why is always my fault?
did i do anything wrong? huh?
why is me always the fault? =(
do u know.. i have used many calm messages to sms u...
to tell u what i did... to tell u where am i...
to notify u who am i with... to let u know what i've finished...
to tell u MYSELF to U...
now i'm not angry, its just my opinion what has happened just now... i hope when u read this.. dun angry or anything bad k? calmly read this... anything i say affected u... i'm sorry... but this blog, also have sumthing about u de... i'll go straight to the point...
and before everything happens... u have slept 5 mins d, then started teaching...
i msg u hw many a? 3 msg? u just think one sorry will do?
u might think that i'm very selfish and small gas person... go ahead... i'm that small gas... why do u think i'm like that? u said i've changed... yes.. i have... because of matters that u have trained me... oh ya... i'm a pusher now rite? kept blaming u... be... think of it la... =( am i that small gas person?? i dint lo... i dint say why u dint sms me... why leh? today is sat, ur most busy day... why is there for me to angry leh? i think of ur day too...
think back la.. i just miss ur msgs by two only... or i told u i was working, then i cant sms u... then u'll be very upset la... angry la.... omg... what has happened??last time u will be very calm.. tell u that i'm bz... then u'll wait... after i fin bz... then i tired and also sms u la...same thing also ma... just put memories aside... is it i did sumthing bad be4 that? after that? i think its after that... the pics and everything rite? hmm....
just now u dint reply me the 3rd msg... did i felt angry? did i simply sms u? every 2nd message of urs if i have the time, only if i'm sleeping... i also would have got it.. and message u back... after 3rd message, one sorry and u think its ok adi? but did i say anything of it? did i mention anything to scold u bek? no lo... if u think bek.. u werent like that to me be4 lo... be.. i start to think... its not me which changed... its u... and u wan to say i'm a pusher again... so be it.. i also think that u are the one which changed... because really last time, u werent like this... i und u r tired and busy today... one sorry, i'll take it.. i know u are very tired of this too...
u can say i like to count this and count that... why? what makes me count? when i do bek... u angry vf me... i dint payback anything also... my point was so simple.. why couldnt u understand? i just call u to end ur day by ur bath, make nice nice... then have time for me... got wrong??
u werent like that... i know u will tahan and everything... but at least u tell me what were u doing... u would not reply me short message and say u was taking sumthing... sumthing? u last time would have explained it... if not, u must be bz... thats what i did bek for u... i really tot u were rushing or doing sumthing...
dont i know u are tired? dont i know u are very very tired and also sms me?? i know lo.. why? u slept for 5mins.. then u teach? and then from that very moment... u teaching ma rite? hw to rest?
but if u think properly, why did i ask u to bath? ur internal body is very hot de... cool down ma... why dun u cool down 1st? and then... i mai ask u to bath 1st lo... what did i do wrong? i call u to bath also seems i dun wan to sms u??
if i dun wan to sms u, why shud i kept replying? i can just put my phone there ma...
i was so affected after ur teaching... u say u cant go to the dinner with me...
i dun know whether u got defend for me or not... and i was sure u did... but u shud know that the robber case was not my fault also... she wanna think like this about me? then i think u shud have changed her mind ma... rite? then my impression to ur mum.. bad d lo? but nw after this blog thingy... my impression to u.. would also be no better... but for ur information, i did defend u a lot from my mum... she started to see good in u... but then... nw we like this... =(
think bout this la be... think la...
if i dun wanna sms u... why must i kept smsing u??
oh ya... rmb this... while i was writing this... u smsed me..
u say do what i requested... fin all ur work... yup i did say it...
but did u read properly?? did u every try to read what i say? u kept saying its me who change... but this time, its u....
u are always angry to me... a little bit thing, u angry... little bit more... u wanna scold... what is happening to u?? i adi say things properly lo... i adi call u do things 1st lo.. not free time only sms me lo.... if u have free time, i adi happy, cause i could call u go out anytime...
oh ya... and u say u were never doing 1 thing at a time... u say u must "multitask" everytime... i say be4 i'll understand... but nw is u dun understand from me lo....
i dint reject u... i dint say "I DUN WANT TO MESSAGE MYSELF TO U LO"
thats what u said... not me... i wasnt the one who rejected to sms u...it was u... its not i dun wan to sms... its not i kept calling u to do things... bathing hw u sms me?? hmm? call u bath and kau tim 1st also got wrong? i really dun wan the "wait a" then sorry... i bathing...
all of this, to u might be i'm pushing blames to u... but i can tell u, its not... its just my opinion...
i'm not angry of what u did... but i hope... when i call u to do sumthing u dun like or dun wan, ask me why did i do so... why are u pushing me... ,tell me what's ur reason also... calmly tell me.... ok?? i also wanna know ur reasons too... this way, i'll also do it to u as well... i will also ask u de...
like just now lo... if i call u to bath and kau tim urself... so that u could sms me ma.... but if u tired... but u still wan to sms me... ask me why lo... why call u to bath ma.... same thing goes for me... if u call me to do my work 1st, but i'm kinda free wor... i'll ask u why rite?? =)
all i think now is our communication is very bad... everything and everytime also quarrel... but, in person, i dun see what we quarrel lo... do u quarrel or angry with me when u c me? except for the kisses and hugs la... other than that, are u angry on me?? but for me.. i'm not.. i dun quarrel with u in the car or breaky ma.. right? why are we quarrelling then? nvm for all this la... this is what i need to change.. and u need to see also.... we are actually not having any problems... if we had, we would be quarreling in front of each other when we meet up lo... or is it u are just having patience in me? tell me... if u really dun wan... then i reduce the level until no more...
from now on... this is i say de... we dun quarrel k? i'll try to reduce the misunderstandings k?? i wanna try for us to stop quarrel... i hope u read this, dun get angry... save this relationship with me also k? i'll do my part... i know u have done urs... but let me do my part... hmmm...
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
PUSHER?~?
firstly i wanna say... i dint push...
secondly, i'm not a pusher...
thirdly, i'm not the one who has changed..
there is no one who changed, changes, or have been changing...
no one... its because now the environment for us both have changed...
its not me... its not also u...
there is no one...
why i say like this... its because there is an misunderstanding between us...
i dint say u wrong or i dint mean anything u are wrong...
see be...
the case of the pictures.... its me who took the pictures... i was bad,its my fault... and i tot v adi mention on this case d? hmm... but u were jealous... i just finally understand why u will jealous after last two days of argument... i dint know that the picture case means so bad to u... i understand hw u feel only after the argument... but u must tell me... we calmly sit down... then tell me... not angrily send me the message and scold me... then when the picture taking happens the 2nd time between me and pit yee... u know its my college mate... what could she do to me?? all sorts? hmm... and she posted on9... its with her blackberry... its long time really dint see each other since she was bek from ipoh and australia... so mai meet with her lo... the reason we took pics is because i have her old pics in my phone for so long... i just shown her the pics me and her only... then she say we take again to see any differences mou... then mai see lo... she say much have changed... then she posted... (i'm not making up stories... i just dun know hw to explain in the sms... its adi so long)
haiz... ai yo... u also told me... if i know its ur college mate.. i sure wont care de.... i wont be jealous that much because i know its from our college de... she is lo... my college fren... from so long... be4 i know u.... and if sumthing were to happen between me and her... omg... i wouldnt have u lo... but i dint ma... rite?? what could she do? fall in love with me? she wont de la... she wouldnt love my this kind... i know... why i know? because i know her type of boys d la... other girls i not so sure... thats why i dun have other pics... except like what u hated... (belle's pic and "baby" lo..) i really dint know anything lo...
for this "baby" thingy... i dint know at all.. if u could recall, i couldnt have the internet line like today that i've just repaid... hope to chat with u all night....
i cant see any "baby" word also lo... be, trust me la... i really dint know for this case... what u want me to do? scold her for putting "baby"?
be.. what was i trying to say was, u adi deleted my pics from ur fb d... we stated as singles d... if sum1 wrote this to me... (although i dint know.. but if i know also...) we r considered as singles ma... sum1 write to me or u... also they dint know.. u cant blame them also.. they see us as singles... i dint delete a single pic because i din wish too... but i dint know... what u mean as no turning bek... is u to forget everything about me... (we dint communicate 4that period of time... if u do like this... i'll sure think of this... same for u... if i told u no turning bek... and i deleted all ur pics... from top to toe... what will u assume? )
and also... this is not to say who's fault... in people's eyes... we are singles d... thats why i called us to be bek together... its because when we are at the eyes of people that we are singles... we would have these matters... over and over and over... then kept argue and argue... its not we changed... or i changed... or u changed... its our status has changed... thats why we are arguing like this...
and now, if i kept i saying i dint know.. u sure say.. i always i dint know la... i this la.. i that la... end up... quarreling like this again... but its true... many things we dint know is because we are not side to side... kept arguing like this has no meaning... i know my temper has to control... but this time... i'm calmly explaining what has happened...
the case of ur b'day... i know tat day was ur b'day... i know its my fault not to sms u.. neva wish u... neva wish u on the 7th too... the biggest fault is me k? i dint meant to have a credit failure and phone no battery as well... i dint mean to have this problem to happen also... i know its my fault... i know its my bad... i know its past... i know it wont happen a 22nd year old for u again... but i'm trying my best to make sure i dun forget it again... i wont forget to bring charger to charge if no battery.... i wont forget again to reload everytime near ur b'day k?? this one i'm sorry and i can promise u is because i wouldnt make ur b'day that bad ever again... and i tot there was a celebration between us for ur b'day? we could make a belated de ma... this sunday perhaps??
forgive me la be... misunderstanding happens... although we not side to side... we also can make this happen de... i'm sorry k? i'm no pusher... i dint push any fault to u.... its as if i'm saying all u bad... no be... not ur fault... i'm bad.... i'm wrong... but u also must understand, not i'm saying u are wrong again k? listen properly... read this properly... i dint push.. i dint blame u.... i'm just saying that ur temper also need to control... ur sms also need to use different words to show ur tone k? cause ur tone and ur words... gives me an impression that i'm always that forgetful... gave me the impression i'm always not having the heart to rmb ur time table... i'm sorry... i know i dint remember... but u say... "u dint rmb also, told u so many times" =.= that makes me like as if my heart is sumwhere else... at sum1 else... no be... its always and has been with u... neva change...
hmm... i dun know what that means also lo... its i'm blur? just now like u smsed me... say i blur? then i started the so called "pushing"? be.. calmly read this again... its not my fault i angry also... me dint rmb... i know its my fault for my temper... but ur smses has no tone de... if u read like this... i tot u like angrily scolding lo... summore show me faces... ok.... i know when i write like this... u also will say... i'm a pusher blaming u... then say next time u wont write the way i dun like.... u wont write this way that i dun like... u change just for this misunderstanding.... NO NO... i dun mean like this... i dun mean next time all also must be smiley faces for me... no... i just mean that if can... be urself... if can also... just say only... if i forget.. just say i forget... i forgetful... enuf lo... told u many times?? u know i forgetful... if say like this... so it makes as if i no heart de lo... i'm just asking for u to say things very calmly manner... same goes for me... no more arguing from now on k? dun listen to the phone and straight away kept blaming urself...
be... one more thing... i dun like u kept blaming urself k? i dun like u kept saying its ur fault... then in the end.. it sounds like i kept blaming... being a pusher to u.... please be... when its my fault... i calmly understand where is my fault... (i'll try to control my temper.. and really calm to understand..) but same for u... when its ur fault... then must listen to me k? anything u dun like... tell me straight away... like i dun like u and that girl together chit chat... give me time... i'll follow... rmb yuki and samantha? i did also... u say u dun like.. i din chat with them d ma... its because i treat them frens.. and i need time to so called "un-friend" them... hmm..
i'm sorry... i need to control my temper... i also need to control my sayings to u too... i just wish u everyday can sms me what u do, doing, and done... and i'll do the same... be, i rmb v have explained why i so forgetful... i rmb i told u... my head could only store 30%, if more... others i write down... i hope i could have a timetable like ur sis to tiong... i adi created my timetable for u.... to rmb all ur timings, i really need one... if i forget... and so if i dun rmb... u scold me la... ok?? then its my bad d... its not i no heart and say like u bad, u dint get me a timetable.. i shud have be more caring... get to know all ur timings.. but i really couldnt store it... when i store it... i cant rmb what i'm doing... i need to use my brain for my work and memory to rmb my work... i'm sorry.. i promise u that i will always have the timetable with me and rmb the timing to sms u... ok?
be... this time.. my fault is i dun rmb... my fault is also i sms u late... after lunch dint sms u... but misunderstandings is not caused by one person only....
u also have a little responsibility and fault to consider....
its ur tone to say people...not saying until people like no heart... its u awake, really dint sms me also lo... i rmb u always awake, dun care i doin wat.. u will sms me... @.@ i'm awake... hmm.. but today, u dint lo... then i dint know u can wake up for teaching.. because i dint know u woke up... then our anger came out again...
from small misunderstandings, to wrong timing... to bad temper of me... i'm sorry again... i know my faults... but i hope that in ur mind, next time... i'm no pusher and i hope u know there is sum of ur faults too... be... rmb... i dun push blames to people and say i'm right... i dun push all kinds of blames to u and just say u r wrong... and i'm right...
be, i dun wish to make an impression to u that i'm a pusher... its because we are singles.. and i made the decision last time... and now i wish i could make the decision so that we could be back together... u want us to stay as frens... rite? i know the decision couldnt change... i know the decision once made, couldnt be altered... doesnt it sound like a rule to u? rules cant change or altered once done?
be... all i'm asking is the 3rd chance... 1st is because of my dad's case.. i dint wan it to happen also... no money is always an issue... because i need the money just to see u... (its not i mean that everytime i c u.. must use money k?, its sumthing like this..)if i no money.. hw to drive and meet u? meet u dun need money... but my car does... no car.. i also cant c u... rmb that situation? why must i so called "ditched" u? or known to break up? if i dun see u... dun chat with u... it'll end up like this... kept arguing... that moment.. i din want us to be like this...
2nd... is because that u think i got affairs and many misunderstandings on ur b'day too.. there isnt a point for me to say d... u think i got affairs.. means u dun trust me... (be... i know u trust me.. its not i want to bring this issue again... but just assume the other way around... i ask why is there so many brothers of urs? and then many gorgor stuff and talkings... i dun like hw they sounded too..... it sounds like u having affairs also lo... rite? no ma... its because i trust u... thats why i dun bring this matter to u...) thats why i kept saying u dun trust me... i know taking pics with girls.. is my fault.. but "baby", "miss me a?" and others is not i flirt or anything to get that kind of message in fb... but think once more... its us not being into the relationship, we are singles, and u deleted all pics of me and u... there isnt any connection between us... so people write like that, there is no wrong... next, its u dun trust me... u could have asked why she call u baby or missed me? not start shooting me by "omg... hw i can take this... hw i can tahan this thingy..? baby???" no be... listen and read carefully... i dint know anything lo.. i know u will be pissed and angry... but for myside... i really dun know a single thingy of that message that is sent to my fb profile also... this is why i kept saying u dun trust me... and kept giving u the impression i'm a pusher lo... kept blaming u... hmmm... i know its my fault to take pics vf her... but it was way be4 the baby was said... i was going to ask u... hw is her looks.. then delete d... from the working pics... u could c that i have no credit at 1st.. then left a bit of battery... then take pics.. one place after another... take one pic.. then work.. then waiting... then take.. then work.. i know its my fault.. i shud have find a phone to contact u but not taking pics.. my fault... i know i started this bad impression to u... dint do as a bf shud do... but what i think is u shudnt kept shooting... people also dun know... hmm.. neva mind la... (my sayings for this incident is long adi... dun wanna kept it so long.. its past d... and its long because this is the case of us for the 2nd time...)
my meaning of there is no wrong or right is because v both also got wrong... i'm wrong... and u are wrong too... usually its like this, both wrong only misunderstandings happens...
again... lastly... i'm no pusher and i'm sorry.... hope u understand what am i going through... and i'll try to change k? write in here if u want to reply on what was ur situation... i'll understand and try to adapt.. (but mostly i adi know d... because u have said to me and i've stated on top...)and i really really hope... u could be my gf once more.. i dun want all kinds of u like and i like d... i also dun like to type that d... i'm sorry i started typing it first k? (dun care who type 1st, but its my fault too k? to fire bek like that... hmmm, sorry..) i just really wish the days of us being together happens again... i really really hope u could be my gf once more...hmmm... i dun wan to wait no more... the more v wait.. the more v hate each other... why? its because of all these misunderstandings... be, be my gf once more k? leave this all behind k? we start a new one... forget the pain.. rmb the experiences.. dun commit again mai can lo? i'll try de... give me one more chance can ma?
secondly, i'm not a pusher...
thirdly, i'm not the one who has changed..
there is no one who changed, changes, or have been changing...
no one... its because now the environment for us both have changed...
its not me... its not also u...
there is no one...
why i say like this... its because there is an misunderstanding between us...
i dint say u wrong or i dint mean anything u are wrong...
see be...
the case of the pictures.... its me who took the pictures... i was bad,its my fault... and i tot v adi mention on this case d? hmm... but u were jealous... i just finally understand why u will jealous after last two days of argument... i dint know that the picture case means so bad to u... i understand hw u feel only after the argument... but u must tell me... we calmly sit down... then tell me... not angrily send me the message and scold me... then when the picture taking happens the 2nd time between me and pit yee... u know its my college mate... what could she do to me?? all sorts? hmm... and she posted on9... its with her blackberry... its long time really dint see each other since she was bek from ipoh and australia... so mai meet with her lo... the reason we took pics is because i have her old pics in my phone for so long... i just shown her the pics me and her only... then she say we take again to see any differences mou... then mai see lo... she say much have changed... then she posted... (i'm not making up stories... i just dun know hw to explain in the sms... its adi so long)
haiz... ai yo... u also told me... if i know its ur college mate.. i sure wont care de.... i wont be jealous that much because i know its from our college de... she is lo... my college fren... from so long... be4 i know u.... and if sumthing were to happen between me and her... omg... i wouldnt have u lo... but i dint ma... rite?? what could she do? fall in love with me? she wont de la... she wouldnt love my this kind... i know... why i know? because i know her type of boys d la... other girls i not so sure... thats why i dun have other pics... except like what u hated... (belle's pic and "baby" lo..) i really dint know anything lo...
for this "baby" thingy... i dint know at all.. if u could recall, i couldnt have the internet line like today that i've just repaid... hope to chat with u all night....
i cant see any "baby" word also lo... be, trust me la... i really dint know for this case... what u want me to do? scold her for putting "baby"?
be.. what was i trying to say was, u adi deleted my pics from ur fb d... we stated as singles d... if sum1 wrote this to me... (although i dint know.. but if i know also...) we r considered as singles ma... sum1 write to me or u... also they dint know.. u cant blame them also.. they see us as singles... i dint delete a single pic because i din wish too... but i dint know... what u mean as no turning bek... is u to forget everything about me... (we dint communicate 4that period of time... if u do like this... i'll sure think of this... same for u... if i told u no turning bek... and i deleted all ur pics... from top to toe... what will u assume? )
and also... this is not to say who's fault... in people's eyes... we are singles d... thats why i called us to be bek together... its because when we are at the eyes of people that we are singles... we would have these matters... over and over and over... then kept argue and argue... its not we changed... or i changed... or u changed... its our status has changed... thats why we are arguing like this...
and now, if i kept i saying i dint know.. u sure say.. i always i dint know la... i this la.. i that la... end up... quarreling like this again... but its true... many things we dint know is because we are not side to side... kept arguing like this has no meaning... i know my temper has to control... but this time... i'm calmly explaining what has happened...
the case of ur b'day... i know tat day was ur b'day... i know its my fault not to sms u.. neva wish u... neva wish u on the 7th too... the biggest fault is me k? i dint meant to have a credit failure and phone no battery as well... i dint mean to have this problem to happen also... i know its my fault... i know its my bad... i know its past... i know it wont happen a 22nd year old for u again... but i'm trying my best to make sure i dun forget it again... i wont forget to bring charger to charge if no battery.... i wont forget again to reload everytime near ur b'day k?? this one i'm sorry and i can promise u is because i wouldnt make ur b'day that bad ever again... and i tot there was a celebration between us for ur b'day? we could make a belated de ma... this sunday perhaps??
forgive me la be... misunderstanding happens... although we not side to side... we also can make this happen de... i'm sorry k? i'm no pusher... i dint push any fault to u.... its as if i'm saying all u bad... no be... not ur fault... i'm bad.... i'm wrong... but u also must understand, not i'm saying u are wrong again k? listen properly... read this properly... i dint push.. i dint blame u.... i'm just saying that ur temper also need to control... ur sms also need to use different words to show ur tone k? cause ur tone and ur words... gives me an impression that i'm always that forgetful... gave me the impression i'm always not having the heart to rmb ur time table... i'm sorry... i know i dint remember... but u say... "u dint rmb also, told u so many times" =.= that makes me like as if my heart is sumwhere else... at sum1 else... no be... its always and has been with u... neva change...
hmm... i dun know what that means also lo... its i'm blur? just now like u smsed me... say i blur? then i started the so called "pushing"? be.. calmly read this again... its not my fault i angry also... me dint rmb... i know its my fault for my temper... but ur smses has no tone de... if u read like this... i tot u like angrily scolding lo... summore show me faces... ok.... i know when i write like this... u also will say... i'm a pusher blaming u... then say next time u wont write the way i dun like.... u wont write this way that i dun like... u change just for this misunderstanding.... NO NO... i dun mean like this... i dun mean next time all also must be smiley faces for me... no... i just mean that if can... be urself... if can also... just say only... if i forget.. just say i forget... i forgetful... enuf lo... told u many times?? u know i forgetful... if say like this... so it makes as if i no heart de lo... i'm just asking for u to say things very calmly manner... same goes for me... no more arguing from now on k? dun listen to the phone and straight away kept blaming urself...
be... one more thing... i dun like u kept blaming urself k? i dun like u kept saying its ur fault... then in the end.. it sounds like i kept blaming... being a pusher to u.... please be... when its my fault... i calmly understand where is my fault... (i'll try to control my temper.. and really calm to understand..) but same for u... when its ur fault... then must listen to me k? anything u dun like... tell me straight away... like i dun like u and that girl together chit chat... give me time... i'll follow... rmb yuki and samantha? i did also... u say u dun like.. i din chat with them d ma... its because i treat them frens.. and i need time to so called "un-friend" them... hmm..
i'm sorry... i need to control my temper... i also need to control my sayings to u too... i just wish u everyday can sms me what u do, doing, and done... and i'll do the same... be, i rmb v have explained why i so forgetful... i rmb i told u... my head could only store 30%, if more... others i write down... i hope i could have a timetable like ur sis to tiong... i adi created my timetable for u.... to rmb all ur timings, i really need one... if i forget... and so if i dun rmb... u scold me la... ok?? then its my bad d... its not i no heart and say like u bad, u dint get me a timetable.. i shud have be more caring... get to know all ur timings.. but i really couldnt store it... when i store it... i cant rmb what i'm doing... i need to use my brain for my work and memory to rmb my work... i'm sorry.. i promise u that i will always have the timetable with me and rmb the timing to sms u... ok?
be... this time.. my fault is i dun rmb... my fault is also i sms u late... after lunch dint sms u... but misunderstandings is not caused by one person only....
u also have a little responsibility and fault to consider....
its ur tone to say people...not saying until people like no heart... its u awake, really dint sms me also lo... i rmb u always awake, dun care i doin wat.. u will sms me... @.@ i'm awake... hmm.. but today, u dint lo... then i dint know u can wake up for teaching.. because i dint know u woke up... then our anger came out again...
from small misunderstandings, to wrong timing... to bad temper of me... i'm sorry again... i know my faults... but i hope that in ur mind, next time... i'm no pusher and i hope u know there is sum of ur faults too... be... rmb... i dun push blames to people and say i'm right... i dun push all kinds of blames to u and just say u r wrong... and i'm right...
be, i dun wish to make an impression to u that i'm a pusher... its because we are singles.. and i made the decision last time... and now i wish i could make the decision so that we could be back together... u want us to stay as frens... rite? i know the decision couldnt change... i know the decision once made, couldnt be altered... doesnt it sound like a rule to u? rules cant change or altered once done?
be... all i'm asking is the 3rd chance... 1st is because of my dad's case.. i dint wan it to happen also... no money is always an issue... because i need the money just to see u... (its not i mean that everytime i c u.. must use money k?, its sumthing like this..)if i no money.. hw to drive and meet u? meet u dun need money... but my car does... no car.. i also cant c u... rmb that situation? why must i so called "ditched" u? or known to break up? if i dun see u... dun chat with u... it'll end up like this... kept arguing... that moment.. i din want us to be like this...
2nd... is because that u think i got affairs and many misunderstandings on ur b'day too.. there isnt a point for me to say d... u think i got affairs.. means u dun trust me... (be... i know u trust me.. its not i want to bring this issue again... but just assume the other way around... i ask why is there so many brothers of urs? and then many gorgor stuff and talkings... i dun like hw they sounded too..... it sounds like u having affairs also lo... rite? no ma... its because i trust u... thats why i dun bring this matter to u...) thats why i kept saying u dun trust me... i know taking pics with girls.. is my fault.. but "baby", "miss me a?" and others is not i flirt or anything to get that kind of message in fb... but think once more... its us not being into the relationship, we are singles, and u deleted all pics of me and u... there isnt any connection between us... so people write like that, there is no wrong... next, its u dun trust me... u could have asked why she call u baby or missed me? not start shooting me by "omg... hw i can take this... hw i can tahan this thingy..? baby???" no be... listen and read carefully... i dint know anything lo.. i know u will be pissed and angry... but for myside... i really dun know a single thingy of that message that is sent to my fb profile also... this is why i kept saying u dun trust me... and kept giving u the impression i'm a pusher lo... kept blaming u... hmmm... i know its my fault to take pics vf her... but it was way be4 the baby was said... i was going to ask u... hw is her looks.. then delete d... from the working pics... u could c that i have no credit at 1st.. then left a bit of battery... then take pics.. one place after another... take one pic.. then work.. then waiting... then take.. then work.. i know its my fault.. i shud have find a phone to contact u but not taking pics.. my fault... i know i started this bad impression to u... dint do as a bf shud do... but what i think is u shudnt kept shooting... people also dun know... hmm.. neva mind la... (my sayings for this incident is long adi... dun wanna kept it so long.. its past d... and its long because this is the case of us for the 2nd time...)
my meaning of there is no wrong or right is because v both also got wrong... i'm wrong... and u are wrong too... usually its like this, both wrong only misunderstandings happens...
again... lastly... i'm no pusher and i'm sorry.... hope u understand what am i going through... and i'll try to change k? write in here if u want to reply on what was ur situation... i'll understand and try to adapt.. (but mostly i adi know d... because u have said to me and i've stated on top...)and i really really hope... u could be my gf once more.. i dun want all kinds of u like and i like d... i also dun like to type that d... i'm sorry i started typing it first k? (dun care who type 1st, but its my fault too k? to fire bek like that... hmmm, sorry..) i just really wish the days of us being together happens again... i really really hope u could be my gf once more...hmmm... i dun wan to wait no more... the more v wait.. the more v hate each other... why? its because of all these misunderstandings... be, be my gf once more k? leave this all behind k? we start a new one... forget the pain.. rmb the experiences.. dun commit again mai can lo? i'll try de... give me one more chance can ma?
Monday, December 6, 2010
5th December 2010
5th December 2010
It is also hard and sad for me to see the next update on the blog is this….
Dear.. u can call me ur dear anytime and anywhere u want to…
Cause it is also so hard for me to change the calling suddenly… I felt awkward from the minute we ended; hard for me to change my callings to u… especially I was in the bus going to mainblock to get the car… hmmm…
I love you too dear… I also really do… dear… I also dun wish to have a break up… this small matter can make us separate… I also dun want to… if only I could have the button, trigger, or switch to change this decision or not to breakup… dear, although its love that we have… but then I’m not saying I’m giving up on sustaining the relationship… it is just the problem that I’m having that causes us separate… I know I’m selfish… but I can’t do anything to help it… I’m sorry… I wish to do sumthing of it… but so many days of thinking… how do we overcome this matter… the ways… the solutions… cant make any difference… hmm… I also want to share with u… so everything that I told u… is everything more than I told my buddies… everything is to tell u what am I running through… tell u what have I been through… and update u with my current situation.. dear… I want u to be beside me as well.. but then… I just dun know the way we could stay together… I really out of my mind…
One week once to meet each other? Hmm… because u r my loved one, so I wish to give u all my time and no time to separate us… but then… one day… isn’t much enuf for me too… not only for u… hmm.. I just dun know how to be a good bf… I really dun know how to give u the right happiness that u want… I’m just not the best… always there are major problems… issues… this … that… making us so hard to be together… hmm… that is why I told dear to find another guy than me… although I dun like it… I dun want any guy to touch u… I dun want any guy to kiss u or hug u… but I have no chance to make this decision or choice adi… I cant stop anyone to touch dear anymore… I cant stop any guy to come near u anymore… I’m not given the chance at all adi also… cause I dun even know I could take care of myself or not… and my family issues… hmm… caused us to separate… so I cant do anything for dear anymore… make decisions for u… create solutions for u…. we need to be apart… dear… I know… if u want to find a guy… it would be easy for u… just snap, sure got d… I just hope u could find a better guy than me in future… no problems, issues, matters or anything… hmm… dear… u told me before that how I looked during the first day when we are together… u told me also that how u loved my looks… I rmb… I also rmb how I kissed dear in the class… it was Thursday… after a movie… then we started since then… now it becomes from “memories of us…” to “passed sweet memories of us…” hmm…
just now u were messaging me tell me the purple pendant is broken… cant mend or repair it back… it seems to be like our heart too… once broken… cant mend back… I know dear is having heart pain worst than me… heart pain like stabbed by a knife… can’t take out the knife… dun know how to take out… bleeding badly… pain… I know how it feels… but I also dun know how to make it less pain or no pain at all… although I know its my problem… but I just dun know how to mend or repair myself or to make ur pain to be lesser… in fact, I made dear more sad… I know dear more san fu than me… hmm… I dun know how to tell dear also on the breaking up… I’m so confused… I also knew that u know what I am bout to say d… I know this… but then… I dun know how to open the topic to dear… dun know how to start at all… dun know how to open my mouth too… cause I dun wish to end so fast too… I dun wish to open this topic to dear at all… I dun wish to…
Dear… I’m sorry for having u to break up with me after 1 year… I wish to be longer… I dun wish to have u sit alone the Dr Café alone… I know u dun like to alone… same as me… I also dun like to be alone… dun like the feeling of alone…
Now having little messages between us for the past 2 days… its because I’m missing dear’s messages too… the caring and lovely messages… the happy and supporting messages… I’m missing that too… I miss the days with u at Dr café drinking coffee… sitting at the corner… hugging u to have the coffee… or being together to sit there and do our stuff… waiting for u at the place… going to the cold air-cond toilet… going a walk at solaris… going to sushi king… going to cold storage… going to the toilet… at the carpark too… dear… I know all of this… money cant buy… its all our happiness together… I dun want this breakup to happen too… but do I have a choice? I’m not sure I have…
I also dun know why… this is like our separation letter or blog post… which I hardly could write much…but I know I’m writing a lot de… I also dun know what to say d… its just following dear’s messages and sentences in the blog, explaining how am I without dear… how bad am I that I dun have dear… how regretted am i… how pain am I making this decision… how my tears coming down… hmm… I know dear would be few times worst than me… I’m so sry!!~~
my tears also coming out nonstop while I’m writing this in my room… I really have no mood to go out… I also dun know what to do at home… wondering at home… no mood to even go out for dinner… dear… I haven’t been eating dinner for 2 days… ate little for lunch… non for breaky at all… morning till night… just 1 small meal… like half a bowl of rice… for the whole day… parents ask y d… I just told dem… no appetite… I’m sorry dear… I lied to dear again… I just dun want dear to worry bout me… (although I know u will worry… but its adi past d, so u will worry less by today… hope that u wont worry so much of me… I’ll take care myself… so must u k?=( ) Now like dear… my tears is automatically coming out… I’m so sad… why my dad… why this… why… why… why……..!!! hmmm…. I feel like screaming…!! Hmm… my heart is so pain right now… I just dun knw why I need to make this decision!! Jason say I got the choice… what choice do I have? Why it have to be me?? Whyyyyyy…..:( my heart now is broken and so pain…. Like last time… I just dun want another few months to be like this… I want dear to see me smiling… laughing… happy look… not like now…
Dear… there is also many things I WILL DEFINITELY rmb bout u… u wont be erased in my mind… ur pictures… ur looks… ur dresses… ur clothes… ur smell… our trips… our outings… our pictures together… I miss ur face… I miss ur shiny and nice smell de hair… how u every time told me… how nice is it… I seem to ignore… in fact, its I LOVE it… the smell is so nice on dear…. but now I really missed it… I missed it…. Really bad… I need to smell dear from far… cant simply play with it anymore… cant simply touch the silky hair anymore… i miss u massage my back for me… sit on my lap… lie on me… hug me… kiss me… I miss u so much… I’m bitting my teeth to write this… tears kept coming out… I miss the smiles on dear… how I could tickle dear… how I made dear smile… how I made dear felt so happy…. But now… I felt so bad… making this decision… my tears wont stop coming out…
Dear… I dun want to cry in the classroom because I want to stay a good look for dear to rmb… since now u cant see me… tears kept rolling like water tap… my specs is filling with my tears… I really dun wish I made this decision…
Actually I cried in the car while going back… then run into my room after bkb and continued… I dun dare to come out… just bath and then think of dear… then sit on my bed and then tears came out… I miss the days of u on my bed…. my eyes is this first time so swollen… this morning till now… only Jason and TK saw my eyes swollen when we are out awhile… they dint ask anything… they know… how bad am I…. how awful bf I could be…. And how sad am i… but compared me to dear… dear would be more sad… more heart pain… after that, straight away went home and straight into my room… walkabout in the house when parents are out…
Then while on9 outside, I saw my FB status is only “in a relationship…” I dint know dear changed it so fast… I’m so sad to see that… I dint wish to see that on my profile… my profile pic remains the same… I dun feel like changing it so fast or even changing it… do we really need to clear out the situation so fast? Hmmm… I really missed that moment in SUNWAY…. I hug u till the end… whole day together….:(
dear..i love u sitting in my CLK.. dear… u still got the chance 2 sit in dat.. but I just think it wouldn’t be the same feeling… couldn’t hold ur hand… couldn’t kiss u when coming in the car or going out of the car… dear… I really like it when u rmb all the things that I’ve said… although u seem to fu yan me… but I know u’ll rmb everything what I say… I really appreciate what u’ve said too… I’m grateful to have u as my gf… I’m so happy when u firstly accepted me… but I dint know we cant make it through next year… I really felt that I’m no use… for so little problem… not even my problem… i cant fix it… dear… although u like to see how I drive… but then… I love the most is when I hold ur hand and drive… it feels like although the car is breaking off, but we wont be leaving each other…. And the best but dangerous is… I’m hugging dear… dear lying on me… and I’m driving the car… it felt so short time at that moment on the way back from One utama to college… but then I LOVE it… and started to missed it adi… cause we couldn’t do this anymore… I was like thinking before this when we could do that again? When can we do that on a long straight road…? So I could hug dear long enuf and dear lie on me and sleep… but now…. We cant do it anymore d… hmm… just for one small matter of my family… my tears now coming out even more… causing me to stop and continue… stop to wipe my tears… and then continue typing… dear… if I have a choice… I wouldn’t have chosen this path… I dun like this way or decision….:( if I could only do sumthing…..
dear… I was waiting for sumthing for so long as dear I think u are as well… its dear seeing me playing basketball…. While slowly changing my clothes for the basketball time… I recalled I always message u as soon as when I arrived… I always waited some of my time…to message dear and waiting for ur replies… but then… last Friday… I dint get to message dear or get messages from dear… its gone d… while playing bkb… there were no messaging between us… making me no mood to play… played until very bad… and many of the phones kept ringing… its not my phone… its not my ringtone… it was others phones… not mine… not a single message between us… not a miss call even… nothing… usually there would be messages from dear saying u reach home… call me to jia you in the bkb… enjoy the game… after the game, ask me how is the game is… hmm… I felt so lonely that moment… I miss dear so much… dear have influenced me so much… I just wish one day u could sit there and see me play basketball… I would feel more energetic… omg… dear…… I MISS U SO MUCH!!!~~~ but this day… for me and dear… would be just a wish… that cant be granted… see me play bkb from nw onwards would also wont make any changes… from now… we would be frens… instead of… ahhhH!!:( I dun want… I just dun want… dun want… dun want… there is adi no chance for u to see me play anymore… no chance for u to see me in the bkb games… I really dun wish this breakup to happen…
when dear say how nice is my writing… although I dun feel anything nice bout it… but I feel happy… dear look so surprised and happy to see my notes… it makes me feel so happy and that u appreciate my notes… although u dun know most of the things written… but then… it really make me feel that dear treats it very important… dear… now I’m also looking at the b’day card u sent to me… reading it over and over… made me felt so appreciated… so happy… our 6mths anny… “dear, 6mths of Kiss”, “a heart and a smiley face with the tongue…”I’m so happy… 17 cupcakes… I remember I brought home eat the rest de… then mum and the auntie ate the last 2… I miss the days… I’m looking at the pictures…. How much u suffered and went through just to make the cupcakes for me… the chocolates… the drawings and cuttings… I miss u… I miss so much… the chocolates dear… the sweet chocolates… dear…. Dear… dear… my tears kept falling down… even more when I’m writing this part… omg… how to stop my crying? Hmm… why is it me to stop this relationship? Why must we??!! Why my dad is giving this problem to us?? Hmmm…….. AHHHHhhhhh~~!!! Hmm… why!! Why!! Dear… I’m so sry…. I’m very sorry… dear… please forgive me…
Everywhere I bring my bag… the green color box that stores the toothpicks of “dear, 6mths of Kiss”, is always in my bag… “a heart and a smiley face with the tongue…” is always in my toolbox… the pictures are all in all my computers and my hard disk… it was never thrown anywhere else but in my pencil box and my bag only… everywhere I also brought it along… hmm… I miss u so much…. I’m sorry dear… I promised dear to make one b’day card for u too… but till now… I haven’t been fulfilling all my promises to u…. so many empty promises made… I HATE MYSELF…. Really feel like doing something stupid…. its just not I dun dare… its just I have so many people I dun want them to be sad… especially u… so many things I cant simply left behind… my family…. U…. hmmm… I still HATE myself… for not remembering all the things that I’ve promised dear…
dear… I dint know u wanna plan so many things for me for next year… all my plan is to bring dear to somewhere for valentines day and ur birthday… for 5 days 4nights trip for both trips… I really want to have another long holiday like what we have in Genting… although Genting was short… but I really enjoyed it… I really wish to have once more… but now cannot d… cannot like last time d…. I know dear is more wishing to have it more than me…. But then… hmm… I dun know how to go again with dear… the chances… would be very low… dear… the BROS bottles.. Actually I found the white twins… custom made de… it is at a shop nearby my place… I found it d… they say it will be coming with the valentine’s twins… I was waiting for that…. To be our couple bottles… although it looked fake BROS bottles… but its made of steel… so I think its sustainable… I really wish I could get it for both of us… making hot coffees with it…
dear… the floral dress… act, I knw u have a dress d…. cause everytime I told dear about the dress… u gave me the feeling that u have adi owned one… I just kept quiet only….:( but dint know… I dint have the chance to even have a glimpse of it… the chances of the dress being seen by me… 0%, the chances of the dress being seen by other people… 80%... 20% is depending dear want to wear or not… dear… I really wish most of the outings… u could dun wear jeans and t-shirt but dresses… that make dear look pretty like in the Sushi King… after ur work… we had the meal and the dress was looking good on dear… hmm… but then… I wouldn’t have the chance d…
dear… I know there would be a choice for me but is it for me to choose? Or for me to follow only?… I might be wrong on my decision made… but for now… I need to stick with my decision as the things have gone even bad for my dad… hmmm…. Money for us kept being lesser and lesser…. I know u respect my decision… I’m sorry dear… I dint respect u at all… I dint respect your decisions… I’ve neglected u… I also dun know what to say… other than the word “sorry” and “its my fault”, I also dun know what to tell dear… thank you dear… for respecting my decision… supporting me… guiding me… help me to go through the year of 2010… I really missed the 370 days of us being together… from 19th November 2009 to 3rd December 2010… exactly 370 days… I just wish we could have went well… dint have to make this decision… this move… this stupid ACT of MINE!! I really hate myself so much… felt so sick of myself…
dear… I felt so bad that I made dear cry nonstop… I also can’t stop since just now…. I just can’t help it too… I just wish I dint made this decision… I just wish that I dint have to say the words of break up… I just wish I could take it all back… I’m just HOPELESS~~~ AHHHHHhhhhhh!!!~~~~
dear…. I can’t take care of u from now on…. Dear… please dear… I just want u to take care of yourself… I just want u to be well…. Please dear… take care of yourself properly…. dun always eat fried or grilled food… when drink coffee then drink more water…. Always make sure u drink more water when I’m not beside u… there wouldn’t have me anymore to remind u to drink water anymore… no more reminding dear to drink more water… dear…. Please… drink more water… stay healthy for yourself k? stay well… and be always PINKY LOVE…
dear… I really wish that u could forgive me… I just commented on her pic… because its new… no other reason… I dint miss anyone except u…. dear… always u see me talk to girls… talk until very close…. But actually I’m thinking of u every moment… in my mind, I always rmb how u used to stand, smile, kissing me… the looks of urs… its not like I treat all them like u…. its just I kept seeing u in my mind… hmm… its true dear… I really miss u so much…. Dear… if I want to start back the relationship… I hope u could be the first one to accept me back… hmm… I dun dare to promise what might happen next time… but if can, I really wish u could be the first one to accept me back… I know the possibilities of it to happen would be little… but…… hmm…. I really want… hmm..:(
dear…. Luckily tomolo is Sunday… so that I could hide myself in my room… I dun know how long I will be crying… since yesterday till now… I also dun know how long I’ve been awake to think the matter of my dad and think of u… I haven’t been sleeping since yesterday till now… not even touched the bed… I’m not tired… I just switch on the computer and kept looking at the pictures of us… over and over again… recalling all the pictures of us together… where were we… did what… had what food… what activities done… and before the breakup… I took so many pictures so that I could show dear…but most of it hasn’t shown to dear… like today…. I took a lot of pictures… where I’ve been, what have I done… it is not for my memory only… its for us… so I could tell dear… what have I done…. Who am I with… who the people I’ve met are… Not as prove to dear… but its just letting dear to see the picture of what I’ve done… but then… I just realized that I’ve neglected dear this time… hmm….
Even the BM lecturer also kept asking of where is u… why dint see u today…. Ask why my phone dint kept ringing… or vibrate…. Because she also knew how close we are… how good relationship we are… but then… I really, really dun know what to do… its confusing… I really dun know what to say d…. to write this long… I just followed dear’s message in the blog… if u realized… hmmm.. I really dun know what to tell dear…. My nose is also pain, pain… no matter I breathe in or out… no matter I blow my nose or rub it… cause I’ve been nonstop crying and thinking of dear…. My nose stuck since yesterday… hmmm… so rubbed until my nose adi bruises…
dear… I really hope my life will be better soon… everything goes back like to the 1st day I knew dear…. There is no problem for us… no matter… no issues… no problems… just us… and only us….:(
Dear… I also hope that u could promise me… take care of yourself when I’m not around… take care of your health… and when u are outside alone or not… remember to drink more water…. Dun eat so much of grilled or fried food although I know u like it… but then… try to just eat a little… then drink lots of water… and dun make yourself so tired from your dance… your work…. Because your ankle pain came back… your anti-body isn’t that good also… so, u must take care… dun be so careless adi… cut yourself also dun know… when tired… no one to help u to massage d… so u must really take care… if u want… call me or sms me… I sure help dear to massage de… ok? Hmmm… hmmm… dear… I’m not there for u adi… so please… promise me…. Take care of yourself properly… I dun want to have anything to happen to u…. dear… stop crying d… just let this to pass k? Hmm… I dun want u to have anything bad… I dun want your eyes to get swollen like mine now… I really dun know what else to say… dun know…. Really dun know…. There is so much things of u for me to take care…. but from 3rd of December 2010, Friday… I cant take care of u anymore… I cant concern on u like I always do… I cant kiss u, sayang u, hug u, tickle u, massage u, and touch u like I always do… I cant anymore… i… i… i… I’m so sry…
“dear..i love u so much~if u say u love me..i love u more~kisskisskisskiss..” this sentence dear…. I want to rephrase it back to u… I really mean it… that is why I dun always say “I love u, dear”, cause every word of it that I’ve said… I really mean it….:(
dear..i love you..i love you till the max too!!~~ take care of yourself when no matter u r in Malaysia or in Japan… just take care of yourself…. K?
LOVE and Always, Jack Foo Pang Ban, 5th December 2010
It is also hard and sad for me to see the next update on the blog is this….
Dear.. u can call me ur dear anytime and anywhere u want to…
Cause it is also so hard for me to change the calling suddenly… I felt awkward from the minute we ended; hard for me to change my callings to u… especially I was in the bus going to mainblock to get the car… hmmm…
I love you too dear… I also really do… dear… I also dun wish to have a break up… this small matter can make us separate… I also dun want to… if only I could have the button, trigger, or switch to change this decision or not to breakup… dear, although its love that we have… but then I’m not saying I’m giving up on sustaining the relationship… it is just the problem that I’m having that causes us separate… I know I’m selfish… but I can’t do anything to help it… I’m sorry… I wish to do sumthing of it… but so many days of thinking… how do we overcome this matter… the ways… the solutions… cant make any difference… hmm… I also want to share with u… so everything that I told u… is everything more than I told my buddies… everything is to tell u what am I running through… tell u what have I been through… and update u with my current situation.. dear… I want u to be beside me as well.. but then… I just dun know the way we could stay together… I really out of my mind…
One week once to meet each other? Hmm… because u r my loved one, so I wish to give u all my time and no time to separate us… but then… one day… isn’t much enuf for me too… not only for u… hmm.. I just dun know how to be a good bf… I really dun know how to give u the right happiness that u want… I’m just not the best… always there are major problems… issues… this … that… making us so hard to be together… hmm… that is why I told dear to find another guy than me… although I dun like it… I dun want any guy to touch u… I dun want any guy to kiss u or hug u… but I have no chance to make this decision or choice adi… I cant stop anyone to touch dear anymore… I cant stop any guy to come near u anymore… I’m not given the chance at all adi also… cause I dun even know I could take care of myself or not… and my family issues… hmm… caused us to separate… so I cant do anything for dear anymore… make decisions for u… create solutions for u…. we need to be apart… dear… I know… if u want to find a guy… it would be easy for u… just snap, sure got d… I just hope u could find a better guy than me in future… no problems, issues, matters or anything… hmm… dear… u told me before that how I looked during the first day when we are together… u told me also that how u loved my looks… I rmb… I also rmb how I kissed dear in the class… it was Thursday… after a movie… then we started since then… now it becomes from “memories of us…” to “passed sweet memories of us…” hmm…
just now u were messaging me tell me the purple pendant is broken… cant mend or repair it back… it seems to be like our heart too… once broken… cant mend back… I know dear is having heart pain worst than me… heart pain like stabbed by a knife… can’t take out the knife… dun know how to take out… bleeding badly… pain… I know how it feels… but I also dun know how to make it less pain or no pain at all… although I know its my problem… but I just dun know how to mend or repair myself or to make ur pain to be lesser… in fact, I made dear more sad… I know dear more san fu than me… hmm… I dun know how to tell dear also on the breaking up… I’m so confused… I also knew that u know what I am bout to say d… I know this… but then… I dun know how to open the topic to dear… dun know how to start at all… dun know how to open my mouth too… cause I dun wish to end so fast too… I dun wish to open this topic to dear at all… I dun wish to…
Dear… I’m sorry for having u to break up with me after 1 year… I wish to be longer… I dun wish to have u sit alone the Dr Café alone… I know u dun like to alone… same as me… I also dun like to be alone… dun like the feeling of alone…
Now having little messages between us for the past 2 days… its because I’m missing dear’s messages too… the caring and lovely messages… the happy and supporting messages… I’m missing that too… I miss the days with u at Dr café drinking coffee… sitting at the corner… hugging u to have the coffee… or being together to sit there and do our stuff… waiting for u at the place… going to the cold air-cond toilet… going a walk at solaris… going to sushi king… going to cold storage… going to the toilet… at the carpark too… dear… I know all of this… money cant buy… its all our happiness together… I dun want this breakup to happen too… but do I have a choice? I’m not sure I have…
I also dun know why… this is like our separation letter or blog post… which I hardly could write much…but I know I’m writing a lot de… I also dun know what to say d… its just following dear’s messages and sentences in the blog, explaining how am I without dear… how bad am I that I dun have dear… how regretted am i… how pain am I making this decision… how my tears coming down… hmm… I know dear would be few times worst than me… I’m so sry!!~~
my tears also coming out nonstop while I’m writing this in my room… I really have no mood to go out… I also dun know what to do at home… wondering at home… no mood to even go out for dinner… dear… I haven’t been eating dinner for 2 days… ate little for lunch… non for breaky at all… morning till night… just 1 small meal… like half a bowl of rice… for the whole day… parents ask y d… I just told dem… no appetite… I’m sorry dear… I lied to dear again… I just dun want dear to worry bout me… (although I know u will worry… but its adi past d, so u will worry less by today… hope that u wont worry so much of me… I’ll take care myself… so must u k?=( ) Now like dear… my tears is automatically coming out… I’m so sad… why my dad… why this… why… why… why……..!!! hmmm…. I feel like screaming…!! Hmm… my heart is so pain right now… I just dun knw why I need to make this decision!! Jason say I got the choice… what choice do I have? Why it have to be me?? Whyyyyyy…..:( my heart now is broken and so pain…. Like last time… I just dun want another few months to be like this… I want dear to see me smiling… laughing… happy look… not like now…
Dear… there is also many things I WILL DEFINITELY rmb bout u… u wont be erased in my mind… ur pictures… ur looks… ur dresses… ur clothes… ur smell… our trips… our outings… our pictures together… I miss ur face… I miss ur shiny and nice smell de hair… how u every time told me… how nice is it… I seem to ignore… in fact, its I LOVE it… the smell is so nice on dear…. but now I really missed it… I missed it…. Really bad… I need to smell dear from far… cant simply play with it anymore… cant simply touch the silky hair anymore… i miss u massage my back for me… sit on my lap… lie on me… hug me… kiss me… I miss u so much… I’m bitting my teeth to write this… tears kept coming out… I miss the smiles on dear… how I could tickle dear… how I made dear smile… how I made dear felt so happy…. But now… I felt so bad… making this decision… my tears wont stop coming out…
Dear… I dun want to cry in the classroom because I want to stay a good look for dear to rmb… since now u cant see me… tears kept rolling like water tap… my specs is filling with my tears… I really dun wish I made this decision…
Actually I cried in the car while going back… then run into my room after bkb and continued… I dun dare to come out… just bath and then think of dear… then sit on my bed and then tears came out… I miss the days of u on my bed…. my eyes is this first time so swollen… this morning till now… only Jason and TK saw my eyes swollen when we are out awhile… they dint ask anything… they know… how bad am I…. how awful bf I could be…. And how sad am i… but compared me to dear… dear would be more sad… more heart pain… after that, straight away went home and straight into my room… walkabout in the house when parents are out…
Then while on9 outside, I saw my FB status is only “in a relationship…” I dint know dear changed it so fast… I’m so sad to see that… I dint wish to see that on my profile… my profile pic remains the same… I dun feel like changing it so fast or even changing it… do we really need to clear out the situation so fast? Hmmm… I really missed that moment in SUNWAY…. I hug u till the end… whole day together….:(
dear..i love u sitting in my CLK.. dear… u still got the chance 2 sit in dat.. but I just think it wouldn’t be the same feeling… couldn’t hold ur hand… couldn’t kiss u when coming in the car or going out of the car… dear… I really like it when u rmb all the things that I’ve said… although u seem to fu yan me… but I know u’ll rmb everything what I say… I really appreciate what u’ve said too… I’m grateful to have u as my gf… I’m so happy when u firstly accepted me… but I dint know we cant make it through next year… I really felt that I’m no use… for so little problem… not even my problem… i cant fix it… dear… although u like to see how I drive… but then… I love the most is when I hold ur hand and drive… it feels like although the car is breaking off, but we wont be leaving each other…. And the best but dangerous is… I’m hugging dear… dear lying on me… and I’m driving the car… it felt so short time at that moment on the way back from One utama to college… but then I LOVE it… and started to missed it adi… cause we couldn’t do this anymore… I was like thinking before this when we could do that again? When can we do that on a long straight road…? So I could hug dear long enuf and dear lie on me and sleep… but now…. We cant do it anymore d… hmm… just for one small matter of my family… my tears now coming out even more… causing me to stop and continue… stop to wipe my tears… and then continue typing… dear… if I have a choice… I wouldn’t have chosen this path… I dun like this way or decision….:( if I could only do sumthing…..
dear… I was waiting for sumthing for so long as dear I think u are as well… its dear seeing me playing basketball…. While slowly changing my clothes for the basketball time… I recalled I always message u as soon as when I arrived… I always waited some of my time…to message dear and waiting for ur replies… but then… last Friday… I dint get to message dear or get messages from dear… its gone d… while playing bkb… there were no messaging between us… making me no mood to play… played until very bad… and many of the phones kept ringing… its not my phone… its not my ringtone… it was others phones… not mine… not a single message between us… not a miss call even… nothing… usually there would be messages from dear saying u reach home… call me to jia you in the bkb… enjoy the game… after the game, ask me how is the game is… hmm… I felt so lonely that moment… I miss dear so much… dear have influenced me so much… I just wish one day u could sit there and see me play basketball… I would feel more energetic… omg… dear…… I MISS U SO MUCH!!!~~~ but this day… for me and dear… would be just a wish… that cant be granted… see me play bkb from nw onwards would also wont make any changes… from now… we would be frens… instead of… ahhhH!!:( I dun want… I just dun want… dun want… dun want… there is adi no chance for u to see me play anymore… no chance for u to see me in the bkb games… I really dun wish this breakup to happen…
when dear say how nice is my writing… although I dun feel anything nice bout it… but I feel happy… dear look so surprised and happy to see my notes… it makes me feel so happy and that u appreciate my notes… although u dun know most of the things written… but then… it really make me feel that dear treats it very important… dear… now I’m also looking at the b’day card u sent to me… reading it over and over… made me felt so appreciated… so happy… our 6mths anny… “dear, 6mths of Kiss”, “a heart and a smiley face with the tongue…”I’m so happy… 17 cupcakes… I remember I brought home eat the rest de… then mum and the auntie ate the last 2… I miss the days… I’m looking at the pictures…. How much u suffered and went through just to make the cupcakes for me… the chocolates… the drawings and cuttings… I miss u… I miss so much… the chocolates dear… the sweet chocolates… dear…. Dear… dear… my tears kept falling down… even more when I’m writing this part… omg… how to stop my crying? Hmm… why is it me to stop this relationship? Why must we??!! Why my dad is giving this problem to us?? Hmmm…….. AHHHHhhhhh~~!!! Hmm… why!! Why!! Dear… I’m so sry…. I’m very sorry… dear… please forgive me…
Everywhere I bring my bag… the green color box that stores the toothpicks of “dear, 6mths of Kiss”, is always in my bag… “a heart and a smiley face with the tongue…” is always in my toolbox… the pictures are all in all my computers and my hard disk… it was never thrown anywhere else but in my pencil box and my bag only… everywhere I also brought it along… hmm… I miss u so much…. I’m sorry dear… I promised dear to make one b’day card for u too… but till now… I haven’t been fulfilling all my promises to u…. so many empty promises made… I HATE MYSELF…. Really feel like doing something stupid…. its just not I dun dare… its just I have so many people I dun want them to be sad… especially u… so many things I cant simply left behind… my family…. U…. hmmm… I still HATE myself… for not remembering all the things that I’ve promised dear…
dear… I dint know u wanna plan so many things for me for next year… all my plan is to bring dear to somewhere for valentines day and ur birthday… for 5 days 4nights trip for both trips… I really want to have another long holiday like what we have in Genting… although Genting was short… but I really enjoyed it… I really wish to have once more… but now cannot d… cannot like last time d…. I know dear is more wishing to have it more than me…. But then… hmm… I dun know how to go again with dear… the chances… would be very low… dear… the BROS bottles.. Actually I found the white twins… custom made de… it is at a shop nearby my place… I found it d… they say it will be coming with the valentine’s twins… I was waiting for that…. To be our couple bottles… although it looked fake BROS bottles… but its made of steel… so I think its sustainable… I really wish I could get it for both of us… making hot coffees with it…
dear… the floral dress… act, I knw u have a dress d…. cause everytime I told dear about the dress… u gave me the feeling that u have adi owned one… I just kept quiet only….:( but dint know… I dint have the chance to even have a glimpse of it… the chances of the dress being seen by me… 0%, the chances of the dress being seen by other people… 80%... 20% is depending dear want to wear or not… dear… I really wish most of the outings… u could dun wear jeans and t-shirt but dresses… that make dear look pretty like in the Sushi King… after ur work… we had the meal and the dress was looking good on dear… hmm… but then… I wouldn’t have the chance d…
dear… I know there would be a choice for me but is it for me to choose? Or for me to follow only?… I might be wrong on my decision made… but for now… I need to stick with my decision as the things have gone even bad for my dad… hmmm…. Money for us kept being lesser and lesser…. I know u respect my decision… I’m sorry dear… I dint respect u at all… I dint respect your decisions… I’ve neglected u… I also dun know what to say… other than the word “sorry” and “its my fault”, I also dun know what to tell dear… thank you dear… for respecting my decision… supporting me… guiding me… help me to go through the year of 2010… I really missed the 370 days of us being together… from 19th November 2009 to 3rd December 2010… exactly 370 days… I just wish we could have went well… dint have to make this decision… this move… this stupid ACT of MINE!! I really hate myself so much… felt so sick of myself…
dear… I felt so bad that I made dear cry nonstop… I also can’t stop since just now…. I just can’t help it too… I just wish I dint made this decision… I just wish that I dint have to say the words of break up… I just wish I could take it all back… I’m just HOPELESS~~~ AHHHHHhhhhhh!!!~~~~
dear…. I can’t take care of u from now on…. Dear… please dear… I just want u to take care of yourself… I just want u to be well…. Please dear… take care of yourself properly…. dun always eat fried or grilled food… when drink coffee then drink more water…. Always make sure u drink more water when I’m not beside u… there wouldn’t have me anymore to remind u to drink water anymore… no more reminding dear to drink more water… dear…. Please… drink more water… stay healthy for yourself k? stay well… and be always PINKY LOVE…
dear… I really wish that u could forgive me… I just commented on her pic… because its new… no other reason… I dint miss anyone except u…. dear… always u see me talk to girls… talk until very close…. But actually I’m thinking of u every moment… in my mind, I always rmb how u used to stand, smile, kissing me… the looks of urs… its not like I treat all them like u…. its just I kept seeing u in my mind… hmm… its true dear… I really miss u so much…. Dear… if I want to start back the relationship… I hope u could be the first one to accept me back… hmm… I dun dare to promise what might happen next time… but if can, I really wish u could be the first one to accept me back… I know the possibilities of it to happen would be little… but…… hmm…. I really want… hmm..:(
dear…. Luckily tomolo is Sunday… so that I could hide myself in my room… I dun know how long I will be crying… since yesterday till now… I also dun know how long I’ve been awake to think the matter of my dad and think of u… I haven’t been sleeping since yesterday till now… not even touched the bed… I’m not tired… I just switch on the computer and kept looking at the pictures of us… over and over again… recalling all the pictures of us together… where were we… did what… had what food… what activities done… and before the breakup… I took so many pictures so that I could show dear…but most of it hasn’t shown to dear… like today…. I took a lot of pictures… where I’ve been, what have I done… it is not for my memory only… its for us… so I could tell dear… what have I done…. Who am I with… who the people I’ve met are… Not as prove to dear… but its just letting dear to see the picture of what I’ve done… but then… I just realized that I’ve neglected dear this time… hmm….
Even the BM lecturer also kept asking of where is u… why dint see u today…. Ask why my phone dint kept ringing… or vibrate…. Because she also knew how close we are… how good relationship we are… but then… I really, really dun know what to do… its confusing… I really dun know what to say d…. to write this long… I just followed dear’s message in the blog… if u realized… hmmm.. I really dun know what to tell dear…. My nose is also pain, pain… no matter I breathe in or out… no matter I blow my nose or rub it… cause I’ve been nonstop crying and thinking of dear…. My nose stuck since yesterday… hmmm… so rubbed until my nose adi bruises…
dear… I really hope my life will be better soon… everything goes back like to the 1st day I knew dear…. There is no problem for us… no matter… no issues… no problems… just us… and only us….:(
Dear… I also hope that u could promise me… take care of yourself when I’m not around… take care of your health… and when u are outside alone or not… remember to drink more water…. Dun eat so much of grilled or fried food although I know u like it… but then… try to just eat a little… then drink lots of water… and dun make yourself so tired from your dance… your work…. Because your ankle pain came back… your anti-body isn’t that good also… so, u must take care… dun be so careless adi… cut yourself also dun know… when tired… no one to help u to massage d… so u must really take care… if u want… call me or sms me… I sure help dear to massage de… ok? Hmmm… hmmm… dear… I’m not there for u adi… so please… promise me…. Take care of yourself properly… I dun want to have anything to happen to u…. dear… stop crying d… just let this to pass k? Hmm… I dun want u to have anything bad… I dun want your eyes to get swollen like mine now… I really dun know what else to say… dun know…. Really dun know…. There is so much things of u for me to take care…. but from 3rd of December 2010, Friday… I cant take care of u anymore… I cant concern on u like I always do… I cant kiss u, sayang u, hug u, tickle u, massage u, and touch u like I always do… I cant anymore… i… i… i… I’m so sry…
“dear..i love u so much~if u say u love me..i love u more~kisskisskisskiss..” this sentence dear…. I want to rephrase it back to u… I really mean it… that is why I dun always say “I love u, dear”, cause every word of it that I’ve said… I really mean it….:(
dear..i love you..i love you till the max too!!~~ take care of yourself when no matter u r in Malaysia or in Japan… just take care of yourself…. K?
LOVE and Always, Jack Foo Pang Ban, 5th December 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
3rd December 2010
Its so pathetic 2 see a break up blog right after our 1st yr anny blog..
dear.. pls allow me 2 cal u dat 4 de last time..k?
i love you dear.. i really do~ i duno dat such a matter can cause us 2 break up..cz 2 me as long as there is love, i wil try my best 2 sustain de relationship..i oso face prob dear..but i wan u 2 share vf me go through vf me..n vf all my heart, i'm willing 2 do de same 2 u dear.. cz u r my love one..
u said in de classroom jz nw..find a better guy..if i wanted a better guy.. i wont b here vf u after 1 yr..u r my dream guy..de guy dat i wanted n i get..but sadly onli 4 a year..de day i step into help..i saw u~i like u~n much more..i can never forget seeing u in dsa,vf ur blue bag,n de gold pin at ur collar vf a pair of slippers..i jz like it..
dear..i'm in dr cafe writng dis..having my fav caramel frappe vf whipped cream..wat m i missing??its u dear..de sofa is empty,but no1 is 2 share vf me 2 sit there again~i wan 2 do de things i like best n hv my fav drink..dear..there's no taste..u see..money cant buy happiness..
dear..there's so many things i wana rmb bout u~b4 everything in my mind get empty..i wana rmb hw u look..every part of ur face,i wana rmb ur big palms dat i love so much,i wana rmb my water bed,i love 2 see hw big u r..hw tall u r..cz it makes me small n u treat me like a precious~can jz b wrap in ur arms..n no 1 will attack me..i feel safe in ur arms dear..onli urs..
dear..i love ur CLK..i gt no chance 2 sit in dat anymore..i dun mind 2 gt a small car..but i love it~cz dear oways say hw gud izit..n ur 'KELISA POWER' dear..i love de way u drive,sumtimes u drive,i like 2 jz suddenly watch u n smile..cz u look so man when u do so~concentrate n steady~driving vf 1 hand,turning vf 1 hand..n driving seems so easy 4 u..i jz love see u drive..
dear,i love 2 hear u say hw much i've influence u..cz it makes me feel, i hv adi go into ur life~eat less rice,more vege..eat my fav wan tan mee..n feel no mood if eating alone..so many more dear..so many more..
dear..i wana rmb ur neat writing..ur neat notes..super love ur writing dear..dear..i kept reading bek de valentine card u wrote 4 me at the curve do u remember?short n sweet..dats de onli card dat i left 2 see bek ur writing dear..cz u onli wrote 2 me 1 love letter~
dear..i've adi plan out wat 2 get 4 u dis yr n next yr..things dat u nid~shoes..clothes..pants..n want 2 get de type u like n suit u~i'm searching 4 de bros bottle dat we wanted 2 b our couple bottle..black de dear..1u no more stock..i called ppl help me find..now i can stop doing it de..
dear..u said mayb i'l look nice in long floral dress..i tried 1 n bought it de dear..i wanted 2 wear it 4 our anny..i wan dear 2 see me pretty..i wan gv dear surprise..i noe u cant afford dear..so i dun ask anymore n kept de dress de~
dear..i respect ur decision..u noe..my wallpaper.. love is respect..den do u respect my decision dear??do u think hw i feel when u make de decision dear?but since de decision is made,i'll follow dear..
i cant stop crying..no i din cry..its de tears kept falling down demself when i'm writing dis~i cant control dear..i'm sorry..i cannot promise 2 take care of myself..dis i cannot promise u~
for de fb..dear change de relationship status since its ur decision dear..n since we adi broke up~although i miss u so much dat will cry every nite.. but we stil gota hv a clear cut of de situation now~
dear..in de sms u wan me 2 forgive u~but when i see ur fb again~u find bek yee huan..i oso duno u izit miss her o nt~i'm so confuse~i'm jz sad nt angry..u said we could cont b friends n love me..i hope u do wat u say~n not get anothe gal after a month..in dat case..i'll never forgive u anymore~
dear..i hope ur life will b better soon..i hope ur family probs will end soon..n sum1 will help u all~cz i dun wan dear suffer oso~
dear..i love u so much~if u say u love me..i love u more~kisskisskisskiss..
dear..i love you..i love you..
love, phoebe chiew shu ping 3rd december 2010
dear.. pls allow me 2 cal u dat 4 de last time..k?
i love you dear.. i really do~ i duno dat such a matter can cause us 2 break up..cz 2 me as long as there is love, i wil try my best 2 sustain de relationship..i oso face prob dear..but i wan u 2 share vf me go through vf me..n vf all my heart, i'm willing 2 do de same 2 u dear.. cz u r my love one..
u said in de classroom jz nw..find a better guy..if i wanted a better guy.. i wont b here vf u after 1 yr..u r my dream guy..de guy dat i wanted n i get..but sadly onli 4 a year..de day i step into help..i saw u~i like u~n much more..i can never forget seeing u in dsa,vf ur blue bag,n de gold pin at ur collar vf a pair of slippers..i jz like it..
dear..i'm in dr cafe writng dis..having my fav caramel frappe vf whipped cream..wat m i missing??its u dear..de sofa is empty,but no1 is 2 share vf me 2 sit there again~i wan 2 do de things i like best n hv my fav drink..dear..there's no taste..u see..money cant buy happiness..
dear..there's so many things i wana rmb bout u~b4 everything in my mind get empty..i wana rmb hw u look..every part of ur face,i wana rmb ur big palms dat i love so much,i wana rmb my water bed,i love 2 see hw big u r..hw tall u r..cz it makes me small n u treat me like a precious~can jz b wrap in ur arms..n no 1 will attack me..i feel safe in ur arms dear..onli urs..
dear..i love ur CLK..i gt no chance 2 sit in dat anymore..i dun mind 2 gt a small car..but i love it~cz dear oways say hw gud izit..n ur 'KELISA POWER' dear..i love de way u drive,sumtimes u drive,i like 2 jz suddenly watch u n smile..cz u look so man when u do so~concentrate n steady~driving vf 1 hand,turning vf 1 hand..n driving seems so easy 4 u..i jz love see u drive..
dear,i love 2 hear u say hw much i've influence u..cz it makes me feel, i hv adi go into ur life~eat less rice,more vege..eat my fav wan tan mee..n feel no mood if eating alone..so many more dear..so many more..
dear..i wana rmb ur neat writing..ur neat notes..super love ur writing dear..dear..i kept reading bek de valentine card u wrote 4 me at the curve do u remember?short n sweet..dats de onli card dat i left 2 see bek ur writing dear..cz u onli wrote 2 me 1 love letter~
dear..i've adi plan out wat 2 get 4 u dis yr n next yr..things dat u nid~shoes..clothes..pants..n want 2 get de type u like n suit u~i'm searching 4 de bros bottle dat we wanted 2 b our couple bottle..black de dear..1u no more stock..i called ppl help me find..now i can stop doing it de..
dear..u said mayb i'l look nice in long floral dress..i tried 1 n bought it de dear..i wanted 2 wear it 4 our anny..i wan dear 2 see me pretty..i wan gv dear surprise..i noe u cant afford dear..so i dun ask anymore n kept de dress de~
dear..i respect ur decision..u noe..my wallpaper.. love is respect..den do u respect my decision dear??do u think hw i feel when u make de decision dear?but since de decision is made,i'll follow dear..
i cant stop crying..no i din cry..its de tears kept falling down demself when i'm writing dis~i cant control dear..i'm sorry..i cannot promise 2 take care of myself..dis i cannot promise u~
for de fb..dear change de relationship status since its ur decision dear..n since we adi broke up~although i miss u so much dat will cry every nite.. but we stil gota hv a clear cut of de situation now~
dear..in de sms u wan me 2 forgive u~but when i see ur fb again~u find bek yee huan..i oso duno u izit miss her o nt~i'm so confuse~i'm jz sad nt angry..u said we could cont b friends n love me..i hope u do wat u say~n not get anothe gal after a month..in dat case..i'll never forgive u anymore~
dear..i hope ur life will b better soon..i hope ur family probs will end soon..n sum1 will help u all~cz i dun wan dear suffer oso~
dear..i love u so much~if u say u love me..i love u more~kisskisskisskiss..
dear..i love you..i love you..
love, phoebe chiew shu ping 3rd december 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
1st Year anniversary
dear...
happy Anniversary for the 1st Year... 19.11
i'm also lucky that i found u as my gf... i appreciate dear alot...
although i tried my best to work as hard i can to make u happy and make things right...
but seems to be very hard for me as well... i'm trying my best k? hehe
dear, to me.. u r always pretty k? make u a precious... hehehe...
dear... i also like it when u r sleeping on me when i'm driving.. but it seems dangerous.. cant do that often o.. hahaha
but dear...
all seems hard for these past few months..
hope u could run along with me..
tq dear for supporting me:)
ur love too...
Jack Foo
happy Anniversary for the 1st Year... 19.11
i'm also lucky that i found u as my gf... i appreciate dear alot...
although i tried my best to work as hard i can to make u happy and make things right...
but seems to be very hard for me as well... i'm trying my best k? hehe
dear, to me.. u r always pretty k? make u a precious... hehehe...
dear... i also like it when u r sleeping on me when i'm driving.. but it seems dangerous.. cant do that often o.. hahaha
but dear...
all seems hard for these past few months..
hope u could run along with me..
tq dear for supporting me:)
ur love too...
Jack Foo
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Genting Highlands Day 2 and Day 3...
as u all have waited so long.... this is the day 2 and day 3... after exams ma... mai continue lo...
Day 2 (7/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
The day 2 started when i woke up in the middle of the morning and cause of neck pain..
Dint really slept properly...
In the end, slept then wake then sleep back...
Until 12pm with me and my dear...
So happy that we can share the night together...
Then we went out of the room and cleaned ourselves... found out also that the whole house has no one except us...
After the cleaning and bathing... we then found the note... saying that they went out...
Inn kun and Yvonne was also missing... dun know where they went to.. then note only shows that Cindy and Adrian when walking...
The plan from yesterday was a total disaster... supposed to have breaky together de... morning de... not brunch in the afternoon... we bad.. lol...
Then they started making food... me and my dear bought additional food...
Got eggs, butter, and sugar with a packet of milo... funny thing is the price is FREAKING EXPENSIVE...
One egg cost bout rm0.70 and the sugar is rm2.50 per 500 gram... omg.. so exp...
Nvm lo.. this is GENTING ma... what to do?
Went back up with my dear and went on cooking...
The next problem starts...
Fire stove not working... and matches not lighten up...
Then called the person and went down AGAIN to House Cleaning Department to get the matches..
The worst part, that idiot say the matches are wet.. so hard to light always...
Then he gives me the same type of matches.... -.-!!! what the...
I tried to light it up next to a dustbin.. where got cigarettes ashes... but then, dint light.. same effect..
In the end, bought a lighter which is rm1.70.. which is also a cacat one..
Cant light properly...
After all that mess and problems with issues in it, still cant light...
Luckily Adrian was clever.. he checked the gas... not attached at all.. omg!! What a noob...
But without fire, how to start jek? Finished making brunch and eaten brunch hungrily...
Got baked beans, scrambled eggs, toast bread, and milo... lol...
After all of that, we packed up and my dear, Phoebe and Yvonne make the liberty to clean the plates ASAP so that we could go out fast... while Adrian and Cindy took the chance to clean the table.. lolx..
So fast everything went completely clean.. if only we were staying this type of house with roommates like that.. so happy... u do a bit, i do a bit... so nice.. lolx!
Then we make our journey back up the hill again... back to the first world, and went back to the warehouse sale, cause Inn Kun and Yvonne haven’t went there before
After walking for a moment, me and my dear decided to buy shoes for her... bought the shoes for her d... rm29.90, BUM Equipment... how cheap is that.. lol... quite yeng also... hehehe..
Then we went and kai kai around the place... went walking by... then went to casino...
That was our idea.. hahahaha... then went inside the casino... the laughing is because someone made me laugh until now...
The conversation was like this...
Me: the gambling is like this...
Phoebe: oh really?? But the guy put all the money inside...
Me: oh... the banker very geng... win only by a point...
Phoebe: ya lo... very geng...
When the person lost again... in the gamble,
Phoebe: (said loudly behind the guy) the guy lost again!!
Me: wa liao... dun so loud...
The guy looked at us... then we left quickly... so bad, we all went and say bad about the person...
Then we went to walk around the casino... looking at the new place... looking at the renovation.. all kinds of gambling’s things... then got hot coffee and hot milo inside the casino...
About 8pm, we went back to the apartment... went and rest... bath... and then wanted to have dinner... but we have what for dinner... i’m kinda blur... i think it was the remaining bread and eggs...
But when we gathered back at the dinner table, we played cards in the apartment... exhausted for the day... after playing not long... they have been too exhausted...
But me and my dear... went out... cause not that tired... it was HUNGRY!! Went walking up to the mini market at the old town restaurant there... having the cold breeze and bought the food there....
Got 3 bowls of mee is rm9, then bought bout 6... 2 each for our gang and for us... bought sweets (till now still inside my fridge) haha... and BEER!! One can is 500ml de... 12.2% de... went back to the apartment and started our meal.. having fun... but the prawn mee... is awkward... kinda funny de paste that is for the mee...
Finished the meal.. had the fun... then went to sleep... till the next day...
Day 3 (8/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
Just woke up... then quickly bath... did all the things.. pack up... run up and down.. then packed d...
Went down... with our beloved “HEAVY” bags... hahaha.. now even heavier due to the water and the things we bought... hahaha..
Then we walked up to the bus stop... finding for bus... at 1st at the bus stop of GENTING, the person over there... very gila.. not over there... and only 9pm onwards only got bus tickets... gila de...
Then we are gila enough to walk another way... that is a long journey like from north to south for the cable car... and got the tickets from there... at 1st we plan to sit like how we sat when we sat on the 1st day... but in the end, we all cramp into a cable car... hahahaha...
Have some pics taking... then went arrived, we went to get our bus ticket...
The lady very irresponsible and very rude to customers... i think usually she gets complains... cause when serving Cindy, she asked nicely but that idiot Malay lady so rude!! Then dared Cindy to complain to the GENTING department...
Dun care the rude lady la... then the bus came on time... and before that, i went to toilet before rushing into the bus... hahaha...
In the bus, went on sleeping... went on sleeping until we reach the ONE UTAMA back, but then i did something wrong... called my dad on that spot...
Dear, i was so sorry at that moment... i am sorry every time i remember that moment...
I’m so sorry that i left u so early... leaving u alone... really sorry till nw... i dun want to put this into the memories de... but i cant dun remember this moment... i’m really really sorry....
I was too blur to call my dad at that moment... hmm... really exhausted... when i left the subway... i walked slowly into the car... thinking of u only... hope u forgive me... :( hmmm.... i really hope u forget this case k? Kiss kiss... muacks!!!
Then this is how we ended our holidays... some happy and sad moments... hmm.. :(
Day 2 (7/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
The day 2 started when i woke up in the middle of the morning and cause of neck pain..
Dint really slept properly...
In the end, slept then wake then sleep back...
Until 12pm with me and my dear...
So happy that we can share the night together...
Then we went out of the room and cleaned ourselves... found out also that the whole house has no one except us...
After the cleaning and bathing... we then found the note... saying that they went out...
Inn kun and Yvonne was also missing... dun know where they went to.. then note only shows that Cindy and Adrian when walking...
The plan from yesterday was a total disaster... supposed to have breaky together de... morning de... not brunch in the afternoon... we bad.. lol...
Then they started making food... me and my dear bought additional food...
Got eggs, butter, and sugar with a packet of milo... funny thing is the price is FREAKING EXPENSIVE...
One egg cost bout rm0.70 and the sugar is rm2.50 per 500 gram... omg.. so exp...
Nvm lo.. this is GENTING ma... what to do?
Went back up with my dear and went on cooking...
The next problem starts...
Fire stove not working... and matches not lighten up...
Then called the person and went down AGAIN to House Cleaning Department to get the matches..
The worst part, that idiot say the matches are wet.. so hard to light always...
Then he gives me the same type of matches.... -.-!!! what the...
I tried to light it up next to a dustbin.. where got cigarettes ashes... but then, dint light.. same effect..
In the end, bought a lighter which is rm1.70.. which is also a cacat one..
Cant light properly...
After all that mess and problems with issues in it, still cant light...
Luckily Adrian was clever.. he checked the gas... not attached at all.. omg!! What a noob...
But without fire, how to start jek? Finished making brunch and eaten brunch hungrily...
Got baked beans, scrambled eggs, toast bread, and milo... lol...
After all of that, we packed up and my dear, Phoebe and Yvonne make the liberty to clean the plates ASAP so that we could go out fast... while Adrian and Cindy took the chance to clean the table.. lolx..
So fast everything went completely clean.. if only we were staying this type of house with roommates like that.. so happy... u do a bit, i do a bit... so nice.. lolx!
Then we make our journey back up the hill again... back to the first world, and went back to the warehouse sale, cause Inn Kun and Yvonne haven’t went there before
After walking for a moment, me and my dear decided to buy shoes for her... bought the shoes for her d... rm29.90, BUM Equipment... how cheap is that.. lol... quite yeng also... hehehe..
Then we went and kai kai around the place... went walking by... then went to casino...
That was our idea.. hahahaha... then went inside the casino... the laughing is because someone made me laugh until now...
The conversation was like this...
Me: the gambling is like this...
Phoebe: oh really?? But the guy put all the money inside...
Me: oh... the banker very geng... win only by a point...
Phoebe: ya lo... very geng...
When the person lost again... in the gamble,
Phoebe: (said loudly behind the guy) the guy lost again!!
Me: wa liao... dun so loud...
The guy looked at us... then we left quickly... so bad, we all went and say bad about the person...
Then we went to walk around the casino... looking at the new place... looking at the renovation.. all kinds of gambling’s things... then got hot coffee and hot milo inside the casino...
About 8pm, we went back to the apartment... went and rest... bath... and then wanted to have dinner... but we have what for dinner... i’m kinda blur... i think it was the remaining bread and eggs...
But when we gathered back at the dinner table, we played cards in the apartment... exhausted for the day... after playing not long... they have been too exhausted...
But me and my dear... went out... cause not that tired... it was HUNGRY!! Went walking up to the mini market at the old town restaurant there... having the cold breeze and bought the food there....
Got 3 bowls of mee is rm9, then bought bout 6... 2 each for our gang and for us... bought sweets (till now still inside my fridge) haha... and BEER!! One can is 500ml de... 12.2% de... went back to the apartment and started our meal.. having fun... but the prawn mee... is awkward... kinda funny de paste that is for the mee...
Finished the meal.. had the fun... then went to sleep... till the next day...
Day 3 (8/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS
Just woke up... then quickly bath... did all the things.. pack up... run up and down.. then packed d...
Went down... with our beloved “HEAVY” bags... hahaha.. now even heavier due to the water and the things we bought... hahaha..
Then we walked up to the bus stop... finding for bus... at 1st at the bus stop of GENTING, the person over there... very gila.. not over there... and only 9pm onwards only got bus tickets... gila de...
Then we are gila enough to walk another way... that is a long journey like from north to south for the cable car... and got the tickets from there... at 1st we plan to sit like how we sat when we sat on the 1st day... but in the end, we all cramp into a cable car... hahahaha...
Have some pics taking... then went arrived, we went to get our bus ticket...
The lady very irresponsible and very rude to customers... i think usually she gets complains... cause when serving Cindy, she asked nicely but that idiot Malay lady so rude!! Then dared Cindy to complain to the GENTING department...
Dun care the rude lady la... then the bus came on time... and before that, i went to toilet before rushing into the bus... hahaha...
In the bus, went on sleeping... went on sleeping until we reach the ONE UTAMA back, but then i did something wrong... called my dad on that spot...
Dear, i was so sorry at that moment... i am sorry every time i remember that moment...
I’m so sorry that i left u so early... leaving u alone... really sorry till nw... i dun want to put this into the memories de... but i cant dun remember this moment... i’m really really sorry....
I was too blur to call my dad at that moment... hmm... really exhausted... when i left the subway... i walked slowly into the car... thinking of u only... hope u forgive me... :( hmmm.... i really hope u forget this case k? Kiss kiss... muacks!!!
Then this is how we ended our holidays... some happy and sad moments... hmm.. :(
Monday, October 4, 2010
i'm sorry...
dear... although i havent post the day 2 and 3... which i wasnt able to finish... but i'm trying my best to finish it k? :(
Dear, i know that i never remember the timing of urs is my fault...
I know that i give u the feeling of i simply replied the smses to u is also my fault...
I know that its my fault...
I’m not saying that i know all this and i still want to do...
But i dun know how to tell u my situation...
For example today...
U said ur house no electricity...
Then ur whole garden... i was wondering what garden...
I really dun know what garden u referring.. total lost and blur... thinking... ur car porch also no garden... hmmm... then i mai leave it aside until i ask again...
Dint know dear was like so mad and pissed...
Bout the time of the dance.. i nearly remembered the time for ur classes correctly... although not correct, but it was close... at least i made a try... not like today i totally dun know...
Maybe its also because u have started back ur dancing classes and my exams are killing me... i’m really haywire...
Its not i’m doin anything... its not i’m talking to anyone... not sick, not tired or anything else...
Maybe i just need time to think what should i be doing... that is the question...
Then my messages would also be the same... blur blur and dun even know what am i talking bout...
Dear.. i know its my fault... i cant change this habit of mine.. i hope u understand my weaknesses as well... i cant remember many things from the start... till now.. i wont fake myself or force myself just to love u then i only remember ur timings... i love u who the way u are... i care for u is not using the timings to determine it... i love u from last time till now is still the same.. neva change and nothing has changed... i care for u is ur condition, ur mood, ur health, ur safety, ur surroundings... not the time.. time is our enemy.... why should i be caring the time of u? What time u dance i must know? Shouldnt that be over my brain use?
I’m not saying that you are not important to me... i’m not saying ur timing is not important... i’m not saying its not necessary... but my brain now has a use of what to do... even like so small matter i could forget... just like taking a book just now... i’ve reminded myself, after class.. go bank take a bit money... then go and take the book... then after the bank... i went up to KPD A, i took my bag... and just walk to the bus without thinking bout it again... nothing about the book adi.. cause i was worrying on ur condition... i was worrying the exam is going to be like how... hmmm... not i wanna blame dear... no blaming done... that is just me... kept thinking about another thing while doing something... : (
I hope i can concentrate... hmm... but my brain seems running to another point... : (
Dear, i know that i never remember the timing of urs is my fault...
I know that i give u the feeling of i simply replied the smses to u is also my fault...
I know that its my fault...
I’m not saying that i know all this and i still want to do...
But i dun know how to tell u my situation...
For example today...
U said ur house no electricity...
Then ur whole garden... i was wondering what garden...
I really dun know what garden u referring.. total lost and blur... thinking... ur car porch also no garden... hmmm... then i mai leave it aside until i ask again...
Dint know dear was like so mad and pissed...
Bout the time of the dance.. i nearly remembered the time for ur classes correctly... although not correct, but it was close... at least i made a try... not like today i totally dun know...
Maybe its also because u have started back ur dancing classes and my exams are killing me... i’m really haywire...
Its not i’m doin anything... its not i’m talking to anyone... not sick, not tired or anything else...
Maybe i just need time to think what should i be doing... that is the question...
Then my messages would also be the same... blur blur and dun even know what am i talking bout...
Dear.. i know its my fault... i cant change this habit of mine.. i hope u understand my weaknesses as well... i cant remember many things from the start... till now.. i wont fake myself or force myself just to love u then i only remember ur timings... i love u who the way u are... i care for u is not using the timings to determine it... i love u from last time till now is still the same.. neva change and nothing has changed... i care for u is ur condition, ur mood, ur health, ur safety, ur surroundings... not the time.. time is our enemy.... why should i be caring the time of u? What time u dance i must know? Shouldnt that be over my brain use?
I’m not saying that you are not important to me... i’m not saying ur timing is not important... i’m not saying its not necessary... but my brain now has a use of what to do... even like so small matter i could forget... just like taking a book just now... i’ve reminded myself, after class.. go bank take a bit money... then go and take the book... then after the bank... i went up to KPD A, i took my bag... and just walk to the bus without thinking bout it again... nothing about the book adi.. cause i was worrying on ur condition... i was worrying the exam is going to be like how... hmmm... not i wanna blame dear... no blaming done... that is just me... kept thinking about another thing while doing something... : (
I hope i can concentrate... hmm... but my brain seems running to another point... : (
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