rather than SELANGOR building...
When reach the SkyWay, we rushed up to the cable car area, took our sweet time and boarded the cable cars... me and my dear was alone in the cable car.. so nice... although all had the same thing... couples together in a cable car, (although RAY and Charmaine is not couples, but they looked as if..) but then, me and my dear were the only ones who has only both of us in it and the other couples has people behind them... but anyway... its just a ride... our ride was number 17 on it... lolx..
GENTING THEME PARK
At the first step into the theme park...
Lovely, hot and delicious smell of food rushed to our noise and made us all even hungry than before and the wind, blown so cooling... before we made the way to the mcdonalds, i went to CIMB bank to get the last remaining money of mine..
Then we made our way to Mcdonalds first... because we were so hungry until my dear gastric d... cham cham for her... hmm.. then we all ordered our food... we ordered 2 burgers (Big Mac and a beef burger, the last set in Mcdonalds) lol... hmm.. then when we are eating, Ray is nowhere to be found... he was like MIA while we were eating... dun know where he went to... then after our meal... he came back and said he took a scroll.. lolx! Hahaha... exercise before meal eh? Hahaha..
After that, we took our first journey to the ticketing counter nearby the cinema to get our outdoor tickets that is attached with the bus tickets, a package from Genting Resort i think... hahaha
Then we started our journey in the theme park to play the seats that flew us into the air de..
Then we wanted to sit the bumper boat or the boat rides... but then me and ray was too heavy to play and the people was extremely lot!! Omg!! Hmm... in the end, me and my dear wanted to play the boat, and cindy was wearing the skirt and not able to play more games.. then she insisted that she wants to change first while we go play... ray and charmaine was waiting for us to play...
But then, after few mins, the line haven’t move at all.. me and my dear dint played d... we went back to ray and charmaine’s place and sit down a while... (and i haven’t mention... the luggages haven’t go into the apartment... its still with us) omg!!!
After sitting a while there is a shop next to the Boat Ride, we went inside and took a scroll... then there is a crossbow shot on top of that shop... first time seeing that after so many years coming up Genting Highlands...
Next stop, the Pirate Boat... we waited bout 5 rounds before our turn... then there was this girl.. wearing a very short skirt which we tot that she wasn’t wearing anything else... me and adrain also wanted to see it so badly, stood at the end of the stairs seeing her going up... but then, ai ya! Got wear shorts de wor... but she wasn’t pretty, in fact too skinny... her thighs was as big as hands... omg..
Then while we played the pirate boat, the sequence of shouting went terribly wrong...
One side that went up went shouting before coming down... and the other side was before reaching high up, the started shouting... wasn’t it supposed to be coming down only shout de? Hahaha... and the shouting from loud to very loud and then to extremely loud... NONSENSE~~
After that, we went scrolling and took many pictures... bought an icecream of chocolates... then went taking pictures from the shop that my dear took a rabbit hat and took pics to the caravan that was next to the ghost house to the waterfall that was previously the cable car, and lastly to the waterfall that we were on the way to the Dragon Ride...
At this time, the bags were heavy and my legs and hands are wobbling... lolx... cause of extreme sports and long hours of taking it... during the waiting of the ride... some hooligans cut lines and no one dare to scold them... omg... who are they? If they suddenly stand in front of me or a slight further... i’ll definitely ask them to line up... they went shooting upwards... sick idiots... then the line was extremely long... causing we all to get SUNBURN... hahaha... omg.. Genting Highlands getting Sunburn... how’s that? Hahhahaha... although its bad, but its funny... hahahaha...
Then after the ride, it was bout 1 something.. we decided to go down and check on the apartment, to see ok or not... while walking down, it seems easy... but also tired, cause of the bags... omg..!! then the employees there... talk nonsense... this la.. that la... me and my dear dint went in.. so dint know.. but then they should have let us to put our bags here and leave a deposit of money ma... then at least we wont run rite? Haiz... stupid people with idiot minds... grr... making us to walk back up to the theme park... omg!! So tiring...
I kinda forgotten what we did here... next time i will change or add on... lolx..
I think its me and my dear wanted to go sungai rejang, and the others insisted to go for the mine’s ride... hehehe... then me and my dear cant make it... then we went on the mini train ride... slow and nice... can see the whole Genting Highlands... then we also went taking pictures... we then waited for them... while they went on the corkscrew... lolx... we waited only... seeing people playing and we two are having our own sweet time... kiss kiss dear! Hehehe...
Later it started drizzling where we took the a time at the escalator to corkscrew, we had the clown to be bz for us and then made us lollipops and a flower (my dear’s request to the clown... he was so nice... made her one.. with 6 petals... lolx... ) then cindy’s lollipop become a hole in the middle... like she licked the lollipop only in the middle... lolx... hahahaha... orange de lollipop... then since my dear got a pink de... then we gave her... she became a crying baby to a happy little 3 year old kid... hahaha... jumping up and down with it... lolx!
Then we walked back to the apartment due to its adi bout 5pm and there is no rain at all... lol.. check-in and threw everything into the rooms... then flew out straight... lolx... cause inn kun and the mystery fren was coming up wot... the gang was like so happy to see them... lol..
We went back to the First World to get our dinner with another couple... dint really get both of their names... then we went Hou Mei Restaurant to eat our dinner... kiss kiss... muacks! Cause my beloved dear have 30% discount.. hahaha... then we had our dinner d...
The couples went to have a movie in the cinema and then we all have to wait for inn kun to come... he brought a girl... ray was woohoo~~!!! Hahaha... then the girl’s name was Yvonne... funny thing is she cant make it when people kept staring at her.. hahaha... nvm la... many people have many kinds of attitudes.. hahahaha...
Then after dinner... we went scrolling and have fun walking around... lolx.. while inn kun went back to the apartment to put their things.. after we scroll, we went to have scroll in a fair at Genting international Convention Centre (GICC).. there were glasses to shoes to clothes and undergarments.. my dear bought a bag for her sis, a glasses for herself, and a box of undergarments for myself... lolx..
Then we went back to the apartment, cause we walked too long and too the bags too long d... then we want to go back d... walk back down to the apartment to get some rest.. then we ate the mamee cup mee as our supper... chatted and talked and played cho d before we ended to sleep... lolx.. thats how we ended our first day... lolx..
Friday, August 20, 2010
9months aniversary, Dragon-I day!
This was supposed to be a blog post where i must write long time ago...
Due to the callings and notifications of my dear...
I’ve decided to write this during my working hours...
Hopefully it would not take me a very long time to write this post...
9months Anniversary at Pavilion
Started the journey to her house at 7.00pm, but in the end, went there late due to the house work and many annoying and troublesome matters...
Then arrived at 8.30pm... supposed to go to Full House at Jalan Yap Kwan Seng, Ampang and celebrate our 9month anniversary there...
When she came out of the house... woohoo!! It was so nice.... so pretty... it was red dress with black short skirt... dint see her be4 like that... looks like the little cute devil there... hahahaha
But dint make any reservations or bookings... dint know what was going to happened... hahaha
However, it turned out to be the place didnt open on Mondays... hahahaha....
Dear... faith lai de... next time we go k? Hehehe...
In the end, we decided to go to bukit bintang, pavilion and eat dinner...
Decided place was Dragon-I... it was super!!
I brought my camera along that day and we took the food that we ate...
But dint know there was some nerd sitting alone with his camera and follow us by doing it... lol!!
Why wanna follow jek? Hahaha... nothing to do meh?
Ahahaha.. then we went outside for a scroll before ending up in hartamas Baskin Robins! Dear’s favourite lo..
Had our BR rum and raisin... hahahaha... lolx... dear... ur favourite? Hahaha..
Then ended the day with kisses and pictures that are uploaded in FB...
Any chance, check there out...
Now i’m in sunway pyramid alone eating Mcdonalds and writing this blog... haiz... cham cham...
Today got to work... and working here makes me sleepy... a lot of people walking pass by... but the thing is no one buy or anything else... omg...
Make me so sleepy... so sien... omg... hmm... -.-
Due to the callings and notifications of my dear...
I’ve decided to write this during my working hours...
Hopefully it would not take me a very long time to write this post...
9months Anniversary at Pavilion
Started the journey to her house at 7.00pm, but in the end, went there late due to the house work and many annoying and troublesome matters...
Then arrived at 8.30pm... supposed to go to Full House at Jalan Yap Kwan Seng, Ampang and celebrate our 9month anniversary there...
When she came out of the house... woohoo!! It was so nice.... so pretty... it was red dress with black short skirt... dint see her be4 like that... looks like the little cute devil there... hahahaha
But dint make any reservations or bookings... dint know what was going to happened... hahaha
However, it turned out to be the place didnt open on Mondays... hahahaha....
Dear... faith lai de... next time we go k? Hehehe...
In the end, we decided to go to bukit bintang, pavilion and eat dinner...
Decided place was Dragon-I... it was super!!
I brought my camera along that day and we took the food that we ate...
But dint know there was some nerd sitting alone with his camera and follow us by doing it... lol!!
Why wanna follow jek? Hahaha... nothing to do meh?
Ahahaha.. then we went outside for a scroll before ending up in hartamas Baskin Robins! Dear’s favourite lo..
Had our BR rum and raisin... hahahaha... lolx... dear... ur favourite? Hahaha..
Then ended the day with kisses and pictures that are uploaded in FB...
Any chance, check there out...
Now i’m in sunway pyramid alone eating Mcdonalds and writing this blog... haiz... cham cham...
Today got to work... and working here makes me sleepy... a lot of people walking pass by... but the thing is no one buy or anything else... omg...
Make me so sleepy... so sien... omg... hmm... -.-
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Not an Argument but Just Understanding Between Us
Dear, u once told me to tell u anything that i dun know how to say to put into this blog rite?? this is the time...:(
Dear, i dun want to bring this back up... this whole conversation in this blog is with an anger towards someone... and a soft, low, and sad tone talking to dear... u know i wont shout to u rite?? Hmm...
This thingy have been running in my brains for a long time...
Kepts reminding me... And kept occurring to us even though we faced to ignore it...
I trust u... but did u trust me? Or give me the trust?? No... i dun feel any... that is why this came out... and u gave the feeling in me to not have trust in u...
This is because of him... him... that idiot... i’m so pissed on him right now...
I wanna know why.... even though u know there is something going to happen that night... u still wanna go for that gathering... u know that sitting in his car would come out such happening de.. i told u so... u dint listen at all... kissing on cheek is small matter?? NO... to me its not...
U knew that he is still on to u... in fact, u still want to go to the gathering and then sit his car to go...
Furthermore, u also knew that he could do anything to u... ANYTHING is POSSIBLE at that moment...
I told u so... but no words of mine is able to turn u down...
AND u still wants to go to his car and go by then...
Dear, u are not 3 year old kid anymore... u know these things could happen... but u still
want to go for it...
I was asking myself a lot of questions... did i do wrong that could lead to u on doing this to me...? i kept repeating and thinking about it... but however, i got no answer...
Dear... u also know that if u receives his calls... and go to his car... uses as a transportation... this means something... to our relationship and him... i dun know u know this or not... but this is most likely u know something a little like this... this is what
i think of.. and i got many opinions that supports my thoughts...
To him, he will get all sorts of thinking that u are giving him hope... by sitting his car, getting his help for transportation, and all other things... will lead to his stupid mind thinking and lead to many troubles that could cause our relationship to get from bad to worsening...
And when both of u are together, alone in the car, alone in the carpark, and many places alone... he is able to do almost anything to u... u also know he is a forcer... means he will get to the point to do what it takes... i assume that u told him what i told u to... but its not working... then u have to start to do something... i felt so bad right now...
In our relationship, this could get worst... kissing u on the cheek is not a small matter... u MIGHT treat it small... but i cant... remember when i told u i would slap him if i were u...?? i really meant it... why dint u?? Why still ask questions on “what u want”?? Why dun u just take the action straight away??
This makes me lose confidence and trust among our relationship... u gave me the hope on he is not going to touch u or anything else... i adviced dear d... and it happened... i told dear d... how am i to trust u??
U told me nothing would happen... and all my advices u doesn’t seem to listen or understand...
I told u everything and many possible ways of him doing it to u... i told u adi... u dint listen and in fact, ignored my advices and just leave it as it be... when u do so... its heartbreaking... u kept saying that i dun trust u...
What if my ex finds me? And then calls me out? With the addition like urs... kept calling u nonstop, kept msn nonstop, kept sms-ing u “bebe”... although its ur name... but then should he calls u phoebe like the others? What if my ex calls me ban ban?? This way u adi started to have jealousy... not i want to find all the old things to take about... not i wanna get back the old stuff and put it out... but its seems and feels the same... this extend u adi started crying... what if she kissed me on the cheek?? Gives me a lot of things that i dun wish for but i still accepts it?? And then i go out with a bunch of frens sitting her car?? Then i kept asking her for the gathering transportation?? Ignoring her and neva want to scold her?? what would it let dear think? hmm??
If this was me, would u still go along with me? Would u still trust me even though i told u its alright... nothing would happen? Would u still have the confidence that i wont get anything from her?
all of these happenings will lead to the situation that i'm having right now... this is not a fren anymore dear... its not... he is not a enemy nor a fren... he is a person for now that u must get rid of... scold him... if not... make him heart dead... if cannot... find some way... if i do it... he will turn horrible... and when this happens, u will be having frens talking bad about u... (that is what i think when u say dun mess with him or scold him or whack the shit out of him) dear.. they wont talk bad about u... they will only talk bad of me... what is the problem with that? I’m ok with it... this is considered as a protection among my gf... they'll understand... if their loved ones are being done the same way, they would also do the same....
dear... fetching u is adi is hope for him and a bad thing for us d... its over the extend d... i’m not asking u to sacrifice for me and dun go for any gatherings forever... but when he is there among ur frens... its better for u to stay away for a period of time... or else, when we are free... then we’ll go together ma... isnt this better??
its adi very bad for him to fetch you... and indeed he kissed u on the cheek...
how could i not emo??
How could i not angry or furious on him??
How could i not be so like this now??
Its same for dear... like i listed on top... what if a girl kissed me on the cheek?? Hmm??
Even i poked some girl... no matter is whoever girl... its playing... u seems to hate me d...
U dun like i do it... u jealous of me poking others... then i’ve change on this matter... i dun know how long that i could stand this... i’ll try as long as i can... but for now... its your turn... u have started it by calling him to fetch u there d... or if u dint call, he have accepted his offer on the transportation... what is this?? This is called the hope that u are giving him... u know its not... but to him... it is... and its not only once... its most of the time... when he is back... u had dinner once... and now gathering... this hurts me... when u know he is still onto u... why cant u evade for awhile among ur frens... and letting him no chance to see u or talk with u??
What reactions he is having now?? Happy and delighted?? Cause of seeing us here talking about this matter? Dear... hopes are given like this... accepting his offers and calls... u told me it wouldn’t happen anything de... he wont dare... u will block or stop it from happening... u promised and so on... but did u...?? i know its hard for u to evade him... but did u do something?? U asked him only... verbally... what u want?? What if i got kissed by another girl and i just ask...?? what she wants?? Obviously is me rite??
I might have promised u a lot of things...its all the foods, outings and other non harmful to our relationship... and in the future, i would be able to give u... but the thing is now, u seem like want to end our relationship... u disrespected in the relationship of ours by accepting the offer of his transportation and not listening to my advice... and now end up something happened... but where is the promise that dear give me?? Where is the promise that dear said nothing happened? Where is the trust that i gave dear when i told dear that he would do something?? Did dear respected my advice? Did dear listened to me?? Did dear want to listen to me?? Is there any trust here??
How am i to trust u anymore?? What if its me?? Would u trust me??
How am i to have confidence in dear anymore?? If it was me... do u trust me?? will u??
Did you respected me?? U just told me that u were going... insisted on going... and sitting his car to go... i neva felt the respect in dear... i told dear... everywhere i go... even now... i respected u... i even stopped my outings with verene... not even with ying qi... i know u are very jealous of me going with them... i respected dear’s advice... but did dear?? I dun know... i dun know how to have the trust within dear anymore... how am i to trust dear? I told u he is not a person to give hope with...
Last time was the once... went out with him on dinner... cant u say no?? Or cant u say dun wanna go?? Cant u say that u have something to do?? And the worst of the worst... cant u say u want to go home when he brought u somewhere else? What does this lead to?? This couldn’t stop me from the jealousy... i leave this behind is because that time u told me is he come to ur mom and ask... this makes me couldn’t have anything to say...
I asked u once... why is he able to bring u out at night?? And i cant... why cant i bring dear out??
U told me he was close to ur mum and family... and then nothing else... then what could i say?? I leave this to be?? Then what is our relationship then?? Frens?? Or what else?? Hmm? I really dun know how to expect this...
Even frens can have more time with you dear... and this “FREN” isn’t a guy that is good... somemore doin all kinds of things during the dinner or gathering... does this make a jealousy out of me?? OH YEAH!! Furthermore, the “fren” that dear thinks that he is... is your ex and u kept on going out with him and things happened... how am i to settle down?? How am i to not jealous?? What if its my ex kept calling me out?? Hmm? And i have seldom time to go out with u..?? can u settle down?? Hmm?
Hmm... all of dear’s actions and words on this matter neva seem to change... all of the things that u do and did... never seem to bother the things that are seriously happening among us... it hurting people dear... do u know that?? u expect people to change for u... and u think that u have change for others... but in fact is u dint change much... u kept making people change for u... and u kept hurting your loved ones like this... this makes it so heart pain...
Especially today... at the KPD lvl 2... although u dint mean it... but it felt so pain when i heard and felt it... u might see me getting it very normal... but in fact, i’m very sad... u shown no disrespect of me to the others... (although i sometimes shown disrespect (as in naughty) to dear... but it is between us and never out loud like dear did... ) dear shouted take him la... go take him... what does this mean?? I’m a product to u?? Am i really one to dear?? Am i really a substitute towards him?? Dear... i neva say this to anyone at anytime be4... go take her la..... what if i told some guy... go la.. take u... go take... although with a funny tone... but u also will be having the same way of feeling like what am i having rite now... what is the feeling that is so pain after all the incidents that u have caused and neva tend to listen to people with this talking... ?? what would u feel??
Now... he comes out again and kept bothering u... why cant u just tell him dun disturb me anymore?? Why cant u find a way?? Is it so hard?? It has taken quite long.. Just make him heart dead... making him heart dead is scolding him d... i assume that u told him even though u leaves me and then u wont be back with him... but is ur intention and tone harsh enough?? I dun think so... is not that i dun trust dear... but i ask back dear... after all these things has happened... what is me to have the trust in dear?? What is there within me to trust dear more?? How can i trust dear on this matter?? I bet u dint scold him dear... i remembered u said no one would want u to scold them... its because its scary and it would be mad... i told u i wouldn’t want to try... why dint u do it to him?? Why let it be throughout over relationship?? why dun u try and scold on him?? (this matter i have been asking...why din u scold him??)
When there is no trust, the relationship ends... i dun wanna to end... but how?? Dear is not trying ur best... ignoring his calls, msn and everything in front of me... is useless and not enuf... its because he is still like this... but then ur attitudes did made a mistake let me saw it... like a few days passed... we were sitting together... he asked u in MSN, r u tired... u replied... yea yea... how am i supposed to know or trust u that u lost all his contacts and u did ignored his callings?? How dear?? How??
If i told u i neva chat with my ex anymore... and neva talk at all... i kept ignoring her callings... but i smsed her in front of u... not long words... just “haha” will do... i think u will be emo-ing me for a few months... so.. teach me what can i do?? Forget these things are already too late for it as dear hasn’t showing any much to me... hurting me... and causing me to pain deeply in the heart of mine...
Dear... i really dun know what to tell u... how to tell u... i know u are considerate and everything nice... but this isn’t a way... u need and have to solve it... its haunting our relationship... how am i to calm down?? Dun emo?? how can i not??
Dear, u told me not to emo and dun be sad... u tell me... when u are in my shoes... if i tell u... u not emo or sad?? can u?
Like today at Solaris... i wasn’t emo on dear’s mum... i wasn’t emo on u as well... its like this... dear did not want to clarify anything on this matter to me... just let it be... it isnt over dear... i know u were tired... but could u tell me next time only talk bout it? at least i know dear is trying ur best to solve it and give an answer... but dear just treats the kissing as a small matter...
The kissing is like a pin in my heart now... how to take it out?? It pokes deeper when dear messaged me, if wanna come, dun emo... how dear?? How?? Did u ask what was i emo-ing?? It wasn’t ur mom... although i did blame ur mum sometimes... nagging and the rules that she set... i wasn’t against on her... its i just dun feel right... and i tell dear... i dint mean to blame ur mum or scold ur mum or backstab her or something... its just saying a topic about it... i neva keep that in my heart... after that i will forget about it... no matrer its ur mum or my mum... its just saying it... and then forgetting about it after awhile...
u were my partner, my heart, and my lover... and u’ll always are... but after all on top...
tell me how to be not emo?? No jealousy?? No anger?? No hatred?? No need to care??
Tell me?? can u withstand it?? Hmmm...
U asked me was there anything in the car?? I was so emo... my head looked up for a few moments because tears was adi coming down... i dun wanna let dear see my tears rolls down... i wanna to have dear all beside me 24/7... but these stuff... how?? How??
Dear....
I dun want to have anything happen to our relationship k??
I just want to have a peace and happy relationship with dear k??
I also hope that this matter will soon end... and i hope i dun need to keep remembering it??
I’m still emo... i’m still sad... and i’m still not used to these situations...
I dun know what will i do if this continues...:( hmm..
dear... i have repeatedly read this a lot of times be4 posting it here... at least 4-5 times...rephrasing and editting... i just wish dear wont be mad at me.. or emo me... or emo for the day k?? its just an understanding between us...
Dear.... i’m not mad at u k? I’m just want things to be clarified... but i just dun know how to tell dear... i just dun have the courage to tell dear these things... i wish i dint offended u or said something bad... hmm.. if i did, i’m sorry...
Dear, i dun want to bring this back up... this whole conversation in this blog is with an anger towards someone... and a soft, low, and sad tone talking to dear... u know i wont shout to u rite?? Hmm...
This thingy have been running in my brains for a long time...
Kepts reminding me... And kept occurring to us even though we faced to ignore it...
I trust u... but did u trust me? Or give me the trust?? No... i dun feel any... that is why this came out... and u gave the feeling in me to not have trust in u...
This is because of him... him... that idiot... i’m so pissed on him right now...
I wanna know why.... even though u know there is something going to happen that night... u still wanna go for that gathering... u know that sitting in his car would come out such happening de.. i told u so... u dint listen at all... kissing on cheek is small matter?? NO... to me its not...
U knew that he is still on to u... in fact, u still want to go to the gathering and then sit his car to go...
Furthermore, u also knew that he could do anything to u... ANYTHING is POSSIBLE at that moment...
I told u so... but no words of mine is able to turn u down...
AND u still wants to go to his car and go by then...
Dear, u are not 3 year old kid anymore... u know these things could happen... but u still
want to go for it...
I was asking myself a lot of questions... did i do wrong that could lead to u on doing this to me...? i kept repeating and thinking about it... but however, i got no answer...
Dear... u also know that if u receives his calls... and go to his car... uses as a transportation... this means something... to our relationship and him... i dun know u know this or not... but this is most likely u know something a little like this... this is what
i think of.. and i got many opinions that supports my thoughts...
To him, he will get all sorts of thinking that u are giving him hope... by sitting his car, getting his help for transportation, and all other things... will lead to his stupid mind thinking and lead to many troubles that could cause our relationship to get from bad to worsening...
And when both of u are together, alone in the car, alone in the carpark, and many places alone... he is able to do almost anything to u... u also know he is a forcer... means he will get to the point to do what it takes... i assume that u told him what i told u to... but its not working... then u have to start to do something... i felt so bad right now...
In our relationship, this could get worst... kissing u on the cheek is not a small matter... u MIGHT treat it small... but i cant... remember when i told u i would slap him if i were u...?? i really meant it... why dint u?? Why still ask questions on “what u want”?? Why dun u just take the action straight away??
This makes me lose confidence and trust among our relationship... u gave me the hope on he is not going to touch u or anything else... i adviced dear d... and it happened... i told dear d... how am i to trust u??
U told me nothing would happen... and all my advices u doesn’t seem to listen or understand...
I told u everything and many possible ways of him doing it to u... i told u adi... u dint listen and in fact, ignored my advices and just leave it as it be... when u do so... its heartbreaking... u kept saying that i dun trust u...
What if my ex finds me? And then calls me out? With the addition like urs... kept calling u nonstop, kept msn nonstop, kept sms-ing u “bebe”... although its ur name... but then should he calls u phoebe like the others? What if my ex calls me ban ban?? This way u adi started to have jealousy... not i want to find all the old things to take about... not i wanna get back the old stuff and put it out... but its seems and feels the same... this extend u adi started crying... what if she kissed me on the cheek?? Gives me a lot of things that i dun wish for but i still accepts it?? And then i go out with a bunch of frens sitting her car?? Then i kept asking her for the gathering transportation?? Ignoring her and neva want to scold her?? what would it let dear think? hmm??
If this was me, would u still go along with me? Would u still trust me even though i told u its alright... nothing would happen? Would u still have the confidence that i wont get anything from her?
all of these happenings will lead to the situation that i'm having right now... this is not a fren anymore dear... its not... he is not a enemy nor a fren... he is a person for now that u must get rid of... scold him... if not... make him heart dead... if cannot... find some way... if i do it... he will turn horrible... and when this happens, u will be having frens talking bad about u... (that is what i think when u say dun mess with him or scold him or whack the shit out of him) dear.. they wont talk bad about u... they will only talk bad of me... what is the problem with that? I’m ok with it... this is considered as a protection among my gf... they'll understand... if their loved ones are being done the same way, they would also do the same....
dear... fetching u is adi is hope for him and a bad thing for us d... its over the extend d... i’m not asking u to sacrifice for me and dun go for any gatherings forever... but when he is there among ur frens... its better for u to stay away for a period of time... or else, when we are free... then we’ll go together ma... isnt this better??
its adi very bad for him to fetch you... and indeed he kissed u on the cheek...
how could i not emo??
How could i not angry or furious on him??
How could i not be so like this now??
Its same for dear... like i listed on top... what if a girl kissed me on the cheek?? Hmm??
Even i poked some girl... no matter is whoever girl... its playing... u seems to hate me d...
U dun like i do it... u jealous of me poking others... then i’ve change on this matter... i dun know how long that i could stand this... i’ll try as long as i can... but for now... its your turn... u have started it by calling him to fetch u there d... or if u dint call, he have accepted his offer on the transportation... what is this?? This is called the hope that u are giving him... u know its not... but to him... it is... and its not only once... its most of the time... when he is back... u had dinner once... and now gathering... this hurts me... when u know he is still onto u... why cant u evade for awhile among ur frens... and letting him no chance to see u or talk with u??
What reactions he is having now?? Happy and delighted?? Cause of seeing us here talking about this matter? Dear... hopes are given like this... accepting his offers and calls... u told me it wouldn’t happen anything de... he wont dare... u will block or stop it from happening... u promised and so on... but did u...?? i know its hard for u to evade him... but did u do something?? U asked him only... verbally... what u want?? What if i got kissed by another girl and i just ask...?? what she wants?? Obviously is me rite??
I might have promised u a lot of things...its all the foods, outings and other non harmful to our relationship... and in the future, i would be able to give u... but the thing is now, u seem like want to end our relationship... u disrespected in the relationship of ours by accepting the offer of his transportation and not listening to my advice... and now end up something happened... but where is the promise that dear give me?? Where is the promise that dear said nothing happened? Where is the trust that i gave dear when i told dear that he would do something?? Did dear respected my advice? Did dear listened to me?? Did dear want to listen to me?? Is there any trust here??
How am i to trust u anymore?? What if its me?? Would u trust me??
How am i to have confidence in dear anymore?? If it was me... do u trust me?? will u??
Did you respected me?? U just told me that u were going... insisted on going... and sitting his car to go... i neva felt the respect in dear... i told dear... everywhere i go... even now... i respected u... i even stopped my outings with verene... not even with ying qi... i know u are very jealous of me going with them... i respected dear’s advice... but did dear?? I dun know... i dun know how to have the trust within dear anymore... how am i to trust dear? I told u he is not a person to give hope with...
Last time was the once... went out with him on dinner... cant u say no?? Or cant u say dun wanna go?? Cant u say that u have something to do?? And the worst of the worst... cant u say u want to go home when he brought u somewhere else? What does this lead to?? This couldn’t stop me from the jealousy... i leave this behind is because that time u told me is he come to ur mom and ask... this makes me couldn’t have anything to say...
I asked u once... why is he able to bring u out at night?? And i cant... why cant i bring dear out??
U told me he was close to ur mum and family... and then nothing else... then what could i say?? I leave this to be?? Then what is our relationship then?? Frens?? Or what else?? Hmm? I really dun know how to expect this...
Even frens can have more time with you dear... and this “FREN” isn’t a guy that is good... somemore doin all kinds of things during the dinner or gathering... does this make a jealousy out of me?? OH YEAH!! Furthermore, the “fren” that dear thinks that he is... is your ex and u kept on going out with him and things happened... how am i to settle down?? How am i to not jealous?? What if its my ex kept calling me out?? Hmm? And i have seldom time to go out with u..?? can u settle down?? Hmm?
Hmm... all of dear’s actions and words on this matter neva seem to change... all of the things that u do and did... never seem to bother the things that are seriously happening among us... it hurting people dear... do u know that?? u expect people to change for u... and u think that u have change for others... but in fact is u dint change much... u kept making people change for u... and u kept hurting your loved ones like this... this makes it so heart pain...
Especially today... at the KPD lvl 2... although u dint mean it... but it felt so pain when i heard and felt it... u might see me getting it very normal... but in fact, i’m very sad... u shown no disrespect of me to the others... (although i sometimes shown disrespect (as in naughty) to dear... but it is between us and never out loud like dear did... ) dear shouted take him la... go take him... what does this mean?? I’m a product to u?? Am i really one to dear?? Am i really a substitute towards him?? Dear... i neva say this to anyone at anytime be4... go take her la..... what if i told some guy... go la.. take u... go take... although with a funny tone... but u also will be having the same way of feeling like what am i having rite now... what is the feeling that is so pain after all the incidents that u have caused and neva tend to listen to people with this talking... ?? what would u feel??
Now... he comes out again and kept bothering u... why cant u just tell him dun disturb me anymore?? Why cant u find a way?? Is it so hard?? It has taken quite long.. Just make him heart dead... making him heart dead is scolding him d... i assume that u told him even though u leaves me and then u wont be back with him... but is ur intention and tone harsh enough?? I dun think so... is not that i dun trust dear... but i ask back dear... after all these things has happened... what is me to have the trust in dear?? What is there within me to trust dear more?? How can i trust dear on this matter?? I bet u dint scold him dear... i remembered u said no one would want u to scold them... its because its scary and it would be mad... i told u i wouldn’t want to try... why dint u do it to him?? Why let it be throughout over relationship?? why dun u try and scold on him?? (this matter i have been asking...why din u scold him??)
When there is no trust, the relationship ends... i dun wanna to end... but how?? Dear is not trying ur best... ignoring his calls, msn and everything in front of me... is useless and not enuf... its because he is still like this... but then ur attitudes did made a mistake let me saw it... like a few days passed... we were sitting together... he asked u in MSN, r u tired... u replied... yea yea... how am i supposed to know or trust u that u lost all his contacts and u did ignored his callings?? How dear?? How??
If i told u i neva chat with my ex anymore... and neva talk at all... i kept ignoring her callings... but i smsed her in front of u... not long words... just “haha” will do... i think u will be emo-ing me for a few months... so.. teach me what can i do?? Forget these things are already too late for it as dear hasn’t showing any much to me... hurting me... and causing me to pain deeply in the heart of mine...
Dear... i really dun know what to tell u... how to tell u... i know u are considerate and everything nice... but this isn’t a way... u need and have to solve it... its haunting our relationship... how am i to calm down?? Dun emo?? how can i not??
Dear, u told me not to emo and dun be sad... u tell me... when u are in my shoes... if i tell u... u not emo or sad?? can u?
Like today at Solaris... i wasn’t emo on dear’s mum... i wasn’t emo on u as well... its like this... dear did not want to clarify anything on this matter to me... just let it be... it isnt over dear... i know u were tired... but could u tell me next time only talk bout it? at least i know dear is trying ur best to solve it and give an answer... but dear just treats the kissing as a small matter...
The kissing is like a pin in my heart now... how to take it out?? It pokes deeper when dear messaged me, if wanna come, dun emo... how dear?? How?? Did u ask what was i emo-ing?? It wasn’t ur mom... although i did blame ur mum sometimes... nagging and the rules that she set... i wasn’t against on her... its i just dun feel right... and i tell dear... i dint mean to blame ur mum or scold ur mum or backstab her or something... its just saying a topic about it... i neva keep that in my heart... after that i will forget about it... no matrer its ur mum or my mum... its just saying it... and then forgetting about it after awhile...
u were my partner, my heart, and my lover... and u’ll always are... but after all on top...
tell me how to be not emo?? No jealousy?? No anger?? No hatred?? No need to care??
Tell me?? can u withstand it?? Hmmm...
U asked me was there anything in the car?? I was so emo... my head looked up for a few moments because tears was adi coming down... i dun wanna let dear see my tears rolls down... i wanna to have dear all beside me 24/7... but these stuff... how?? How??
Dear....
I dun want to have anything happen to our relationship k??
I just want to have a peace and happy relationship with dear k??
I also hope that this matter will soon end... and i hope i dun need to keep remembering it??
I’m still emo... i’m still sad... and i’m still not used to these situations...
I dun know what will i do if this continues...:( hmm..
dear... i have repeatedly read this a lot of times be4 posting it here... at least 4-5 times...rephrasing and editting... i just wish dear wont be mad at me.. or emo me... or emo for the day k?? its just an understanding between us...
Dear.... i’m not mad at u k? I’m just want things to be clarified... but i just dun know how to tell dear... i just dun have the courage to tell dear these things... i wish i dint offended u or said something bad... hmm.. if i did, i’m sorry...
Thursday, July 15, 2010
omg.. omg... omg...
omg... i hope that the things is going smoothly and wont happen anything serious...
as it could harm the family and other people... omg...
i hope that the results have shown it negative that is true and it wouldnt change the results...
but why the results is being worst?? why is the effects getting different??
omg... dear god... i know i'm wrong... i'm bad... i know i've been playful... i know its my fault... omg...
the effects its going to hurt my family as in my parents havent settled the debt...
and other side.. omg...
my hands are shaking as in my brain dun know how to think and move properly...
my legs are cold and numb as we speak right now... omg...
dear god... i hope that the results are negative and stays negative for now.. omg...
as it could harm the family and other people... omg...
i hope that the results have shown it negative that is true and it wouldnt change the results...
but why the results is being worst?? why is the effects getting different??
omg... dear god... i know i'm wrong... i'm bad... i know i've been playful... i know its my fault... omg...
the effects its going to hurt my family as in my parents havent settled the debt...
and other side.. omg...
my hands are shaking as in my brain dun know how to think and move properly...
my legs are cold and numb as we speak right now... omg...
dear god... i hope that the results are negative and stays negative for now.. omg...
Friday, July 2, 2010
02.07.10 one utama
the day started very early... fetch my dear from college and went back my house at 7am...
then continue sleeping together until morning 11 something...
supposed there is an alarm from my phone indicating 9.30am, but then.. off the alarm and then continue sleeping..
we were really tired for the whole week...
me for football...
but my dear... work load!! omg..
hmm.. then we went one utama... we took our tickets for the movie of triple tap..
then at first, we were to eat... but dun knw eat what... then 2 choices... Jack's Place (my house.. hahaha.. jk) or the italianies.. then we chose the italianies...
in the restaurant..
we ordered a set of appetizer and a meal...
a bruscetha (the spelling is wrong, cause i dun know how to spell it.. lol)..
and then the meal was fried red onions with a fish...
with a beautifully sourish ocean breeze.. i think.. hahaha...
overall was ok la.. not bad...
after the meal... we went to Baskin Robins... the chocolate ice cream was superb... no sugar but indeed.. very tasty... thank you dear for influencing me into baskin robins... hahaha...
the movie started at 2pm... then we went into the cinema and enjoyed the show.. and the movie has a story line from the previous movie... Double Tap..
it has leslie chung (kor kor) and some more actors la..
this time the show as little shooting.. and more talking... so it makes me more sien! hmm...
after the movie, went back to college... and ate mcdonalds... big mac... i wondering.. now i'm hungry d.. wanted to call one also.. sien..
hmm.. after the meal, we went back home...
then at night.. we wanted to have dinner...
its a reunion of my dear's frens.. at kepong...
omg.. the terrible traffic jam and house chores including my mum's dinner was the tapau which took about 30 mins.. killing times...
then rush to the place at kepong... next few doors from the Gasoline.. made me so terrible late and blur... until one of the fren's brought me to that place.. tqtq...
then arrived d... i dint ate anything.. late like mad d... omg..
ordered a chocolate ice cream...
my dear go and make me imagine the icecream into another thingy...
it looked like but its not... Poodle's fur... omg..
actually it looked like, but its not...
it nice though.. actually i think its from the same material where the 100yen used to sell.. i think there is still.. lol!
hmm.. then went back to one of the fren's house before saying goodbye to my dear...
dint went in.. just outside.. she waited for her mum to fetch her home..
i was very hungry indeed.. but in the end, dint eat... dinner was nothing except icecream.. it wasnt that i dun wanna eat.. but then the food was no no to me..
not the food isnt nice.. its just that i dun feel like eating... until this afternoon.. ate some rice... then junk food till night... then again.. ate little of the rice.. half was given to my brother.. then finished d...
went out.. watched the brillant match of Brazil and Netherlands..
the score ended of 2-1... Netherlands WON!!!
dint ate anything at all..
was under a heavy drizzle.. not rain... small droplets of rain...
under the drizzle.. with an umbrella and shisa.. imagine that.. omg..
some brazilian monkeys saw us doin it... did the same thing.. causing others cant watch the match properly...
i'm hungry.. but dun feel like eating d...
hmm.. back my home now.. writing this... wat a day... hmm..
dear..i'm sorry k? till now i still feel its my fault...
not to say its my responsibility or my task.. i know i must...
but its not my task.. i hope u know what i mean...
because its not mine.. i cant always remembering it... hmm..
i really hope u know what i mean.. no offence dear...
hmm... dear... i'm going to bed d... kiss kiss.. sweet dreams to u k?
to all people out there... Netherlands WON!! Brazil Lost!! what a WORLD CUP!
hmm.. dear... i'm really really really really sorry.......
(this one i type de.. really really sorry...)
then continue sleeping together until morning 11 something...
supposed there is an alarm from my phone indicating 9.30am, but then.. off the alarm and then continue sleeping..
we were really tired for the whole week...
me for football...
but my dear... work load!! omg..
hmm.. then we went one utama... we took our tickets for the movie of triple tap..
then at first, we were to eat... but dun knw eat what... then 2 choices... Jack's Place (my house.. hahaha.. jk) or the italianies.. then we chose the italianies...
in the restaurant..
we ordered a set of appetizer and a meal...
a bruscetha (the spelling is wrong, cause i dun know how to spell it.. lol)..
and then the meal was fried red onions with a fish...
with a beautifully sourish ocean breeze.. i think.. hahaha...
overall was ok la.. not bad...
after the meal... we went to Baskin Robins... the chocolate ice cream was superb... no sugar but indeed.. very tasty... thank you dear for influencing me into baskin robins... hahaha...
the movie started at 2pm... then we went into the cinema and enjoyed the show.. and the movie has a story line from the previous movie... Double Tap..
it has leslie chung (kor kor) and some more actors la..
this time the show as little shooting.. and more talking... so it makes me more sien! hmm...
after the movie, went back to college... and ate mcdonalds... big mac... i wondering.. now i'm hungry d.. wanted to call one also.. sien..
hmm.. after the meal, we went back home...
then at night.. we wanted to have dinner...
its a reunion of my dear's frens.. at kepong...
omg.. the terrible traffic jam and house chores including my mum's dinner was the tapau which took about 30 mins.. killing times...
then rush to the place at kepong... next few doors from the Gasoline.. made me so terrible late and blur... until one of the fren's brought me to that place.. tqtq...
then arrived d... i dint ate anything.. late like mad d... omg..
ordered a chocolate ice cream...
my dear go and make me imagine the icecream into another thingy...
it looked like but its not... Poodle's fur... omg..
actually it looked like, but its not...
it nice though.. actually i think its from the same material where the 100yen used to sell.. i think there is still.. lol!
hmm.. then went back to one of the fren's house before saying goodbye to my dear...
dint went in.. just outside.. she waited for her mum to fetch her home..
i was very hungry indeed.. but in the end, dint eat... dinner was nothing except icecream.. it wasnt that i dun wanna eat.. but then the food was no no to me..
not the food isnt nice.. its just that i dun feel like eating... until this afternoon.. ate some rice... then junk food till night... then again.. ate little of the rice.. half was given to my brother.. then finished d...
went out.. watched the brillant match of Brazil and Netherlands..
the score ended of 2-1... Netherlands WON!!!
dint ate anything at all..
was under a heavy drizzle.. not rain... small droplets of rain...
under the drizzle.. with an umbrella and shisa.. imagine that.. omg..
some brazilian monkeys saw us doin it... did the same thing.. causing others cant watch the match properly...
i'm hungry.. but dun feel like eating d...
hmm.. back my home now.. writing this... wat a day... hmm..
dear..i'm sorry k? till now i still feel its my fault...
not to say its my responsibility or my task.. i know i must...
but its not my task.. i hope u know what i mean...
because its not mine.. i cant always remembering it... hmm..
i really hope u know what i mean.. no offence dear...
hmm... dear... i'm going to bed d... kiss kiss.. sweet dreams to u k?
to all people out there... Netherlands WON!! Brazil Lost!! what a WORLD CUP!
hmm.. dear... i'm really really really really sorry.......
(this one i type de.. really really sorry...)
Thursday, June 24, 2010
21.06.10 Karak Highway
look at the flower...
just look at the sun set... nice rite?? hmm...
it was supposed to be a lovely day for me to rest...
but since there is a praying session that needs to be done at karak... well...
cause of dad's foot has hurt and needs to drive quite far road...
so i've got to go...
i wished that i dint go.. so i could rest at home... but then... haiz...
must go... dad's leg in pain...
then went to karak...
all along the way was raining... then drizzle...
then baaammm!!
thunderstrike... omg...
so hard to drive...
somemore its with the damn idiot accord... omg...
but well... i've reach there...
i dint regret of going there...
the karak highway is quite far...
but then...
i've tried a hainanese restaurant... my own surname de family...
cause of hainanese came from an only ancesstor...
so when there is a person that is a FOO, or hainanese...
we would be known to be brother's or sister's...
depending on the background and the different badge de...
their food... especially their cakes and their coffee and tea...
it was superb... so nice...
wish to eat again... hahahaha
then the praying spot...
the place was like genting 3 times...
i meant the slope... it was like nearly to a 80 degrees of slope... it was difficult for a normal automatic car...
luckily the car that we drove was a manual...
but it also caused the car hardly to move up...
omg...
after rev-ing up to 5,000 rotation...
we have reached... we were very lucky...
because there is a family that waited since morning 8am to that time...
the time was bout 5.30pm..
omg... so early till that time only can ask the prayers...
hmmm.. so cham...
we were lucky because it was time for our turn... and we came in just a few minutes... then it was our turn...
i took the liberty of walking here and there...
checking out sceneries and the site...
the place is like a fortress built up on the hill... omg... so high up...
then behind the place is a jungle sloping downwards...
but the front gate... facing the jungle in front... omg... plus with the sunseting...
omg... it was so nice... so beautiful....
and the pics are just as on top...
so beautiful.... rite??
Monday, June 21, 2010
hmmm....
dear... i tot of writing the honey star thingy here...
but the more i think of ur status now, i tend to be more sad...
there are many happenings dear...
nothing that we could do at all...
if i'm a specialist in that field, i might can help...
all i could do now is to support dear whereever dear needs me...
i wish to be in front of u and hug u till tight tight...
i also wish that i could ease ur sufferings and make it together's sufferings...
i wish the best is the problems would be lighter rather than so heavy...
hopefully everything we'll pass through together peacefully..
life is like a game...
when u want it, u dun have it...
and when u have it, u dont appreciate it...
but when u dun have it...
its time for u to appreciate it...
one of the movie has brainwashed my mind to kept this sentence in mind...
"how many 10 years do u have??"
it means a lot...
try to think...
when ur loved ones are still here, please everyone...
appreciate them before u cant and regret for ur life!!
dear... hopefully everything is ok...
u know how badly i want to be there...
u also know that how badly i wanna hug u right nw...
hopefully u could understand my feelings too...
i wanna understand ur feelings as well...
i wanna know how r u now...
although its very bad mood and emo...
but i'll bear with it...
dear... i wish to know how is the situation now...
BUT...
all the wishing is just wish...
it cant be reality....
the hopes is praying...
but the wishings will neva be true...
for instance...
goin to ur house now and hug u like mad...
coming to ur house in front of ur mum and dad with ur family and hug u...
i'm now as sad as dear...
dear maybe experiencing on ur life how worst it could be...
but looking at ur problems, and knowing ur misery...
plus can only see...
and see dear suffer...
how could i be better than dear???
i couldnt help dear at all...
i couldnt ease dear at all...
i couldnt do this and that for dear...
all i could do is see dear suffer with the problems and misery... hmmm..:(
but the more i think of ur status now, i tend to be more sad...
there are many happenings dear...
nothing that we could do at all...
if i'm a specialist in that field, i might can help...
all i could do now is to support dear whereever dear needs me...
i wish to be in front of u and hug u till tight tight...
i also wish that i could ease ur sufferings and make it together's sufferings...
i wish the best is the problems would be lighter rather than so heavy...
hopefully everything we'll pass through together peacefully..
life is like a game...
when u want it, u dun have it...
and when u have it, u dont appreciate it...
but when u dun have it...
its time for u to appreciate it...
one of the movie has brainwashed my mind to kept this sentence in mind...
"how many 10 years do u have??"
it means a lot...
try to think...
when ur loved ones are still here, please everyone...
appreciate them before u cant and regret for ur life!!
dear... hopefully everything is ok...
u know how badly i want to be there...
u also know that how badly i wanna hug u right nw...
hopefully u could understand my feelings too...
i wanna understand ur feelings as well...
i wanna know how r u now...
although its very bad mood and emo...
but i'll bear with it...
dear... i wish to know how is the situation now...
BUT...
all the wishing is just wish...
it cant be reality....
the hopes is praying...
but the wishings will neva be true...
for instance...
goin to ur house now and hug u like mad...
coming to ur house in front of ur mum and dad with ur family and hug u...
i'm now as sad as dear...
dear maybe experiencing on ur life how worst it could be...
but looking at ur problems, and knowing ur misery...
plus can only see...
and see dear suffer...
how could i be better than dear???
i couldnt help dear at all...
i couldnt ease dear at all...
i couldnt do this and that for dear...
all i could do is see dear suffer with the problems and misery... hmmm..:(
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
yesterday 15.06.2010
the day started very nice where me and my honeystar...
went for a morning breakfast at ss2...
after that breakfast... me and my dear was to attend a meeting for YEC at 10am...
so we went for the meeting...
chilling...
chatting...
relaxing...
talking...
shouting...
discussing....
as so on....
while discussing with KING on the events for the futsal competition...
he told me he saw cars being towed from KPD A...
then i was like shocked...
thinking for my car whether is it mine or not..
quickly i told my dear to go down...
in the end... YUP!!
it got towed!! omg... u freaking people!!
then KING said that he saw words on the car that was being towed... and then its silver...
funny thing is luckily he dun know that was my car... if he knows... and he dint call for it... then i'm going to shoot him... anyways... he dint know.. what to do?
hmm... i got to know that its from DBKL from KING as well...
what to do...?? luckily KING was so nice to bring me there and help me on the case...
then we went to there with the help of my mum coming to college and collect me.... :(
then reaching the place, the guy there told us to get ic photostated... then waited for awhile when we reach back... to go and take sumpah letter... omg... can say everything all together?? making us running up and down just to finished the process... gila de!! some more the guy insist on rm355 for everything...
then we say we are students lo.. this la that la...
we tot that he was so good that he so quickly dropped the payment to RM205... but then i found out that the payment could be reduced de... omg... that guy ar... the rate is actually rm355... but when the person is there, he is able to reduce to rm205... omg...
nvm.. when finished everything... went home and sleep until 7.30pm...
fetched my sis back home and went out to play basketball with the gang...
how i wish the moments will last forever... (this is not gay shit... but its friendship :P)
we had fun on playing the game... although played like mad... lost like mad... but we eventually won the last game and enjoyed the whole evening...
later we went to shisa and watched the Brazil vs North Korea... then we played cho di there as well... while waiting for the match to begin...
at first.. my cards are like so bad.... but coming to the end... my cards seem better...
there is 2 rounds of 3 tai Ds... when i got 3 Ds... and then i laughed... but it was no ordinary laugh... it was wicked but funny... its like "kekekeke" + "muahahaha" hahahaha... try to imagine la... hahaha...
laughed all night... until nonstop.. then while was going back home... the shisa guy came and kacau jason... kept scolding and joking on bad words... laughing as well... then while they we playing, the shisa topple and dropped and then the charcoal went all over jason's pants... hahaha... causing him to have 3 burned holes on the pants... hahahaha... played too much...
in the end, we watching the first half and raced back home to bath and sleep...
today headache till now(wednesday 16.06.2010, pasar malam day!!! but cannot go... haiz...:( )
worst of all... the match ended in Brazil 2-1 North Korea.. ( information given from my dear... hahaha)
went for a morning breakfast at ss2...
after that breakfast... me and my dear was to attend a meeting for YEC at 10am...
so we went for the meeting...
chilling...
chatting...
relaxing...
talking...
shouting...
discussing....
as so on....
while discussing with KING on the events for the futsal competition...
he told me he saw cars being towed from KPD A...
then i was like shocked...
thinking for my car whether is it mine or not..
quickly i told my dear to go down...
in the end... YUP!!
it got towed!! omg... u freaking people!!
then KING said that he saw words on the car that was being towed... and then its silver...
funny thing is luckily he dun know that was my car... if he knows... and he dint call for it... then i'm going to shoot him... anyways... he dint know.. what to do?
hmm... i got to know that its from DBKL from KING as well...
what to do...?? luckily KING was so nice to bring me there and help me on the case...
then we went to there with the help of my mum coming to college and collect me.... :(
then reaching the place, the guy there told us to get ic photostated... then waited for awhile when we reach back... to go and take sumpah letter... omg... can say everything all together?? making us running up and down just to finished the process... gila de!! some more the guy insist on rm355 for everything...
then we say we are students lo.. this la that la...
we tot that he was so good that he so quickly dropped the payment to RM205... but then i found out that the payment could be reduced de... omg... that guy ar... the rate is actually rm355... but when the person is there, he is able to reduce to rm205... omg...
nvm.. when finished everything... went home and sleep until 7.30pm...
fetched my sis back home and went out to play basketball with the gang...
how i wish the moments will last forever... (this is not gay shit... but its friendship :P)
we had fun on playing the game... although played like mad... lost like mad... but we eventually won the last game and enjoyed the whole evening...
later we went to shisa and watched the Brazil vs North Korea... then we played cho di there as well... while waiting for the match to begin...
at first.. my cards are like so bad.... but coming to the end... my cards seem better...
there is 2 rounds of 3 tai Ds... when i got 3 Ds... and then i laughed... but it was no ordinary laugh... it was wicked but funny... its like "kekekeke" + "muahahaha" hahahaha... try to imagine la... hahaha...
laughed all night... until nonstop.. then while was going back home... the shisa guy came and kacau jason... kept scolding and joking on bad words... laughing as well... then while they we playing, the shisa topple and dropped and then the charcoal went all over jason's pants... hahaha... causing him to have 3 burned holes on the pants... hahahaha... played too much...
in the end, we watching the first half and raced back home to bath and sleep...
today headache till now(wednesday 16.06.2010, pasar malam day!!! but cannot go... haiz...:( )
worst of all... the match ended in Brazil 2-1 North Korea.. ( information given from my dear... hahaha)
Friday, June 11, 2010
so heart sick
i really hate dis feeling right now.. i rather dun wan to feel.. at all...!
1st time ever writing blog n is 2 express my sadness.. n my angryness.. n my jealousness.. all in one~ ahh!! i feel so bad!!
i jz hate it when u type a 'muacks' 4 dat gal.. who ever izit.. joking or not~ change it if its me.. giving a kiss 2 another guy wat wil u feel?? i jz cant stand it!! i noe i get de real one.. but i din noe u really wil do it in msn.. jz so easily flirting vf another gal! argh!!
i jz dun und.. izit dat she has de onli guy friend which is u?? i tot she has de whole college of friends?? n den?? must call u?? n u can jz immediately go fetch her?? i hate de scene dat she is sitting beside u in de car.. i dun even wana look... she is a nice friend 2 me.. but sorry i cant take it!!
i tot she go ur hse on9?? her hse cant on 9 ma?? u told her wat ever u told me.. bout ur best friend n gf.. she seems to noe everything more den me~.. i dun like it!! y izit she is so special?? i really hate everything!! argh i duno wat else 2 express.. n u nicely brought her into ur room.. hello.. i oso scare of ur mum.. when ur mum is in de hall.. i m also there downstairs.. y izit u cant jz leave her downstairs.. u noe it dat i mind.. n yet u do it.. u had a choice.. it is nt dat u dun hv a choice.. u chose a choice dat knowingly dat i'll mind most..
n have her til now.. have ur dinner 2gete?? o yea.. u also jealous i had 4 hrs vf him la.. den wat bout u??hw long r u vf her?? u count n c..say u not feeling well n yet went out vf de gang.. bawa her sekali.. thank you so much 4 making me feel like dis.. I HATE IT SO MUCH!! I DUN LIKE DIS FEELING!! ARGH!!
1st time ever writing blog n is 2 express my sadness.. n my angryness.. n my jealousness.. all in one~ ahh!! i feel so bad!!
i jz hate it when u type a 'muacks' 4 dat gal.. who ever izit.. joking or not~ change it if its me.. giving a kiss 2 another guy wat wil u feel?? i jz cant stand it!! i noe i get de real one.. but i din noe u really wil do it in msn.. jz so easily flirting vf another gal! argh!!
i jz dun und.. izit dat she has de onli guy friend which is u?? i tot she has de whole college of friends?? n den?? must call u?? n u can jz immediately go fetch her?? i hate de scene dat she is sitting beside u in de car.. i dun even wana look... she is a nice friend 2 me.. but sorry i cant take it!!
i tot she go ur hse on9?? her hse cant on 9 ma?? u told her wat ever u told me.. bout ur best friend n gf.. she seems to noe everything more den me~.. i dun like it!! y izit she is so special?? i really hate everything!! argh i duno wat else 2 express.. n u nicely brought her into ur room.. hello.. i oso scare of ur mum.. when ur mum is in de hall.. i m also there downstairs.. y izit u cant jz leave her downstairs.. u noe it dat i mind.. n yet u do it.. u had a choice.. it is nt dat u dun hv a choice.. u chose a choice dat knowingly dat i'll mind most..
n have her til now.. have ur dinner 2gete?? o yea.. u also jealous i had 4 hrs vf him la.. den wat bout u??hw long r u vf her?? u count n c..say u not feeling well n yet went out vf de gang.. bawa her sekali.. thank you so much 4 making me feel like dis.. I HATE IT SO MUCH!! I DUN LIKE DIS FEELING!! ARGH!!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Crisis of 3 dilemmas...
05.06.10 Friday
Today… was my day of my 2nd exam…
It was a suffering day because yesterday dint sleep at all,
And then was sick with fever and sore throat…
At night, wrote the notes badly with sweating body and the head was like spilling water…
Two towels have been wet by me… imagine that…
After the morning exam of MKT208, Brand management
I was so happy that I could have lunch with my dear…
Went to the pet shop after the departure lounge whereby Jen wants to take his salary… which he couldn’t…
Then after that… went to eat nearby the stall…
The hours went pretty fast…
Then after sending my dear…
I felt so left out… I left my dear again sitting alone there…
When I reached home, I was supposed to sleep…
Dint sleep and went out again with Jason to ampang…
Sat until late 7.30pm… because of some riot out at the American Embassy…
Caused us to stuck in the car for an hour of traffic…
When we had dinner with my mum, and after sending Jason home…
My mum passed me a clip to listen from her phone…
Problems starts…
The argument was with my mum…
I started nice talking… but she kept shouting about the case and how miserable she is…
This la… that la… Noises…
Then when I reached home, I asked my dad about the incident and understand the situation…
My head completely went from stressed to over-stressed and headache…
Headache until pain deep within…
I dun know what to do…
Anyone out there…
Have u ever tried to have dilemma in a way which u could only see and cant do anything bout it??
Have u ever tried of have the same situation with 3 -4 situations with the same time??
Then have u ever tried of having these problems… and u are stucked in a middle of the way, dun know what or how to ease their feelings or stress??
And if they ever told u and expressed their feelings, and u couldn’t even help them to ease a bit of their stress and couldn’t share with them…??
Anyone?
I have…
I have it terribly and miserably…
Tired and not stopping… dun know where to stop… how to stop… and what makes you to stop…
One is my mother… dilemma for me dun know how to help her…
Another One is my dad… dilemma for me dun know how to help her… worst of the worst…
Lastly is my dear… dilemma for me dun know how to help her… which hurt me even more…
Dear… I’m not saying that u r not sharing the burden with me and blaming u… No No… dun misunderstand k? if u r reading this… and mostly u will…
I’m hurt because I could have used words that u think I was shouting to u…
I would even shout to dear…
I’ll never will…
I’ll never even want to break ur heart for something that is my problems to be faced…
I wish everytime that I could hug u and say sorry for causing dear to be emo…
This is not the first… I know… the more I say sorry… the more I feel guilty…
Its because I kept repeating this mistake… the same mistake that I caused dear…
I’m really really sorry…
When I see my mum, and the stress from her… it hurts me badly…. Because not only I couldn’t have done my best for her… but dint even shared her feelings as well…
And when added with my dad, only could see and not helping anything…
Not that I dun wanna help him… even himself couldn’t do anything bout it and I have no idea of it…
Then I tend to be down… very in dilemma and see how he and my mum suffers…
When added with dear… I couldn’t help myself… I wish to express all the feelings to dear on the phone asap… but thinking bout the credit is low, dad insufficient of money… and the bank money of mine is getting lesser, but adequate for me to use still… I prefer sms-ing dear…
But then, if I sms dear, the feelings couldn’t be shown by no tone of speaking… it makes dear more emo…
And when I call dear… I’ll make dear even more emo…
So I preferred to make dear less emo… (but I know I made it worst…)
Even when I went out with the gang… I was sitting down there… emo-ing without my sound coming out from my mouth…
I was so down with all the dilemmas I’m suffering…
Now is 4am and I’m writing this feelings of mine down to kept it in here so that I’ll try to make this gone soon as soon as my dad is free from the financial crisis… if not, I’m so sry dear… I’ll never stop… I’m so sry…
This is because that this is my family and I got to deal with it…
I know this is my selfishness and my stubbornness of being this idiot here… but I have no choice to bear with the things with them…
Although it will be hard for me and dear as well… but dear… I’m so sorry that u’ll have to deal with my attitude and behavior for now… I’ll try to sms u whenever I’m free of mind, or free of stress-thinking…
I know this is selfish thoughts of mine, but I’m just trying to ease dear’s mind from being emo…
If there is another way, please do tell me… I’ll accept de… I’ll try to follow too…
Other than that, I dun know what I could do… even for now… I dun even know I could carry on with my 2nd degree… but mostly is cannot d…
Although I hope so badly for the second degree, but then when times like this… I got to help the family and not pursue my dreams for the moment…
I know I shouldn’t be saying this many times… but I’m really sorry for the actions and talking to dear k? I didn’t really mean it… its because the smses have no tone to show that I’m talking to dear in a sad way…
Dear, how could I be angry with dear… no matter what dear has done, I’ll always smile to dear… and laugh with dear about the mistakes… hmmm… I hope u know what’s my feelings right now…
Dilemma in so many ways and seeing all of them suffer without helping them or comfort them or share their burden together… especially dear which I cant even see u… hug u… kiss u… and more… omg!!
I miss dear so much… I wish that I could really hug u at that moment… when I say things to dear an tell dear… its my fault… for writing something that could have caused this misunderstanding…
I know its my fault… and I’m depressed of it…
Dear… hopefully u could forgive me on that sms that misunderstood u… and hopefully u could bear with me on my behavior and attitude on my feelings…
Its already 4.10am by now… I know I’m writing too long and now I should be sleeping…
I dun really wanna repeat the things that have been done before like that IDIOT done to dear… I’ll never want to even try if I knew it….
Dilemma makes people like me down… no matter how strong is the person…. The person may be weak inside… that’s me… I may look strong, but my weak-point will always be my family and dear… I’ll always lose this to everyone…
Its because all of u are so important to me…
Today… was my day of my 2nd exam…
It was a suffering day because yesterday dint sleep at all,
And then was sick with fever and sore throat…
At night, wrote the notes badly with sweating body and the head was like spilling water…
Two towels have been wet by me… imagine that…
After the morning exam of MKT208, Brand management
I was so happy that I could have lunch with my dear…
Went to the pet shop after the departure lounge whereby Jen wants to take his salary… which he couldn’t…
Then after that… went to eat nearby the stall…
The hours went pretty fast…
Then after sending my dear…
I felt so left out… I left my dear again sitting alone there…
When I reached home, I was supposed to sleep…
Dint sleep and went out again with Jason to ampang…
Sat until late 7.30pm… because of some riot out at the American Embassy…
Caused us to stuck in the car for an hour of traffic…
When we had dinner with my mum, and after sending Jason home…
My mum passed me a clip to listen from her phone…
Problems starts…
The argument was with my mum…
I started nice talking… but she kept shouting about the case and how miserable she is…
This la… that la… Noises…
Then when I reached home, I asked my dad about the incident and understand the situation…
My head completely went from stressed to over-stressed and headache…
Headache until pain deep within…
I dun know what to do…
Anyone out there…
Have u ever tried to have dilemma in a way which u could only see and cant do anything bout it??
Have u ever tried of have the same situation with 3 -4 situations with the same time??
Then have u ever tried of having these problems… and u are stucked in a middle of the way, dun know what or how to ease their feelings or stress??
And if they ever told u and expressed their feelings, and u couldn’t even help them to ease a bit of their stress and couldn’t share with them…??
Anyone?
I have…
I have it terribly and miserably…
Tired and not stopping… dun know where to stop… how to stop… and what makes you to stop…
One is my mother… dilemma for me dun know how to help her…
Another One is my dad… dilemma for me dun know how to help her… worst of the worst…
Lastly is my dear… dilemma for me dun know how to help her… which hurt me even more…
Dear… I’m not saying that u r not sharing the burden with me and blaming u… No No… dun misunderstand k? if u r reading this… and mostly u will…
I’m hurt because I could have used words that u think I was shouting to u…
I would even shout to dear…
I’ll never will…
I’ll never even want to break ur heart for something that is my problems to be faced…
I wish everytime that I could hug u and say sorry for causing dear to be emo…
This is not the first… I know… the more I say sorry… the more I feel guilty…
Its because I kept repeating this mistake… the same mistake that I caused dear…
I’m really really sorry…
When I see my mum, and the stress from her… it hurts me badly…. Because not only I couldn’t have done my best for her… but dint even shared her feelings as well…
And when added with my dad, only could see and not helping anything…
Not that I dun wanna help him… even himself couldn’t do anything bout it and I have no idea of it…
Then I tend to be down… very in dilemma and see how he and my mum suffers…
When added with dear… I couldn’t help myself… I wish to express all the feelings to dear on the phone asap… but thinking bout the credit is low, dad insufficient of money… and the bank money of mine is getting lesser, but adequate for me to use still… I prefer sms-ing dear…
But then, if I sms dear, the feelings couldn’t be shown by no tone of speaking… it makes dear more emo…
And when I call dear… I’ll make dear even more emo…
So I preferred to make dear less emo… (but I know I made it worst…)
Even when I went out with the gang… I was sitting down there… emo-ing without my sound coming out from my mouth…
I was so down with all the dilemmas I’m suffering…
Now is 4am and I’m writing this feelings of mine down to kept it in here so that I’ll try to make this gone soon as soon as my dad is free from the financial crisis… if not, I’m so sry dear… I’ll never stop… I’m so sry…
This is because that this is my family and I got to deal with it…
I know this is my selfishness and my stubbornness of being this idiot here… but I have no choice to bear with the things with them…
Although it will be hard for me and dear as well… but dear… I’m so sorry that u’ll have to deal with my attitude and behavior for now… I’ll try to sms u whenever I’m free of mind, or free of stress-thinking…
I know this is selfish thoughts of mine, but I’m just trying to ease dear’s mind from being emo…
If there is another way, please do tell me… I’ll accept de… I’ll try to follow too…
Other than that, I dun know what I could do… even for now… I dun even know I could carry on with my 2nd degree… but mostly is cannot d…
Although I hope so badly for the second degree, but then when times like this… I got to help the family and not pursue my dreams for the moment…
I know I shouldn’t be saying this many times… but I’m really sorry for the actions and talking to dear k? I didn’t really mean it… its because the smses have no tone to show that I’m talking to dear in a sad way…
Dear, how could I be angry with dear… no matter what dear has done, I’ll always smile to dear… and laugh with dear about the mistakes… hmmm… I hope u know what’s my feelings right now…
Dilemma in so many ways and seeing all of them suffer without helping them or comfort them or share their burden together… especially dear which I cant even see u… hug u… kiss u… and more… omg!!
I miss dear so much… I wish that I could really hug u at that moment… when I say things to dear an tell dear… its my fault… for writing something that could have caused this misunderstanding…
I know its my fault… and I’m depressed of it…
Dear… hopefully u could forgive me on that sms that misunderstood u… and hopefully u could bear with me on my behavior and attitude on my feelings…
Its already 4.10am by now… I know I’m writing too long and now I should be sleeping…
I dun really wanna repeat the things that have been done before like that IDIOT done to dear… I’ll never want to even try if I knew it….
Dilemma makes people like me down… no matter how strong is the person…. The person may be weak inside… that’s me… I may look strong, but my weak-point will always be my family and dear… I’ll always lose this to everyone…
Its because all of u are so important to me…
Sunday, May 30, 2010
25.05.10 and 27.05.10
25.05.10
It was a Tuesday for this week…
I went to my dear’s house for the first time so early…
I was so happy by then…. Can see her on a Tuesday morning…
and pass to her my self-made 2 bottles of stars….
I told her she was my honey star ma…
Then I mai give her stars lo… hahahaha…
Dear…. Did u love it?? Hehehe…
After that, we went to Dr café and have our tea-time…
Coffee break…
For her, was a caramel ice blended and a mocha Ice blended for myself..
Both of us have our own lappys and then being doing our own work…
Omg.. although we were like so close… but then there was like a barrier among us…
I wish everyday we would be together.. but once a while we got to like this also ma rite??
This feeling is like u do urs and I’ll do mine… dun disturb each other…
Omg… hmm… then verene came by and chatted for awhile before she went home…
It was like so sien for her to see two honeystars together… hahaha…
(although I wanna say love birds… but then its common… so… Watever~~)
After that, we went to a mamak known as the bestari o… ate kambing, maggi goreng, roti canai, and one coke… it was so hungry for me…
The whole day only ate with my dear… wantan mee.. (bought by dear’s sis’s bf… confusing huh?) hahaha
Then bread only in the morning… dear also was hungry rite?? Hahaha
Then ended de day d… it was so fast… so fast like mad…
The time passes like only a few hours to me…
27.05.10
This day we went to one utama and watch the prince of Persia… it was interesting movie but the movie and the game was totally different…
Prince of Persia, the person wasn’t an ordinary person… he was actually origin of a prince rather than a citizen in that country itself… hahaha
Anyways… after the movie… my dear and I walk to a padini store nearby body shop in One Utama…
I insisted that I walk in with her to the fitting room… then tried the clothes and stuff… so pretty when different clothes went on with her… but she looked like a Barbie doll changing… so fast one… and then so fast the other…
The sad part is the traumas she had… omg… I know when its at night…
Dear… whatever that he had done… it’s a past… try to use me to overcome the traumas… its ok… I dun mind…
I’ve told dear adi… its very sad to hear this and I cant be at ur side to hug or kiss u… its so hurting….
I’ve also told dear… the traumas will be gone when u r with me…
So feel free to tell me k? u told me be4, anything happens.. we overcome it together k??
Ok? Next time tell me everything o… ok?? I wanna know how bad was he to u… and I’ll make sure myself wont be the same way that he is… he’s a jerk k??
Anyways… coming along… dear… people that looked at the pic in the padini store said that u looked skinny… quite good body… omg… once I realized… the pics are like below… so ngam ngam changed the looks of dear… that angle shot looks as if u r really skinny… omg… so beautiful and easily faking people… rite? Rite? Hahahahahaha… blek:P
and then right away when i reach home... i slept at the chair after 5 mins sitting there... hahahaha
It was a Tuesday for this week…
I went to my dear’s house for the first time so early…
I was so happy by then…. Can see her on a Tuesday morning…
and pass to her my self-made 2 bottles of stars….
I told her she was my honey star ma…
Then I mai give her stars lo… hahahaha…
Dear…. Did u love it?? Hehehe…
After that, we went to Dr café and have our tea-time…
Coffee break…
For her, was a caramel ice blended and a mocha Ice blended for myself..
Both of us have our own lappys and then being doing our own work…
Omg.. although we were like so close… but then there was like a barrier among us…
I wish everyday we would be together.. but once a while we got to like this also ma rite??
This feeling is like u do urs and I’ll do mine… dun disturb each other…
Omg… hmm… then verene came by and chatted for awhile before she went home…
It was like so sien for her to see two honeystars together… hahaha…
(although I wanna say love birds… but then its common… so… Watever~~)
After that, we went to a mamak known as the bestari o… ate kambing, maggi goreng, roti canai, and one coke… it was so hungry for me…
The whole day only ate with my dear… wantan mee.. (bought by dear’s sis’s bf… confusing huh?) hahaha
Then bread only in the morning… dear also was hungry rite?? Hahaha
Then ended de day d… it was so fast… so fast like mad…
The time passes like only a few hours to me…
27.05.10
This day we went to one utama and watch the prince of Persia… it was interesting movie but the movie and the game was totally different…
Prince of Persia, the person wasn’t an ordinary person… he was actually origin of a prince rather than a citizen in that country itself… hahaha
Anyways… after the movie… my dear and I walk to a padini store nearby body shop in One Utama…
I insisted that I walk in with her to the fitting room… then tried the clothes and stuff… so pretty when different clothes went on with her… but she looked like a Barbie doll changing… so fast one… and then so fast the other…
The sad part is the traumas she had… omg… I know when its at night…
Dear… whatever that he had done… it’s a past… try to use me to overcome the traumas… its ok… I dun mind…
I’ve told dear adi… its very sad to hear this and I cant be at ur side to hug or kiss u… its so hurting….
I’ve also told dear… the traumas will be gone when u r with me…
So feel free to tell me k? u told me be4, anything happens.. we overcome it together k??
Ok? Next time tell me everything o… ok?? I wanna know how bad was he to u… and I’ll make sure myself wont be the same way that he is… he’s a jerk k??
Anyways… coming along… dear… people that looked at the pic in the padini store said that u looked skinny… quite good body… omg… once I realized… the pics are like below… so ngam ngam changed the looks of dear… that angle shot looks as if u r really skinny… omg… so beautiful and easily faking people… rite? Rite? Hahahahahaha… blek:P
and then right away when i reach home... i slept at the chair after 5 mins sitting there... hahahaha
Monday, May 24, 2010
25.05.2010... this was the bothering jealousy of me...:(
25/ 05/2010
JEALOUSY OF ME!!:(
From yesterday until today I have been not sleeping and kept thinking about the same time all over again and again…
Which it makes me mad and drives me crazy…
It made me emo, sad, and depressed everytime I think of it…
It neva stops haunting me…
I wasn’t able to sleep at all…
It was so cold… depression is all over my body…
Its because my dear went out with her ex again…
He was already an idiot in life…
I told her many times to talk him out and use many ways to shoo him off…
But the thing is… she couldn’t say no to him at all..
And to everyone else.. that’s her weakness… I was able to overcome it..
But the thing is that guy was so persistent… the more he sms my dear… the more I’m angry…
And the more I’m angry… I cant release it out… the more I suffer…
The messages gives me the feelings that he kept getting hopes on my dear…
I dun wanna lose u dear… I dun want… but its giving a bad bad bad feeling and it makes me emo bout it…
The more he kept replying to him… or talk to him… the more I get depress…
I know I shouldn’t be doing this… but I’m so jealous that he could get all he want… I dint…
Dear… if u realize…
Our dinner time together was just an hour and a half… but today’s dinner for dear with him was very very long… did u realized that the time u spent with him was so long??
Everytime we go out for dinner… no matter in Korean restaurant with the gang or the steamboat in sunway, we always have to rush back home?? And I muz be accurate at all of the timing?? Why muz I be?? Why muz I be accurate??
Today, he had the time all with dear… from 8.00pm at dear’s house and until 12am..
Went to his place through the road summore… u know how that strikes me?? Its so pain… I know I’m jealous of the time… but why is it everytime is so hard for us to be together??
Other than that, why he has the privilege to bring dear to go so far?? So much time at the night… which I want to spent with dear…
All I wish is a day where there will be no problems, no misunderstandings, nothing to bother us to have a nice dinner until 12am… that’s all…
But this day seems to be no where between us…
I’m really depressed….
Other things like u know he is persistent on u… why still go out with him?? He haven’t lose the hope on dear because what I think, he still gains the hope from dear… (I might be thinking too much… but its seems true to me)
Maybe its ur mum’s idea… I dun mind u go out with him… but the thing is… could it be earlier back home?? I’m so worried that he does something to u and I’m not there to help or assist u…
All I could see will be dear getting hurt already with regretting… and I couldn’t help dear at all…
I’m so worried until I’m waiting to rush to the place at that time…
I’m sked that dear have not a chance to push him away and call me…
By that time… its like rice becum porridge d…. I’m so worried that moment will happen…
U know that guy isn’t a normal guy… he’s forceful.. he forces anything out of u…
I dint wish to write this blog dear… I neva meant to hurt anyone in here…
I dint say I dun let u to go out with ur ex… I did too… but the thing is we dun have any feelings for each other anymore and I have u adi…
The differences is… he is madly inlove with u still… which I cant stop him… and both of u goes out until late night… and made me depress more than last time dear was…
It stroked me so hard… I barely could breathe… dear knows he is deeply mad bout u… and u still went for it… maybe u dint have a choice… but why couldn’t u come home earlier?? Why dint u call him to go and fetch dear earlier??
The more the time u 2 spent together… the more I think we will be separating faster….
U know from the traumas I’ve been through… it was the same thing happened to me be4… it was so depress when I found out…
They just told me… I prefer my ex… not that u r no good… u r better than them… but I prefer them than u… they know their ex are bad, treats them no good, disrespects them in so many people… but then, they preferred a bad one rather than a good one…
They prefer to be this way… until they met with a barrier… and found out that their ex has another one… they still goes for them… rather than me… this is what I dun understand… all the same situation as dear…
Its just the same… this makes me the same feelings which I will never forget and it happens again…
Not to say that I dun let dear to contact with him… but just tell him and settle with him… make him lose hope on u first… then only talk to him back… and maybe go out to yumcha also neva mind… but the thing is now, everything is so different… he talks to u… he drives u out… brings u nearby his place… and most of all.. until so late…
And when u were home.. u said that he is trying his best not to kiss u… I was so helpless… I couldn’t stop him… I couldn’t protect u… I couldn’t do anything!! That made me so depress even more…
If I dun know bout it, and suddenly dear tells me… I’m still in a worrying situation…
But if seeing my dear walking into a trap and watching it although without seeing it live…. It makes the person more depressed and more sad… cant even do anything bout it… this makes me even more depressed and mad… all I could see is dear suffering and getting traumas more…
I dun wanna see dear in that shape… I dun wanna see dear with all kinds of trauma… I dun want…
I DUN WANT!! I just dun want… u know how is it feel like if u know what is going on with ur loved one and u are helpless to help them?? The pain is so suffering…. Cant breathe at all!!
Dear… I hope when u see this… it will remind u always…. I cant be 24/7 with u all times… I know u could take care of urself… but its limited to a girl’s abilities when confronting a guy… and they are so forceful… omg…
Why am I saying this and my tears kept falling…?? I’m so sad right now and I could see my keyboard and my floor within my specs full of tears…
I might be strong on the outer looks… happy always… playful at all times….
But inner heart of me is fragile and easily affected… gets sad and emotional always… and couldn’t accept any love mistakes or situations to happen… I’m weak in this matter… I’m totally weak… :(
I’m so WEAK…………….
All I could do is write this to dear so that we could avoid the mistakes and quarreling..
I dun want to quarrel… that’s all I care most… I sked I could have misused the temper I have on dear… which I want to prevent of it… but I’m so sad… I cant barely continue with this blogging…..its so pain… I kept putting down my glasses and wiping it so that I wont write something stupid right here…
That’s all I wanna say… I couldn’t continue…..:(
JEALOUSY OF ME!!:(
From yesterday until today I have been not sleeping and kept thinking about the same time all over again and again…
Which it makes me mad and drives me crazy…
It made me emo, sad, and depressed everytime I think of it…
It neva stops haunting me…
I wasn’t able to sleep at all…
It was so cold… depression is all over my body…
Its because my dear went out with her ex again…
He was already an idiot in life…
I told her many times to talk him out and use many ways to shoo him off…
But the thing is… she couldn’t say no to him at all..
And to everyone else.. that’s her weakness… I was able to overcome it..
But the thing is that guy was so persistent… the more he sms my dear… the more I’m angry…
And the more I’m angry… I cant release it out… the more I suffer…
The messages gives me the feelings that he kept getting hopes on my dear…
I dun wanna lose u dear… I dun want… but its giving a bad bad bad feeling and it makes me emo bout it…
The more he kept replying to him… or talk to him… the more I get depress…
I know I shouldn’t be doing this… but I’m so jealous that he could get all he want… I dint…
Dear… if u realize…
Our dinner time together was just an hour and a half… but today’s dinner for dear with him was very very long… did u realized that the time u spent with him was so long??
Everytime we go out for dinner… no matter in Korean restaurant with the gang or the steamboat in sunway, we always have to rush back home?? And I muz be accurate at all of the timing?? Why muz I be?? Why muz I be accurate??
Today, he had the time all with dear… from 8.00pm at dear’s house and until 12am..
Went to his place through the road summore… u know how that strikes me?? Its so pain… I know I’m jealous of the time… but why is it everytime is so hard for us to be together??
Other than that, why he has the privilege to bring dear to go so far?? So much time at the night… which I want to spent with dear…
All I wish is a day where there will be no problems, no misunderstandings, nothing to bother us to have a nice dinner until 12am… that’s all…
But this day seems to be no where between us…
I’m really depressed….
Other things like u know he is persistent on u… why still go out with him?? He haven’t lose the hope on dear because what I think, he still gains the hope from dear… (I might be thinking too much… but its seems true to me)
Maybe its ur mum’s idea… I dun mind u go out with him… but the thing is… could it be earlier back home?? I’m so worried that he does something to u and I’m not there to help or assist u…
All I could see will be dear getting hurt already with regretting… and I couldn’t help dear at all…
I’m so worried until I’m waiting to rush to the place at that time…
I’m sked that dear have not a chance to push him away and call me…
By that time… its like rice becum porridge d…. I’m so worried that moment will happen…
U know that guy isn’t a normal guy… he’s forceful.. he forces anything out of u…
I dint wish to write this blog dear… I neva meant to hurt anyone in here…
I dint say I dun let u to go out with ur ex… I did too… but the thing is we dun have any feelings for each other anymore and I have u adi…
The differences is… he is madly inlove with u still… which I cant stop him… and both of u goes out until late night… and made me depress more than last time dear was…
It stroked me so hard… I barely could breathe… dear knows he is deeply mad bout u… and u still went for it… maybe u dint have a choice… but why couldn’t u come home earlier?? Why dint u call him to go and fetch dear earlier??
The more the time u 2 spent together… the more I think we will be separating faster….
U know from the traumas I’ve been through… it was the same thing happened to me be4… it was so depress when I found out…
They just told me… I prefer my ex… not that u r no good… u r better than them… but I prefer them than u… they know their ex are bad, treats them no good, disrespects them in so many people… but then, they preferred a bad one rather than a good one…
They prefer to be this way… until they met with a barrier… and found out that their ex has another one… they still goes for them… rather than me… this is what I dun understand… all the same situation as dear…
Its just the same… this makes me the same feelings which I will never forget and it happens again…
Not to say that I dun let dear to contact with him… but just tell him and settle with him… make him lose hope on u first… then only talk to him back… and maybe go out to yumcha also neva mind… but the thing is now, everything is so different… he talks to u… he drives u out… brings u nearby his place… and most of all.. until so late…
And when u were home.. u said that he is trying his best not to kiss u… I was so helpless… I couldn’t stop him… I couldn’t protect u… I couldn’t do anything!! That made me so depress even more…
If I dun know bout it, and suddenly dear tells me… I’m still in a worrying situation…
But if seeing my dear walking into a trap and watching it although without seeing it live…. It makes the person more depressed and more sad… cant even do anything bout it… this makes me even more depressed and mad… all I could see is dear suffering and getting traumas more…
I dun wanna see dear in that shape… I dun wanna see dear with all kinds of trauma… I dun want…
I DUN WANT!! I just dun want… u know how is it feel like if u know what is going on with ur loved one and u are helpless to help them?? The pain is so suffering…. Cant breathe at all!!
Dear… I hope when u see this… it will remind u always…. I cant be 24/7 with u all times… I know u could take care of urself… but its limited to a girl’s abilities when confronting a guy… and they are so forceful… omg…
Why am I saying this and my tears kept falling…?? I’m so sad right now and I could see my keyboard and my floor within my specs full of tears…
I might be strong on the outer looks… happy always… playful at all times….
But inner heart of me is fragile and easily affected… gets sad and emotional always… and couldn’t accept any love mistakes or situations to happen… I’m weak in this matter… I’m totally weak… :(
I’m so WEAK…………….
All I could do is write this to dear so that we could avoid the mistakes and quarreling..
I dun want to quarrel… that’s all I care most… I sked I could have misused the temper I have on dear… which I want to prevent of it… but I’m so sad… I cant barely continue with this blogging…..its so pain… I kept putting down my glasses and wiping it so that I wont write something stupid right here…
That’s all I wanna say… I couldn’t continue…..:(
Sunday, May 16, 2010
16 MAY 2010... woohoo!!
Today, my first day at ALL IT working as a promoter at LOW YAT PLAZA….
Selling some nonsense modems with 2 types only… one with modem… one without modem.. both routers… omg… so tiring…
Stand until my heels are aching now.. omg…
But today it was nonsense… gila de… stand there and some stupid customers duo duo lan yeh… omg…
Once of the customers started the whole shit and nonsense conversation to me and it sounds like this…
Customer: hi, may I know why this modem is different from this…??
(showing the Belkin and my product that is to be sold, SMC Communications)
Me: explaining to the customer, this is expensive and bla bla bla…
Customer: then got modem or not de ar?
Me: I told u d… got modem de… both also got… its only BELKIN is more expensive…
Customer: oo… then got network card ma??
Me: giving the customer the look… this is the network thingy… not a card..
Customer: then how to use ar?
Me: explain again…
Finished the explaination.. then the customers shows that how pro he is… omg…
Customer: then got repeater ma?? This one this la.. that la.. nothing to do with the modem thingy…
Me: I neva heard before repeater wor… splitter I know la… (looking at the box and asking the colleagues working there.. they even say what is that with a 20 years experience…) GRRRR…
Customer: then u all dun have these things… I go and see better stock… giving me the lanci look because I embarrassed him in front of 3 people… (who call him start first? Blek!!:P)
After my lunch……at 4pm… he came back… again… GRRR!!!
Customer: erm, u all de modem is Atheros or Ethernet de ar?
Luckily got colleagues teach me… dun know correct or not lo.. hahaha… but I got it la… then he seems like he go and learn from a textbook and plan to shoot me… lucky me… come come… bring it on… and it goes….
Me: erm, atheros and Ethernet is different thing.. if u got network USB adapter… then it would be considered… but if u are using a laptop, then dun know… cause its build in…
Customer: then mine is desktop using atheros de wor… I sked urs don’t adapt with my super computer… cause I wasted some much money to build my computer.. (OMG!!!)
Me: then ur computer got USB adapter ma?? If dun have… u need to use cable and dun need to wireless lo…
Customer: the computer no need de… mine can work on internet without cable and USB adapter…
Me: huh??
Customer: mine is portable somemore…
OMG!! He confused himself on laptop and desktop… omg!!
Me: urs is laptop or desktop?? Computer keyboard build within the computer screen,
rite??
Customer: ya la… what u thinking?? Its called desktop ma…
Me: =____=!! Its laptop… SIR!! Haiz…
Customer: then urs is atheros or Ethernet??
Me: laptops no need to see both of this… (cause it doesn’t relate to each other…)
Customer: oh ya meh?? No wor… bla bla bla… (die also still wanna grab a hand of sand) – Cantonese translated..
Me: ok ok… that one I dun know… (acting lo… what to do??)
Customer: then ur line ok de ma?? Will disconnect de ma??
Me: that one is ur decision on ur service provider lo… nothing to do with modem de…
Customer: no wor… bla bla bla again… ( helo… modem la de!! Not service provider ar…)
Then my colleague came..
Colleague: Disconnecting is the service provider’s problem… not the modems…
Customer: no la… my service provider very good de… good service… good this… good that… NIA SING!! Good la… shit la!! (I’m sry… I’m very angry at that moment…)
Colleague: after 24 years of experiences in modems and hardwares.. I dun know that modems will disconnect your internet line de wor… and modems got atheros and Ethernet wor… got differentiate de meh?? I tot its both in the modem adi de?? (acting like a fool…)
Then the customer knows he is stupid and an idiot being played back…. He go and show his attitudes… shows his watch… lan lan ci ci... (whack u then u know... wahahah.. GRRrr...)
Customer: OMG…. My gold ROLEX… (Must be fake…) shows the time that I’m late for my plane…
Me: ok then… bye bye…
Customer: er…. This one… then give me one la… (cause lose adi ma… sure like this lo… sau pei la!!)
Me: okok… thanks!! (goodbye… so chai… hahahaha… )
Customer: haih… this product how long warranty a?? ( u need de meh?? Not got rolex meh?? Sei yeh!!)
Me: 3 years…
Customer: ok la… (if he starts again with Belkin and compares it… he is a goner… GRRRRrrrr…..)
Me: then there is the counter and there is the door… BYE!
Left him to pay and went laughing on his joke with the colleagues there… for the day!! Hahahaha…
Then had dinner with parents… have all the things… it was drizzling… hahaha… I laughing now… because…
Then went yumcha with the gang…
It started raining…. Then sms with my dear… having fun… she says its heavy that side… I was laughing… then funny thing the wind started to be so geng until tables and chairs went flying and the mamak people was covering plastic bags on the tv… then the water kept spraying into the mamak stall… causing us to be freaking freezing cold… omg!! Hahahah!!
I was like woohoo!! Woohoo!! Hahaha… genting feeling!! Hahahaha….
Then we changed our place… right after the person slip and nearly fall himself but accidently dropped the charcoal.. (because of shisa ma… ) on someone’s pants and caused a hole on it… everyone laughed… omg!! Hahahahaha…. One more nearly got burned on his so called beautiful t-shirt… haiz… then give the person a look… (helo… he said sorry and wasn’t on purpose ma… u also nothing… dun act as if u can fight him like that la… u r big… but he is bigger lo… helo!!)
Then ended the day… where still raining… ran into the car…. The car nearby was bout a quarter of tyres… causing me and ryan to get wet our legs before going in the car and Jason was left outside in the rain while tk slowly drove the car out because Jason dun wanna get his legs wet wor… ai yo.. sudah keluar run in the rain… sure wet d de la… wahahahahha!!!!
Selling some nonsense modems with 2 types only… one with modem… one without modem.. both routers… omg… so tiring…
Stand until my heels are aching now.. omg…
But today it was nonsense… gila de… stand there and some stupid customers duo duo lan yeh… omg…
Once of the customers started the whole shit and nonsense conversation to me and it sounds like this…
Customer: hi, may I know why this modem is different from this…??
(showing the Belkin and my product that is to be sold, SMC Communications)
Me: explaining to the customer, this is expensive and bla bla bla…
Customer: then got modem or not de ar?
Me: I told u d… got modem de… both also got… its only BELKIN is more expensive…
Customer: oo… then got network card ma??
Me: giving the customer the look… this is the network thingy… not a card..
Customer: then how to use ar?
Me: explain again…
Finished the explaination.. then the customers shows that how pro he is… omg…
Customer: then got repeater ma?? This one this la.. that la.. nothing to do with the modem thingy…
Me: I neva heard before repeater wor… splitter I know la… (looking at the box and asking the colleagues working there.. they even say what is that with a 20 years experience…) GRRRR…
Customer: then u all dun have these things… I go and see better stock… giving me the lanci look because I embarrassed him in front of 3 people… (who call him start first? Blek!!:P)
After my lunch……at 4pm… he came back… again… GRRR!!!
Customer: erm, u all de modem is Atheros or Ethernet de ar?
Luckily got colleagues teach me… dun know correct or not lo.. hahaha… but I got it la… then he seems like he go and learn from a textbook and plan to shoot me… lucky me… come come… bring it on… and it goes….
Me: erm, atheros and Ethernet is different thing.. if u got network USB adapter… then it would be considered… but if u are using a laptop, then dun know… cause its build in…
Customer: then mine is desktop using atheros de wor… I sked urs don’t adapt with my super computer… cause I wasted some much money to build my computer.. (OMG!!!)
Me: then ur computer got USB adapter ma?? If dun have… u need to use cable and dun need to wireless lo…
Customer: the computer no need de… mine can work on internet without cable and USB adapter…
Me: huh??
Customer: mine is portable somemore…
OMG!! He confused himself on laptop and desktop… omg!!
Me: urs is laptop or desktop?? Computer keyboard build within the computer screen,
rite??
Customer: ya la… what u thinking?? Its called desktop ma…
Me: =____=!! Its laptop… SIR!! Haiz…
Customer: then urs is atheros or Ethernet??
Me: laptops no need to see both of this… (cause it doesn’t relate to each other…)
Customer: oh ya meh?? No wor… bla bla bla… (die also still wanna grab a hand of sand) – Cantonese translated..
Me: ok ok… that one I dun know… (acting lo… what to do??)
Customer: then ur line ok de ma?? Will disconnect de ma??
Me: that one is ur decision on ur service provider lo… nothing to do with modem de…
Customer: no wor… bla bla bla again… ( helo… modem la de!! Not service provider ar…)
Then my colleague came..
Colleague: Disconnecting is the service provider’s problem… not the modems…
Customer: no la… my service provider very good de… good service… good this… good that… NIA SING!! Good la… shit la!! (I’m sry… I’m very angry at that moment…)
Colleague: after 24 years of experiences in modems and hardwares.. I dun know that modems will disconnect your internet line de wor… and modems got atheros and Ethernet wor… got differentiate de meh?? I tot its both in the modem adi de?? (acting like a fool…)
Then the customer knows he is stupid and an idiot being played back…. He go and show his attitudes… shows his watch… lan lan ci ci... (whack u then u know... wahahah.. GRRrr...)
Customer: OMG…. My gold ROLEX… (Must be fake…) shows the time that I’m late for my plane…
Me: ok then… bye bye…
Customer: er…. This one… then give me one la… (cause lose adi ma… sure like this lo… sau pei la!!)
Me: okok… thanks!! (goodbye… so chai… hahahaha… )
Customer: haih… this product how long warranty a?? ( u need de meh?? Not got rolex meh?? Sei yeh!!)
Me: 3 years…
Customer: ok la… (if he starts again with Belkin and compares it… he is a goner… GRRRRrrrr…..)
Me: then there is the counter and there is the door… BYE!
Left him to pay and went laughing on his joke with the colleagues there… for the day!! Hahahaha…
Then had dinner with parents… have all the things… it was drizzling… hahaha… I laughing now… because…
Then went yumcha with the gang…
It started raining…. Then sms with my dear… having fun… she says its heavy that side… I was laughing… then funny thing the wind started to be so geng until tables and chairs went flying and the mamak people was covering plastic bags on the tv… then the water kept spraying into the mamak stall… causing us to be freaking freezing cold… omg!! Hahahah!!
I was like woohoo!! Woohoo!! Hahaha… genting feeling!! Hahahaha….
Then we changed our place… right after the person slip and nearly fall himself but accidently dropped the charcoal.. (because of shisa ma… ) on someone’s pants and caused a hole on it… everyone laughed… omg!! Hahahahaha…. One more nearly got burned on his so called beautiful t-shirt… haiz… then give the person a look… (helo… he said sorry and wasn’t on purpose ma… u also nothing… dun act as if u can fight him like that la… u r big… but he is bigger lo… helo!!)
Then ended the day… where still raining… ran into the car…. The car nearby was bout a quarter of tyres… causing me and ryan to get wet our legs before going in the car and Jason was left outside in the rain while tk slowly drove the car out because Jason dun wanna get his legs wet wor… ai yo.. sudah keluar run in the rain… sure wet d de la… wahahahahha!!!!
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