1st Year anniversary

dear...
happy Anniversary for the 1st Year... 19.11

i'm also lucky that i found u as my gf... i appreciate dear alot...

although i tried my best to work as hard i can to make u happy and make things right...
but seems to be very hard for me as well... i'm trying my best k? hehe

dear, to me.. u r always pretty k? make u a precious... hehehe...
dear... i also like it when u r sleeping on me when i'm driving.. but it seems dangerous.. cant do that often o.. hahaha

but dear...
all seems hard for these past few months..
hope u could run along with me..

tq dear for supporting me:)

ur love too...
Jack Foo

Genting Highlands Day 2 and Day 3...

as u all have waited so long.... this is the day 2 and day 3... after exams ma... mai continue lo...

Day 2 (7/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS

The day 2 started when i woke up in the middle of the morning and cause of neck pain..
Dint really slept properly...
In the end, slept then wake then sleep back...
Until 12pm with me and my dear...
So happy that we can share the night together...
Then we went out of the room and cleaned ourselves... found out also that the whole house has no one except us...
After the cleaning and bathing... we then found the note... saying that they went out...

Inn kun and Yvonne was also missing... dun know where they went to.. then note only shows that Cindy and Adrian when walking...
The plan from yesterday was a total disaster... supposed to have breaky together de... morning de... not brunch in the afternoon... we bad.. lol...
Then they started making food... me and my dear bought additional food...
Got eggs, butter, and sugar with a packet of milo... funny thing is the price is FREAKING EXPENSIVE...
One egg cost bout rm0.70 and the sugar is rm2.50 per 500 gram... omg.. so exp...
Nvm lo.. this is GENTING ma... what to do?
Went back up with my dear and went on cooking...
The next problem starts...
Fire stove not working... and matches not lighten up...
Then called the person and went down AGAIN to House Cleaning Department to get the matches..

The worst part, that idiot say the matches are wet.. so hard to light always...
Then he gives me the same type of matches.... -.-!!! what the...
I tried to light it up next to a dustbin.. where got cigarettes ashes... but then, dint light.. same effect..
In the end, bought a lighter which is rm1.70.. which is also a cacat one..
Cant light properly...
After all that mess and problems with issues in it, still cant light...
Luckily Adrian was clever.. he checked the gas... not attached at all.. omg!! What a noob...

But without fire, how to start jek? Finished making brunch and eaten brunch hungrily...
Got baked beans, scrambled eggs, toast bread, and milo... lol...
After all of that, we packed up and my dear, Phoebe and Yvonne make the liberty to clean the plates ASAP so that we could go out fast... while Adrian and Cindy took the chance to clean the table.. lolx..
So fast everything went completely clean.. if only we were staying this type of house with roommates like that.. so happy... u do a bit, i do a bit... so nice.. lolx!
Then we make our journey back up the hill again... back to the first world, and went back to the warehouse sale, cause Inn Kun and Yvonne haven’t went there before
After walking for a moment, me and my dear decided to buy shoes for her... bought the shoes for her d... rm29.90, BUM Equipment... how cheap is that.. lol... quite yeng also... hehehe..
Then we went and kai kai around the place... went walking by... then went to casino...

That was our idea.. hahahaha... then went inside the casino... the laughing is because someone made me laugh until now...
The conversation was like this...
Me: the gambling is like this...
Phoebe: oh really?? But the guy put all the money inside...
Me: oh... the banker very geng... win only by a point...
Phoebe: ya lo... very geng...
When the person lost again... in the gamble,
Phoebe: (said loudly behind the guy) the guy lost again!!
Me: wa liao... dun so loud...
The guy looked at us... then we left quickly... so bad, we all went and say bad about the person...
Then we went to walk around the casino... looking at the new place... looking at the renovation.. all kinds of gambling’s things... then got hot coffee and hot milo inside the casino...

About 8pm, we went back to the apartment... went and rest... bath... and then wanted to have dinner... but we have what for dinner... i’m kinda blur... i think it was the remaining bread and eggs...
But when we gathered back at the dinner table, we played cards in the apartment... exhausted for the day... after playing not long... they have been too exhausted...
But me and my dear... went out... cause not that tired... it was HUNGRY!! Went walking up to the mini market at the old town restaurant there... having the cold breeze and bought the food there....
Got 3 bowls of mee is rm9, then bought bout 6... 2 each for our gang and for us... bought sweets (till now still inside my fridge) haha... and BEER!! One can is 500ml de... 12.2% de... went back to the apartment and started our meal.. having fun... but the prawn mee... is awkward... kinda funny de paste that is for the mee...
Finished the meal.. had the fun... then went to sleep... till the next day...

Day 3 (8/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS

Just woke up... then quickly bath... did all the things.. pack up... run up and down.. then packed d...
Went down... with our beloved “HEAVY” bags... hahaha.. now even heavier due to the water and the things we bought... hahaha..
Then we walked up to the bus stop... finding for bus... at 1st at the bus stop of GENTING, the person over there... very gila.. not over there... and only 9pm onwards only got bus tickets... gila de...
Then we are gila enough to walk another way... that is a long journey like from north to south for the cable car... and got the tickets from there... at 1st we plan to sit like how we sat when we sat on the 1st day... but in the end, we all cramp into a cable car... hahahaha...
Have some pics taking... then went arrived, we went to get our bus ticket...
The lady very irresponsible and very rude to customers... i think usually she gets complains... cause when serving Cindy, she asked nicely but that idiot Malay lady so rude!! Then dared Cindy to complain to the GENTING department...
Dun care the rude lady la... then the bus came on time... and before that, i went to toilet before rushing into the bus... hahaha...
In the bus, went on sleeping... went on sleeping until we reach the ONE UTAMA back, but then i did something wrong... called my dad on that spot...
Dear, i was so sorry at that moment... i am sorry every time i remember that moment...
I’m so sorry that i left u so early... leaving u alone... really sorry till nw... i dun want to put this into the memories de... but i cant dun remember this moment... i’m really really sorry....
I was too blur to call my dad at that moment... hmm... really exhausted... when i left the subway... i walked slowly into the car... thinking of u only... hope u forgive me... :( hmmm.... i really hope u forget this case k? Kiss kiss... muacks!!!
Then this is how we ended our holidays... some happy and sad moments... hmm.. :(

i'm sorry...

dear... although i havent post the day 2 and 3... which i wasnt able to finish... but i'm trying my best to finish it k? :(

Dear, i know that i never remember the timing of urs is my fault...

I know that i give u the feeling of i simply replied the smses to u is also my fault...

I know that its my fault...

I’m not saying that i know all this and i still want to do...

But i dun know how to tell u my situation...

For example today...

U said ur house no electricity...

Then ur whole garden... i was wondering what garden...

I really dun know what garden u referring.. total lost and blur... thinking... ur car porch also no garden... hmmm... then i mai leave it aside until i ask again...
Dint know dear was like so mad and pissed...
Bout the time of the dance.. i nearly remembered the time for ur classes correctly... although not correct, but it was close... at least i made a try... not like today i totally dun know...

Maybe its also because u have started back ur dancing classes and my exams are killing me... i’m really haywire...
Its not i’m doin anything... its not i’m talking to anyone... not sick, not tired or anything else...

Maybe i just need time to think what should i be doing... that is the question...
Then my messages would also be the same... blur blur and dun even know what am i talking bout...

Dear.. i know its my fault... i cant change this habit of mine.. i hope u understand my weaknesses as well... i cant remember many things from the start... till now.. i wont fake myself or force myself just to love u then i only remember ur timings... i love u who the way u are... i care for u is not using the timings to determine it... i love u from last time till now is still the same.. neva change and nothing has changed... i care for u is ur condition, ur mood, ur health, ur safety, ur surroundings... not the time.. time is our enemy.... why should i be caring the time of u? What time u dance i must know? Shouldnt that be over my brain use?

I’m not saying that you are not important to me... i’m not saying ur timing is not important... i’m not saying its not necessary... but my brain now has a use of what to do... even like so small matter i could forget... just like taking a book just now... i’ve reminded myself, after class.. go bank take a bit money... then go and take the book... then after the bank... i went up to KPD A, i took my bag... and just walk to the bus without thinking bout it again... nothing about the book adi.. cause i was worrying on ur condition... i was worrying the exam is going to be like how... hmmm... not i wanna blame dear... no blaming done... that is just me... kept thinking about another thing while doing something... : (

I hope i can concentrate... hmm... but my brain seems running to another point... : (

1st day in Genting Highlands with my dear

Day 1 (7/9/10) in GENTING HIGHLANDS

Early morning in 6am, went to 1 Utama, waited for my dear to come..
But be4 that, i was in so pain in my tummy...
went and sneak into the 1Utama’s shopping centre...
to cure my tummy ache... went inside the shopping centre and then had my time there...
approx 8something... i waited at the bus stop... wondering whether is that the real and exact bus stop... since i dint know any details of the trip... waited for my dear...
then there was this bunch of kids... shouting and screaming like no one’s business.. as if its their house.. omg.. kept talking loud nonstop... all aunties and uncles was looking at them and then they dint even bothered... omg...

at 8 something bout to reach 9am, my dear and Cindy and Adrain came..
1st time seeing Adrain and Cindy face to face... lol...
In the end, we could only bought the 10am tickets due to their timing to board the bus was already over...

Then we (as in Cindy, Adrain, Me, My dear, Zhee Ray, and Charmaine, i think i spelled correctly) sat there and begin chatting on how are u... how’ve u been.. and many more...
However, that moment was getting to know what happened when they dint see each other...
Then we boarded the bus, at first, it looked so grand for us to go up the bus, but there was no seatings... that makes us sick... but then.. luckily, we are boarding to a bus with seating numbers.. omg.. so much better...

And then, we took off to the SkyWay Genting to go up Genting Highlands... we have rooms at Ria Apartments, but this time, its at PAHANG side, rather than SELANGOR building...
When reach the SkyWay, we rushed up to the cable car area, took our sweet time and boarded the cable cars... me and my dear was alone in the cable car.. so nice... although all had the same thing... couples together in a cable car, (although RAY and Charmaine is not couples, but they looked as if..) but then, me and my dear were the only ones who has only both of us in it and the other couples has people behind them... but anyway... its just a ride... our ride was number 17 on it... lolx..




GENTING THEME PARK
At the first step into the theme park...
Lovely, hot and delicious smell of food rushed to our noise and made us all even hungry than before and the wind, blown so cooling... before we made the way to the mcdonalds, i went to CIMB bank to get the last remaining money of mine..
Then we made our way to Mcdonalds first... because we were so hungry until my dear gastric d... cham cham for her... hmm.. then we all ordered our food... we ordered 2 burgers (Big Mac and a beef burger, the last set in Mcdonalds) lol... hmm.. then when we are eating, Ray is nowhere to be found... he was like MIA while we were eating... dun know where he went to... then after our meal... he came back and said he took a scroll.. lolx! Hahaha... exercise before meal eh? Hahaha..

After that, we took our first journey to the ticketing counter nearby the cinema to get our outdoor tickets that is attached with the bus tickets, a package from Genting Resort i think... hahaha

Then we started our journey in the theme park to play the seats that flew us into the air de..

Then we wanted to sit the bumper boat or the boat rides... but then me and ray was too heavy to play and the people was extremely lot!! Omg!! Hmm... in the end, me and my dear wanted to play the boat, and cindy was wearing the skirt and not able to play more games.. then she insisted that she wants to change first while we go play... ray and charmaine was waiting for us to play...

But then, after few mins, the line haven’t move at all.. me and my dear dint played d... we went back to ray and charmaine’s place and sit down a while... (and i haven’t mention... the luggages haven’t go into the apartment... its still with us) omg!!!
After sitting a while there is a shop next to the Boat Ride, we went inside and took a scroll... then there is a crossbow shot on top of that shop... first time seeing that after so many years coming up Genting Highlands...

Next stop, the Pirate Boat... we waited bout 5 rounds before our turn... then there was this girl.. wearing a very short skirt which we tot that she wasn’t wearing anything else... me and adrain also wanted to see it so badly, stood at the end of the stairs seeing her going up... but then, ai ya! Got wear shorts de wor... but she wasn’t pretty, in fact too skinny... her thighs was as big as hands... omg..
Then while we played the pirate boat, the sequence of shouting went terribly wrong...
One side that went up went shouting before coming down... and the other side was before reaching high up, the started shouting... wasn’t it supposed to be coming down only shout de? Hahaha... and the shouting from loud to very loud and then to extremely loud... NONSENSE~~

After that, we went scrolling and took many pictures... bought an icecream of chocolates... then went taking pictures from the shop that my dear took a rabbit hat and took pics to the caravan that was next to the ghost house to the waterfall that was previously the cable car, and lastly to the waterfall that we were on the way to the Dragon Ride...
At this time, the bags were heavy and my legs and hands are wobbling... lolx... cause of extreme sports and long hours of taking it... during the waiting of the ride... some hooligans cut lines and no one dare to scold them... omg... who are they? If they suddenly stand in front of me or a slight further... i’ll definitely ask them to line up... they went shooting upwards... sick idiots... then the line was extremely long... causing we all to get SUNBURN... hahaha... omg.. Genting Highlands getting Sunburn... how’s that? Hahhahaha... although its bad, but its funny... hahahaha...

Then after the ride, it was bout 1 something.. we decided to go down and check on the apartment, to see ok or not... while walking down, it seems easy... but also tired, cause of the bags... omg..!! then the employees there... talk nonsense... this la.. that la... me and my dear dint went in.. so dint know.. but then they should have let us to put our bags here and leave a deposit of money ma... then at least we wont run rite? Haiz... stupid people with idiot minds... grr... making us to walk back up to the theme park... omg!! So tiring...

I kinda forgotten what we did here... next time i will change or add on... lolx..
I think its me and my dear wanted to go sungai rejang, and the others insisted to go for the mine’s ride... hehehe... then me and my dear cant make it... then we went on the mini train ride... slow and nice... can see the whole Genting Highlands... then we also went taking pictures... we then waited for them... while they went on the corkscrew... lolx... we waited only... seeing people playing and we two are having our own sweet time... kiss kiss dear! Hehehe...

Later it started drizzling where we took the a time at the escalator to corkscrew, we had the clown to be bz for us and then made us lollipops and a flower (my dear’s request to the clown... he was so nice... made her one.. with 6 petals... lolx... ) then cindy’s lollipop become a hole in the middle... like she licked the lollipop only in the middle... lolx... hahahaha... orange de lollipop... then since my dear got a pink de... then we gave her... she became a crying baby to a happy little 3 year old kid... hahaha... jumping up and down with it... lolx!

Then we walked back to the apartment due to its adi bout 5pm and there is no rain at all... lol.. check-in and threw everything into the rooms... then flew out straight... lolx... cause inn kun and the mystery fren was coming up wot... the gang was like so happy to see them... lol..

We went back to the First World to get our dinner with another couple... dint really get both of their names... then we went Hou Mei Restaurant to eat our dinner... kiss kiss... muacks! Cause my beloved dear have 30% discount.. hahaha... then we had our dinner d...
The couples went to have a movie in the cinema and then we all have to wait for inn kun to come... he brought a girl... ray was woohoo~~!!! Hahaha... then the girl’s name was Yvonne... funny thing is she cant make it when people kept staring at her.. hahaha... nvm la... many people have many kinds of attitudes.. hahahaha...

Then after dinner... we went scrolling and have fun walking around... lolx.. while inn kun went back to the apartment to put their things.. after we scroll, we went to have scroll in a fair at Genting international Convention Centre (GICC).. there were glasses to shoes to clothes and undergarments.. my dear bought a bag for her sis, a glasses for herself, and a box of undergarments for myself... lolx..

Then we went back to the apartment, cause we walked too long and too the bags too long d... then we want to go back d... walk back down to the apartment to get some rest.. then we ate the mamee cup mee as our supper... chatted and talked and played cho d before we ended to sleep... lolx.. thats how we ended our first day... lolx..

9months aniversary, Dragon-I day!

This was supposed to be a blog post where i must write long time ago...

Due to the callings and notifications of my dear...
I’ve decided to write this during my working hours...
Hopefully it would not take me a very long time to write this post...

9months Anniversary at Pavilion
Started the journey to her house at 7.00pm, but in the end, went there late due to the house work and many annoying and troublesome matters...
Then arrived at 8.30pm... supposed to go to Full House at Jalan Yap Kwan Seng, Ampang and celebrate our 9month anniversary there...
When she came out of the house... woohoo!! It was so nice.... so pretty... it was red dress with black short skirt... dint see her be4 like that... looks like the little cute devil there... hahahaha
But dint make any reservations or bookings... dint know what was going to happened... hahaha
However, it turned out to be the place didnt open on Mondays... hahahaha....
Dear... faith lai de... next time we go k? Hehehe...
In the end, we decided to go to bukit bintang, pavilion and eat dinner...
Decided place was Dragon-I... it was super!!
I brought my camera along that day and we took the food that we ate...
But dint know there was some nerd sitting alone with his camera and follow us by doing it... lol!!
Why wanna follow jek? Hahaha... nothing to do meh?
Ahahaha.. then we went outside for a scroll before ending up in hartamas Baskin Robins! Dear’s favourite lo..
Had our BR rum and raisin... hahahaha... lolx... dear... ur favourite? Hahaha..
Then ended the day with kisses and pictures that are uploaded in FB...
Any chance, check there out...

Now i’m in sunway pyramid alone eating Mcdonalds and writing this blog... haiz... cham cham...
Today got to work... and working here makes me sleepy... a lot of people walking pass by... but the thing is no one buy or anything else... omg...
Make me so sleepy... so sien... omg... hmm... -.-

Not an Argument but Just Understanding Between Us

Dear, u once told me to tell u anything that i dun know how to say to put into this blog rite?? this is the time...:(

Dear, i dun want to bring this back up... this whole conversation in this blog is with an anger towards someone... and a soft, low, and sad tone talking to dear... u know i wont shout to u rite?? Hmm...

This thingy have been running in my brains for a long time...
Kepts reminding me... And kept occurring to us even though we faced to ignore it...
I trust u... but did u trust me? Or give me the trust?? No... i dun feel any... that is why this came out... and u gave the feeling in me to not have trust in u...

This is because of him... him... that idiot... i’m so pissed on him right now... 
I wanna know why.... even though u know there is something going to happen that night... u still wanna go for that gathering... u know that sitting in his car would come out such happening de.. i told u so... u dint listen at all... kissing on cheek is small matter?? NO... to me its not...

U knew that he is still on to u... in fact, u still want to go to the gathering and then sit his car to go...

Furthermore, u also knew that he could do anything to u... ANYTHING is POSSIBLE at that moment...

I told u so... but no words of mine is able to turn u down...

AND u still wants to go to his car and go by then...

Dear, u are not 3 year old kid anymore... u know these things could happen... but u still
want to go for it...

I was asking myself a lot of questions... did i do wrong that could lead to u on doing this to me...? i kept repeating and thinking about it... but however, i got no answer...
Dear... u also know that if u receives his calls... and go to his car... uses as a transportation... this means something... to our relationship and him... i dun know u know this or not... but this is most likely u know something a little like this... this is what

i think of.. and i got many opinions that supports my thoughts...
To him, he will get all sorts of thinking that u are giving him hope... by sitting his car, getting his help for transportation, and all other things... will lead to his stupid mind thinking and lead to many troubles that could cause our relationship to get from bad to worsening...

And when both of u are together, alone in the car, alone in the carpark, and many places alone... he is able to do almost anything to u... u also know he is a forcer... means he will get to the point to do what it takes... i assume that u told him what i told u to... but its not working... then u have to start to do something... i felt so bad right now...

In our relationship, this could get worst... kissing u on the cheek is not a small matter... u MIGHT treat it small... but i cant... remember when i told u i would slap him if i were u...?? i really meant it... why dint u?? Why still ask questions on “what u want”?? Why dun u just take the action straight away??


This makes me lose confidence and trust among our relationship... u gave me the hope on he is not going to touch u or anything else... i adviced dear d... and it happened... i told dear d... how am i to trust u??
U told me nothing would happen... and all my advices u doesn’t seem to listen or understand...

I told u everything and many possible ways of him doing it to u... i told u adi... u dint listen and in fact, ignored my advices and just leave it as it be... when u do so... its heartbreaking... u kept saying that i dun trust u...


What if my ex finds me? And then calls me out? With the addition like urs... kept calling u nonstop, kept msn nonstop, kept sms-ing u “bebe”... although its ur name... but then should he calls u phoebe like the others? What if my ex calls me ban ban?? This way u adi started to have jealousy... not i want to find all the old things to take about... not i wanna get back the old stuff and put it out... but its seems and feels the same... this extend u adi started crying... what if she kissed me on the cheek?? Gives me a lot of things that i dun wish for but i still accepts it?? And then i go out with a bunch of frens sitting her car?? Then i kept asking her for the gathering transportation?? Ignoring her and neva want to scold her?? what would it let dear think? hmm??

If this was me, would u still go along with me? Would u still trust me even though i told u its alright... nothing would happen? Would u still have the confidence that i wont get anything from her?

all of these happenings will lead to the situation that i'm having right now... this is not a fren anymore dear... its not... he is not a enemy nor a fren... he is a person for now that u must get rid of... scold him... if not... make him heart dead... if cannot... find some way... if i do it... he will turn horrible... and when this happens, u will be having frens talking bad about u... (that is what i think when u say dun mess with him or scold him or whack the shit out of him) dear.. they wont talk bad about u... they will only talk bad of me... what is the problem with that? I’m ok with it... this is considered as a protection among my gf... they'll understand... if their loved ones are being done the same way, they would also do the same....

dear... fetching u is adi is hope for him and a bad thing for us d... its over the extend d... i’m not asking u to sacrifice for me and dun go for any gatherings forever... but when he is there among ur frens... its better for u to stay away for a period of time... or else, when we are free... then we’ll go together ma... isnt this better??

its adi very bad for him to fetch you... and indeed he kissed u on the cheek...

how could i not emo??
How could i not angry or furious on him??
How could i not be so like this now??
Its same for dear... like i listed on top... what if a girl kissed me on the cheek?? Hmm??
Even i poked some girl... no matter is whoever girl... its playing... u seems to hate me d...
U dun like i do it... u jealous of me poking others... then i’ve change on this matter... i dun know how long that i could stand this... i’ll try as long as i can... but for now... its your turn... u have started it by calling him to fetch u there d... or if u dint call, he have accepted his offer on the transportation... what is this?? This is called the hope that u are giving him... u know its not... but to him... it is... and its not only once... its most of the time... when he is back... u had dinner once... and now gathering... this hurts me... when u know he is still onto u... why cant u evade for awhile among ur frens... and letting him no chance to see u or talk with u??

What reactions he is having now?? Happy and delighted?? Cause of seeing us here talking about this matter? Dear... hopes are given like this... accepting his offers and calls... u told me it wouldn’t happen anything de... he wont dare... u will block or stop it from happening... u promised and so on... but did u...?? i know its hard for u to evade him... but did u do something?? U asked him only... verbally... what u want?? What if i got kissed by another girl and i just ask...?? what she wants?? Obviously is me rite??


I might have promised u a lot of things...its all the foods, outings and other non harmful to our relationship... and in the future, i would be able to give u... but the thing is now, u seem like want to end our relationship... u disrespected in the relationship of ours by accepting the offer of his transportation and not listening to my advice... and now end up something happened... but where is the promise that dear give me?? Where is the promise that dear said nothing happened? Where is the trust that i gave dear when i told dear that he would do something?? Did dear respected my advice? Did dear listened to me?? Did dear want to listen to me?? Is there any trust here??

How am i to trust u anymore?? What if its me?? Would u trust me??
How am i to have confidence in dear anymore?? If it was me... do u trust me?? will u??
Did you respected me?? U just told me that u were going... insisted on going... and sitting his car to go... i neva felt the respect in dear... i told dear... everywhere i go... even now... i respected u... i even stopped my outings with verene... not even with ying qi... i know u are very jealous of me going with them... i respected dear’s advice... but did dear?? I dun know... i dun know how to have the trust within dear anymore... how am i to trust dear? I told u he is not a person to give hope with...


Last time was the once... went out with him on dinner... cant u say no?? Or cant u say dun wanna go?? Cant u say that u have something to do?? And the worst of the worst... cant u say u want to go home when he brought u somewhere else? What does this lead to?? This couldn’t stop me from the jealousy... i leave this behind is because that time u told me is he come to ur mom and ask... this makes me couldn’t have anything to say...
I asked u once... why is he able to bring u out at night?? And i cant... why cant i bring dear out??

U told me he was close to ur mum and family... and then nothing else... then what could i say?? I leave this to be?? Then what is our relationship then?? Frens?? Or what else?? Hmm? I really dun know how to expect this...
Even frens can have more time with you dear... and this “FREN” isn’t a guy that is good... somemore doin all kinds of things during the dinner or gathering... does this make a jealousy out of me?? OH YEAH!!  Furthermore, the “fren” that dear thinks that he is... is your ex and u kept on going out with him and things happened... how am i to settle down?? How am i to not jealous?? What if its my ex kept calling me out?? Hmm? And i have seldom time to go out with u..?? can u settle down?? Hmm?

Hmm... all of dear’s actions and words on this matter neva seem to change... all of the things that u do and did... never seem to bother the things that are seriously happening among us... it hurting people dear... do u know that?? u expect people to change for u... and u think that u have change for others... but in fact is u dint change much... u kept making people change for u... and u kept hurting your loved ones like this... this makes it so heart pain...

Especially today... at the KPD lvl 2... although u dint mean it... but it felt so pain when i heard and felt it... u might see me getting it very normal... but in fact, i’m very sad... u shown no disrespect of me to the others... (although i sometimes shown disrespect (as in naughty) to dear... but it is between us and never out loud like dear did... ) dear shouted take him la... go take him... what does this mean?? I’m a product to u?? Am i really one to dear?? Am i really a substitute towards him?? Dear... i neva say this to anyone at anytime be4... go take her la..... what if i told some guy... go la.. take u... go take... although with a funny tone... but u also will be having the same way of feeling like what am i having rite now... what is the feeling that is so pain after all the incidents that u have caused and neva tend to listen to people with this talking... ?? what would u feel??

Now... he comes out again and kept bothering u... why cant u just tell him dun disturb me anymore?? Why cant u find a way?? Is it so hard?? It has taken quite long.. Just make him heart dead... making him heart dead is scolding him d... i assume that u told him even though u leaves me and then u wont be back with him... but is ur intention and tone harsh enough?? I dun think so... is not that i dun trust dear... but i ask back dear... after all these things has happened... what is me to have the trust in dear?? What is there within me to trust dear more?? How can i trust dear on this matter?? I bet u dint scold him dear... i remembered u said no one would want u to scold them... its because its scary and it would be mad... i told u i wouldn’t want to try... why dint u do it to him?? Why let it be throughout over relationship?? why dun u try and scold on him?? (this matter i have been asking...why din u scold him??)


When there is no trust, the relationship ends... i dun wanna to end... but how?? Dear is not trying ur best... ignoring his calls, msn and everything in front of me... is useless and not enuf... its because he is still like this... but then ur attitudes did made a mistake let me saw it... like a few days passed... we were sitting together... he asked u in MSN, r u tired... u replied... yea yea... how am i supposed to know or trust u that u lost all his contacts and u did ignored his callings?? How dear?? How??
If i told u i neva chat with my ex anymore... and neva talk at all... i kept ignoring her callings... but i smsed her in front of u... not long words... just “haha” will do... i think u will be emo-ing me for a few months... so.. teach me what can i do?? Forget these things are already too late for it as dear hasn’t showing any much to me... hurting me... and causing me to pain deeply in the heart of mine...


Dear... i really dun know what to tell u... how to tell u... i know u are considerate and everything nice... but this isn’t a way... u need and have to solve it... its haunting our relationship... how am i to calm down?? Dun emo?? how can i not??

Dear, u told me not to emo and dun be sad... u tell me... when u are in my shoes... if i tell u... u not emo or sad?? can u?

Like today at Solaris... i wasn’t emo on dear’s mum... i wasn’t emo on u as well... its like this... dear did not want to clarify anything on this matter to me... just let it be... it isnt over dear... i know u were tired... but could u tell me next time only talk bout it? at least i know dear is trying ur best to solve it and give an answer... but dear just treats the kissing as a small matter...

The kissing is like a pin in my heart now... how to take it out?? It pokes deeper when dear messaged me, if wanna come, dun emo... how dear?? How?? Did u ask what was i emo-ing?? It wasn’t ur mom... although i did blame ur mum sometimes... nagging and the rules that she set... i wasn’t against on her... its i just dun feel right... and i tell dear... i dint mean to blame ur mum or scold ur mum or backstab her or something... its just saying a topic about it... i neva keep that in my heart... after that i will forget about it... no matrer its ur mum or my mum... its just saying it... and then forgetting about it after awhile...

u were my partner, my heart, and my lover... and u’ll always are... but after all on top...
tell me how to be not emo?? No jealousy?? No anger?? No hatred?? No need to care??
Tell me?? can u withstand it?? Hmmm...
U asked me was there anything in the car?? I was so emo... my head looked up for a few moments because tears was adi coming down... i dun wanna let dear see my tears rolls down... i wanna to have dear all beside me 24/7... but these stuff... how?? How??
Dear....
I dun want to have anything happen to our relationship k??
I just want to have a peace and happy relationship with dear k??
I also hope that this matter will soon end... and i hope i dun need to keep remembering it??
I’m still emo... i’m still sad... and i’m still not used to these situations...
I dun know what will i do if this continues...:( hmm..

dear... i have repeatedly read this a lot of times be4 posting it here... at least 4-5 times...rephrasing and editting... i just wish dear wont be mad at me.. or emo me... or emo for the day k?? its just an understanding between us...

Dear.... i’m not mad at u k? I’m just want things to be clarified... but i just dun know how to tell dear... i just dun have the courage to tell dear these things... i wish i dint offended u or said something bad... hmm.. if i did, i’m sorry... 

omg.. omg... omg...

omg... i hope that the things is going smoothly and wont happen anything serious...
as it could harm the family and other people... omg...

i hope that the results have shown it negative that is true and it wouldnt change the results...
but why the results is being worst?? why is the effects getting different??
omg... dear god... i know i'm wrong... i'm bad... i know i've been playful... i know its my fault... omg...

the effects its going to hurt my family as in my parents havent settled the debt...
and other side.. omg...

my hands are shaking as in my brain dun know how to think and move properly...
my legs are cold and numb as we speak right now... omg...
dear god... i hope that the results are negative and stays negative for now.. omg...