I dun know what is wrong with you

Yes, as this title. I dun really know what is wrong with you. I had a bad morning. Adi very late. got scolded. add on, your hurtful words in the morning. it has brought me a bad morning. A bad start, a bad day. i always tot you have my back. supporting on what i did. on what i do. i always think that when i let u know my bad day, i purposely share the things i have today. i think that i have been doing my part. telling you what i have been. Just for a shoe. i told you that my shoe broke. then I dun know what is to smile about. then you say u have your days that your shoe broke, shud i smile too? Is it all my bad things you have to smile for it? Dun it makes you think of yourself very fake to me? if not, sorry. but i do. no need to think or assume or anything. there is nothing for me to do so. cause you are making me feel like i am an idiot. go ahead. i am already an idiot to you right? right or wrong, you gave me that answer.

i have been telling you what i have done, where i go, and what i do. nothing have been better for me for today. and you are smiling. and you tell me that you r really smiling. smiling on my bad things. and when i replied, you tell me you are not faking it. cant change my mind and call me assuming. ok then. cont smiling on the bad deeds happening to me. you call me fix, as if i am the super guy. that knows how to fix everything. even the cobbler tells me it can be fixed but super exp until i can buy one. super glue can fix your boots. which part of your boot is broken? compare to mine. so if you dun know, did you even ask which part? nothing. din ask and only smile. the worst is you are smiling. which you are adi faking of it. no point to smile, but you did. I dun know what is wrong with you. this is a matter of sad. what is to smile about? if this aint fake. what is it? fake adi then tell me that i am assuming. if i assume that is. no point show me. keep back the real you and be fake. you are adi doing it, how can you keep yourself back when you have already kept the real you back? its like u have eaten and say you havent. then cont eat and you say no need to eat. so what is it you are actually saying? i dun know la. you want to faint, then faint la. cause i dun even know what is ur intention of doing so. the only thing i know from your actions if you said you are, means that you dun wan listen to my things anymore, dun wanna know of it, and kept it aside. right? ok. cont then.

you can dun read this at all. cause what i say is bad on myself, its a smiling matter to you. smile more then. smile then faint ok? i have purposely do all the things for you. thinking of time to spent with you. you told me that after your assignment and exams, you would find time for me. you would try and give me a part of your time. am i asking for 3nights again? 2nights? a night? no lo. nothing on it. i just would want to be last time i come and look for you. at least you have given me a part of your time. i am not asking for all. even now you have ended your assg and send it to be printed out, i dun really know what you are doing. there is nothing much for you to do anymore except your readings for your exams. which you always do it last min. dun tell me you are actually studying and everything. which i know you arent doing it. and btw, did you even tell me? yes, i am nobody to u. and u meant so much to me. is it i must do and you dun need to? so yes, i am the idiot now right? no need to wait for you right? wait also no use and wait also nothing de. dun mean anything to you except the stress i am giving right? what i did, what i do, what i give..

i aint expecting much of u. i din really wan all of your time. u need it, i give. and now, u telling me dun wait and everything. its so hurtful. when u purposely do sumthing for sum1, the sum1 tells you no need to, cause u are doing actually nothing. what u would feel? nothing? smile only? i really dun know what is wrong with you. i dun really wan this post to be posted in my blog. this is nothing to you at all. right? but this post mean so bad to me. i posted this because i wan you to know what i felt. no need to argue through the phone. i am so tired of arguing on this matter. on and on. keep on going and going. you tell me that i am going and going nonstop. i have given and accepted that we arent together. but what i wish is we get back together. and stop all the fighting. what is the need to fight? you have no time. i accept. at least i get sumthing like you would try your best for me of what i have done. i am not wanting any sympathy or anything else than your love. i dun wan all the bad things that made u sympathy of me then only get back with me. i wan you to know what am i doing for you and will do everything i could for u. i just wan the days of us not to be wasted. i dun wan only memories of the past. i wan for the present and future as well. dun you und anything from this line?

just let the past go. we have broke up. that was past. now head on the future. give me a chance for the present i have? dun you understand at all? i have put the past aside. why cant you? why are we still quarrelling? you say this and that i couldnt explain to u. at least i tried. the picture of the girl in my phone, is it real? really real? that is to just disturb my collegue. try and ask if you wan. there is nothing for me to hide. i disturb my colleague is because the girlfriend of his always plays with his phone. so if she checks out, she would be asking questions. just a disturbing matter. and the gf of his wont mind. thats what he said. we as in his colleagues are just playing. trying to see. thats all.

but your side. yes, u and your bros are into One Piece and everything. sending you pictures of luffy and everything. did you even try to explain why is he sending you pics? just because you both are into the movie? tell tat to a fren of yours, see what they would say. it is normal to you, but to me, you told me you wouldnt find him to chat and everything. i did my part. din even ask anything. call me to check your phone? what is the need of checking? cause later you would say i check on you and everything. this have been in my mind. he has been chasing after you and telling you stories of his past gf. who is he to go after and anything else. there wouldnt be a guy telling another girl chasing after another girl stories. i dun know la. later i got the words of assuming and everything saying i dun trust you and everything. i trust you. that you wont find him back to chat on. but you have even another chat box called the talk box. saying you have the right to download another app and why cant you find him chat. why is there a reason not to chat with him. i know him? i barely knew him. not like u did. if i am not jealous, then i am not a guy for this matter. even a normal guy seeing his love one chatting vf another guy would be jealous. why? its because this normal guy dun even know that his love one is doing. why is she doing so. if there is so many things to be said, at least share on the things that he have said. at least i know. so many secrets cannot be revealed? all also secrets? privacy? even i have all the privacy on others, all the secrets, i would have told you. i tell you everything. but what was the outcome? i am being the idiot telling you all lo. right? There is no outcome on you. its just you have explained on things which are on the brief. just so simple and nothing else. i am thinking too much? no.. its because you din even try to explain and take things so simple in life. if there isnt a reason to do, what is it for? dancing is so simple to you, why bother taking all the trouble for the exams and everything? so it means sumthing to you. it isnt simple always. if there is so easy, just a picture, msging you and everything, dont it have a reason? just to tell you? ya.. even your phone has msgs, which i am not to interfere. i din even get to know. hiding your way there with the msg when i was around. what is it to be kept there? try me la. msging in front of me. telling me what is it. controlling again and all that control.

there is nothing to control if you r willing to do it. there is nothing to be controlled of. even your smile, you have no outcome. just tell me its just let it be. smiled. what is to let it be? OMG.. it goes on and on. why? its because you are letting me think that you are doing it over and over it. what is me that is over and over? the matter is always coming from you. say what u wan on my blaming again. come on. think of it. everytime there is a matter, is always come from your actions. is it mine at first? like if the shoe there is nothing to be smiled of, why smile? no outcome. like if the msgs we shown at the first place, will there be jealousy after i asked? you dint show. no outcome. no point and need to show right? i am no one to you right? nothing at all. you always tell me, what i wan from people, firstly i must do. i did. i did my part, where is the part? did i ask for more? to you it might be. to me, nothing is on my side. i am not asking 100% back from you. at least 10-20%. but i dun really see it. i dun say, kept on cont and cont until it hurts me when i have to find out like this. i say, then say i hurt you badly and everything.

and now, sitting here alone. neva tired or fainted of what i would say. neva thinking of doing so. i would neva ever be tired explaining of what i did. i am not giving reasons, excuses or anything else. i just wan you to know i am not the kind of person. but what i get is i am always a blamer, accuser, thinking of nonsense and giving all stress and unhappiness to you. I am not. i am just like you. i wan to know. you want to know, i let you know. i wan to know, many obstacles and blaming dealt to me. when you wan from people, do what they actually wan. and i can dun do? i can dun tell? anything la. i told you since we were together. no need for me to repeat all over again.

Actually the whole thing keeps on going round and round neva stop cause you have been evading all the problems. letting it to be. if blaming, not trusting, suspecting, accusing and cont assuming is what you dun like of me, then your letting it to be, evading problems, and leaving mysteries to solve on their own.. is what i dun like of you. and say i cont doing, which you are also actually doing as well and neva stopping.. cont la. i have nothing else to say. if you wan to reply, you know the password and everything. if you dun wan, then its ok. no forcing done. no one is to read my blog except you.